Difference between revisions of "The Burns and the Bees/Quotes"

Revision as of 18:23, February 21, 2012

Homer: Marge, remember when we were talking about our worst fears?

Marge: Uh-huh.

Homer: And mine was snakes, and yours was...?

Marge: Never being a grandmother.

Homer: Really? I thought it was Lisa with a beard of bees. Well, whatever, brace yourself.

Lisa: Willie, I didn't know you were an apiarist.

Groundskeeper Willie: From context, I can tell that means beekeeper.

Mayor Quimby: First, one announcement: I regret to inform you we are not offering childcare tonight. I don't know who that guy was you were leaving your kids with.

Lisa: Dad, we have to do something all the bees are dying!

Homer: (sarcastically) Oh, no! No bees! Ooh, now who will sting me and walk all over my sandwiches?

Lisa: But, Dad! Bees pollinate flowers.

Homer: Pfft. Flowers, the painted whores of the plant world.

Moe: Listen, Homer: in the back room, I got these super-tough Africanized bees. I saw this ad in a gentleman's magazine for excited African honeys and that's what they sent me. If we could combine them with Lisa's bees, it would make them strong enough to survive any environment.

Homer: But how are we supposed to combine the DNA of two strains of the same species?

Moe: Actually, Homer... (whispers)

Homer: (gasps) You and me?

Moe: No, the bees!

Homer: Oh, yeah, yeah, that's what I meant, too. I... have no... inclination.

[When Lisa releases the bees into their sanctuary]

Lisa: Oh, I miss them.

Marge: Now you know how I'll feel when you go to college.

Lisa: You'll always have Bart! Always.

Marge: But he'll be gone a lot repairing refrigerators.

Lisa: Always.

[As Lisa's bees are swarming around the breakfast table]

Bart: Mom, maybe you shouldn't have put so much syrup on the pancakes.

Homer: The secret is not to swallow the stingers. (takes big bite of pancakes with bees on them, and spits stingers out into a glass)

Lisa: Dad, don't eat the bees!

Homer: They're just drones, Lisa, they only live for, like, 5 minutes anyway! And they only have haploid cells, not diploid like me and Bart!

Bart: Yeah! (high-fives Homer)

Jimbo: Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to dump that bees' nest on those second grade babies.

Bart: Why would I want to?

Jimbo: Because I said "I dare you". Kearney, can you read it back?

Kearney: (reading) "Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to dump that bees' nest on those second-grade babies. Bart: Why would I want to? Jimbo: Because I said 'I dare you.' Kearney, can you read it back? Kearney, reading: Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to.."

Jimbo: The point is, Simpson, a dare has been placed on your nards.

Bart: My nards accept.

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