Difference between revisions of "Thursdays with Abie/Quotes"

Revision as of 14:45, November 23, 2013

Marshall Goldman: Sir, my name is Marshall Goldman. I'm a newspaper columnist specializing in human interest stories.

Grampa: You're in the newspaper business? Something that's gonna die before I do!

Marshall Goldman: You have any other stories you'd care to tell me?

Grampa: Someone's listening to me!

Marshall Goldman: Now I know how a radio feels!

Bart: Oh, not that stupid stuffed lamb again. This isn't learning!

Edna: Do you want to learn?

Bart: No, no, no. I'm just saying...

Edna: This weekend, Larry will go home with...

Nelson: Please, God, I need this.

Edna: ...Bart Simpson.

Martin: Oh, cruel irony!

Homer: How come Grampa never shared those stories with us?

Marge: He does all the time. You just never listen.

Homer: Marge, my brain is like a computer, and I file away Grampa's stories in a very special place.

Homer: Dad, I don't have the right words to say how I really feel about you, but at least I know how to beat up a guy who does.

Grampa: Well, at least you never tried to kill me.

Lisa: Bart! If you're not gonna take care of him right, then give him to me.

Bart: How come you don't get mad when I torment real animals?

Lisa: I do! It enrages me!

Bart: I thought you Hindus were supposed to love everybody.

Lisa: I'm a freaking Buddhist! A Buddhist!