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Difference between revisions of "A Star Is Burns/Quotes"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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|episode=A_Star_Is_Burns
 
|episode=A_Star_Is_Burns
 
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:''[The Springfielders have a town meeting to discuss improving the town's image and atracting more tourism.  [[Marge]] suggests hosting a [[Springfield Film Festival|film festival]] and having townspeople enter their own movies.]''
 +
:'''[[Mayor Quimby]]''':  "All in favor of Marge Simpson's film festival idea?"
 +
:'''Crowd''': ''[chanting in unison]'' "Film festival!  Film festival!"
 +
:'''Marge''':  "You like my idea?  Actually, I have several others-"
 +
:'''Crowd''': ''[in unison]'' "Don't push your luck!  Don't push your luck!"
 +
 +
<hr width=50%/>
 +
 +
:''[On TV, [[Rainer Wolfcastle]] is appearing on ''[[Coming Attractions]]'', [[Jay Sherman]]'s show.  Wolfacastle talks about his new movie which depicts him as a comedian, alternating between telling bad jokes and dispatching hecklers with various weapons.]''
 +
:'''Wolfcastle''':  "The film is just me in front of a brick wall for an hour and a half.  It cost $80 million."
 +
:'''Jay''':  ''[disgusted]'' "How do you sleep at night?"
 +
:'''Wolfcastle''':  "On top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies."
 +
:'''Jay''':  ''[even more disgusted]'' "Just asking.  Yeesh!"
 +
 +
<hr width=50%/>
 +
 +
:''[At the airport, the Simpsons meet [[Jay Sherman]], who's come to judge the Springfield Film Festival.]''
 +
:'''[[Marge]]''':  "Hello, I'm Marge Simpson, and this is my husband, [[Homer]]."
 +
:'''Jay''':  "Oh, nice to meet you, Marge.  I saw your hair from the plane.  ''[to Homer]''  And this must be the man who didn't know if he had a pimple or a boil."
 +
:'''Homer''':  "It was a Gummi Bear."
 +
 +
<hr width=50%/>
 +
 +
:''[Preparing to make his movie for the film festival, [[Mr. Burns]] meets with [[Señor Spielbergo]], his director.]''
 +
:'''Burns''':  "Listen, Señor Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Spielberg did for Oskar Schindler."
 +
:'''Spielbergo''':  ''[looking doubtful]'' "Er, Schindler es bueno.  Señor Burns es el diablo."
 +
:'''Burns''':  "Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod:  We're both factory workers, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine '''worked''', dammit!  Now go out there and win me that festival!"
 +
 +
<hr width=50%/>
 +
 +
:''[At the Simpson home, [[Jay Sherman]] talks with [[Patty]] and [[Selma]] while [[Homer]] watches.]''
 +
:'''Patty''':  "Okay, Sherman, you're a movie expert."
 +
:'''Selma''':  "So tell us.  Who's gay?"
 +
:'''Jay''':  "Oh, I don't know ... Harvey Fierstein."
 +
:'''Selma''':  "No!"
 +
:'''Patty''':  "Who else?"
 +
:''[Homer whispers into Jay's ear.]''
 +
:'''Jay''':  "Oh.  MacGyver's gay."
 +
:''[Patty and Selma growl and advance on Jay, who cowers from them.  Homer giggles.]''
 +
:''[The scene shifts to outside.  Jay has been stripped to his underwear and is dangling from the rain gutter by the waistband of his shorts.]''
 +
:'''[[Bart]]''': ''[seeing Jay and laughing]'' "You badmouthed MacGyver, didn't you?"
 +
 +
<hr width=50%/>
  
 
:'''[[Dr. Hibbert]]''': [''walking to the movies in drag, then seeing the film festival is being held]'' "Oh, I though they were showing [[wikipedia:The_Rocky_Horror_Picture_Show|The Rocky Horror Picture Show]] tonight."
 
:'''[[Dr. Hibbert]]''': [''walking to the movies in drag, then seeing the film festival is being held]'' "Oh, I though they were showing [[wikipedia:The_Rocky_Horror_Picture_Show|The Rocky Horror Picture Show]] tonight."
 +
 +
<hr width=50%/>
 +
 +
:''[At the film festival, [[Hans Moleman]]'s ''[[Man Getting Hit by Football]]'' has just been shown.]''
 +
:'''[[Homer]]''': ''[laughing to the point of tears]'' "This contest is over!  Give that man the ten thousand dollars!"
 +
:'''[[Jay Sherman]]''': ''[disapprovingly]'' "This '''isn't''' [[wikipedia:America%27s_Funniest_Home_Videos|''America's Funniest Home Videos'']]."
 +
:'''Homer''':  "But ... the ball!  His groin!  It works on so many levels!  ''[still laughing]''  Roll it again!"
  
 
<hr width=50%/>
 
<hr width=50%/>
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<hr width=50%/>
 
<hr width=50%/>
  
:''[A remake of Hans Moleman's movie is an Academy Award contender:]''
+
:''[A remake of [[Hans Moleman]]'s [[Man Getting Hit by Football|movie]] is an Academy Award contender:]''
:'''[[wikipedia:George_C._Scott|George C. Scott]]''': ''[on screen]'' "Ow! My groin!"
+
:'''[[wikipedia:George_C._Scott|George C. Scott]]''': ''[on screen, getting hit by football]'' "Ow! My groin!"
  
 
{{Season 6 Q}}
 
{{Season 6 Q}}
 
[[Category:Quotes]]
 
[[Category:Quotes]]

Revision as of 01:48, June 9, 2010



[The Springfielders have a town meeting to discuss improving the town's image and atracting more tourism. Marge suggests hosting a film festival and having townspeople enter their own movies.]
Mayor Quimby: "All in favor of Marge Simpson's film festival idea?"
Crowd: [chanting in unison] "Film festival! Film festival!"
Marge: "You like my idea? Actually, I have several others-"
Crowd: [in unison] "Don't push your luck! Don't push your luck!"

[On TV, Rainer Wolfcastle is appearing on Coming Attractions, Jay Sherman's show. Wolfacastle talks about his new movie which depicts him as a comedian, alternating between telling bad jokes and dispatching hecklers with various weapons.]
Wolfcastle: "The film is just me in front of a brick wall for an hour and a half. It cost $80 million."
Jay: [disgusted] "How do you sleep at night?"
Wolfcastle: "On top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies."
Jay: [even more disgusted] "Just asking. Yeesh!"

[At the airport, the Simpsons meet Jay Sherman, who's come to judge the Springfield Film Festival.]
Marge: "Hello, I'm Marge Simpson, and this is my husband, Homer."
Jay: "Oh, nice to meet you, Marge. I saw your hair from the plane. [to Homer] And this must be the man who didn't know if he had a pimple or a boil."
Homer: "It was a Gummi Bear."

[Preparing to make his movie for the film festival, Mr. Burns meets with Señor Spielbergo, his director.]
Burns: "Listen, Señor Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Spielberg did for Oskar Schindler."
Spielbergo: [looking doubtful] "Er, Schindler es bueno. Señor Burns es el diablo."
Burns: "Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod: We're both factory workers, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked, dammit! Now go out there and win me that festival!"

[At the Simpson home, Jay Sherman talks with Patty and Selma while Homer watches.]
Patty: "Okay, Sherman, you're a movie expert."
Selma: "So tell us. Who's gay?"
Jay: "Oh, I don't know ... Harvey Fierstein."
Selma: "No!"
Patty: "Who else?"
[Homer whispers into Jay's ear.]
Jay: "Oh. MacGyver's gay."
[Patty and Selma growl and advance on Jay, who cowers from them. Homer giggles.]
[The scene shifts to outside. Jay has been stripped to his underwear and is dangling from the rain gutter by the waistband of his shorts.]
Bart: [seeing Jay and laughing] "You badmouthed MacGyver, didn't you?"

Dr. Hibbert: [walking to the movies in drag, then seeing the film festival is being held] "Oh, I though they were showing The Rocky Horror Picture Show tonight."

[At the film festival, Hans Moleman's Man Getting Hit by Football has just been shown.]
Homer: [laughing to the point of tears] "This contest is over! Give that man the ten thousand dollars!"
Jay Sherman: [disapprovingly] "This isn't America's Funniest Home Videos."
Homer: "But ... the ball! His groin! It works on so many levels! [still laughing] Roll it again!"

Mr. Burns: "Smithers, are they booing me?"
Smithers: "Oh, no, sir. They're saying "Boo-urns, Boo-urns."
Burns: [to crowd] "Are you saying 'boo' or 'Boo-urns'?"
Crowd: "Boooooooooooo!"
Hans Moleman: [to himself] "I was saying 'Boo-urns'."

[The jury members are casting their votes for grand prize at the Springfield Film Festival. Jay Sherman is dismayed that Mr. Burns' movie is drawing votes.]
Jay: "How can you vote for Burns' movie?"
Krusty: "Let's just say it moved me ... TO A BIGGER HOUSE!! Oops, I said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet."

[A remake of Hans Moleman's movie is an Academy Award contender:]
George C. Scott: [on screen, getting hit by football] "Ow! My groin!"

Template:Season 6 Q