Difference between revisions of "The Duffman Cometh!/Quotes"
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| − | + | {{qf|[[Ms. Hoover]]}} Mr. Duffman! We invited you to talk career day to talk about your job. Please stop soaking the children in berr! | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Duffman]]}} Duffman is sorry. He just gets carried away with his love of partying! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Ms. Hoover}} Children, do you have any question for Mr. Duffman? | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Ralph]]}} What superpowers do you have? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Duffman}} The power to drink all night and promote responsible alcohol use all day! Oh yeah! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Ralph}} Can you beat-up Spiderman? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Duffman}} Uh... yeah, sure. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Ralph}} Can you get Spider-Man out pof my nose? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Duffman}} Er.... no. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} I have a question! Was being a beer spokes-mascot what you always wanted to do with your life? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Duffman}} ''[SIGH!]'' No! Duffman had a dream once, but life... life is filed with compromises! Oh yeah! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} What did you want to be? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Duffman}} You'll laugh! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} No, we won't. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Duffman}} A shepherd. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Surly Duff]]}} Hey, what about me? Old Surly's been busin' his hump at Duff Garderns for years! If anyone should get that gig it's me! | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Howard K. Duff VIII]]}} Why are you wearing that outfit on your day off? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Surly}} Surly even refers to himself in the third-person, just like Duffman! What's it to you jerk-face? You want a piece of Surly? | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Lindsey Naegle]]}} You see, Surly, this is hy we keep turning down your application. We need someone with an "in your face attitude", not a "fist in your face attitude." | |
| − | + | {{qf|Surly}} You ain't heard that last of surly! | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} With all his recent good work, truly Homer Simpson's Duffman is Springfield greatest good samaritan. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Ned]]}} Homer? The town's greatest good samaritan? I suppose I have been slacking in my donations to the poor and needy lately. But what to give? What to give? | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} Eureka! Mom! Mom! | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Marge]]}} What is it, Lisa? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} I've been training bees as part of a school science project, and I can mek them do tricks! Let me tell you how I did it! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} Sorry, sweetie, I have to hem your father's outfit, And I just don't have time for your bee story. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Bart]]}} Did you say "b" story? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} No, Lisa's bee story. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} Oh, because in a movie or TV show a "b story" is the less important, secondary plotline. Like say, Lisa training bees. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} Which we just don't have time for right now. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} [SIGH!] They never have time for my b stories. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} You mean your bee stories, Lisa! | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} You're going out agin? But that's every night this week! | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} Sorry, Marge, but the local frat guys having a poolside kegger, and I've got to judge the belly-flop contest! Look, you knew I was Duffman when you married me! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} You weren't Duffman when I married you. You were just plain Homer, and I miss spending time with him! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Marge, I... I... | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} Yes? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} I have to go. | |
| + | |||
{{DEFAULTSORT:Duffman Cometh!/Quotes, The}} | {{DEFAULTSORT:Duffman Cometh!/Quotes, The}} | ||
Revision as of 17:05, July 7, 2020
- Ms. Hoover: Mr. Duffman! We invited you to talk career day to talk about your job. Please stop soaking the children in berr!
- Duffman: Duffman is sorry. He just gets carried away with his love of partying!
- Ms. Hoover: Children, do you have any question for Mr. Duffman?
- Ralph: What superpowers do you have?
- Duffman: The power to drink all night and promote responsible alcohol use all day! Oh yeah!
- Ralph: Can you beat-up Spiderman?
- Duffman: Uh... yeah, sure.
- Ralph: Can you get Spider-Man out pof my nose?
- Duffman: Er.... no.
- Lisa: I have a question! Was being a beer spokes-mascot what you always wanted to do with your life?
- Duffman: [SIGH!] No! Duffman had a dream once, but life... life is filed with compromises! Oh yeah!
- Lisa: What did you want to be?
- Duffman: You'll laugh!
- Lisa: No, we won't.
- Duffman: A shepherd.
- Surly Duff: Hey, what about me? Old Surly's been busin' his hump at Duff Garderns for years! If anyone should get that gig it's me!
- Howard K. Duff VIII: Why are you wearing that outfit on your day off?
- Surly: Surly even refers to himself in the third-person, just like Duffman! What's it to you jerk-face? You want a piece of Surly?
- Lindsey Naegle: You see, Surly, this is hy we keep turning down your application. We need someone with an "in your face attitude", not a "fist in your face attitude."
- Surly: You ain't heard that last of surly!
- Kent Brockman: With all his recent good work, truly Homer Simpson's Duffman is Springfield greatest good samaritan.
- Ned: Homer? The town's greatest good samaritan? I suppose I have been slacking in my donations to the poor and needy lately. But what to give? What to give?
- Lisa: Eureka! Mom! Mom!
- Marge: What is it, Lisa?
- Lisa: I've been training bees as part of a school science project, and I can mek them do tricks! Let me tell you how I did it!
- Marge: Sorry, sweetie, I have to hem your father's outfit, And I just don't have time for your bee story.
- Bart: Did you say "b" story?
- Marge: No, Lisa's bee story.
- Bart: Oh, because in a movie or TV show a "b story" is the less important, secondary plotline. Like say, Lisa training bees.
- Marge: Which we just don't have time for right now.
- Lisa: [SIGH!] They never have time for my b stories.
- Marge: You mean your bee stories, Lisa!
- Marge: You're going out agin? But that's every night this week!
- Homer: Sorry, Marge, but the local frat guys having a poolside kegger, and I've got to judge the belly-flop contest! Look, you knew I was Duffman when you married me!
- Marge: You weren't Duffman when I married you. You were just plain Homer, and I miss spending time with him!
- Homer: Marge, I... I...
- Marge: Yes?
- Homer: I have to go.
