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Difference between revisions of "The Simpsons: Tapped Out New Year New You content update/Gameplay"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
(Survival of the Wellest Pt. 2)
(The Nature to Nurture)
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{{TB|Now, there's only one thing to do with a tub full of leftovers: eating montage! <nowiki>*</nowiki>eating noises<nowiki>*</nowiki>}}
 
{{TB|Now, there's only one thing to do with a tub full of leftovers: eating montage! <nowiki>*</nowiki>eating noises<nowiki>*</nowiki>}}
 
{{THT|'''Task: '''Make Homer Gorge Himself Back Into Homer Shape (4h, Simpson House)<br/>If the user has Marge: '''Task: '''Make Marge Enjoy Buff Homer While She Can (4h, Simpson House)<br/>Quest reward: {{Cash|200}} and {{XP|20}}|colspan=2}}
 
{{THT|'''Task: '''Make Homer Gorge Himself Back Into Homer Shape (4h, Simpson House)<br/>If the user has Marge: '''Task: '''Make Marge Enjoy Buff Homer While She Can (4h, Simpson House)<br/>Quest reward: {{Cash|200}} and {{XP|20}}|colspan=2}}
}}
 
==The Nature to Nurture==
 
===The Nature to Nurture Pt. 1===
 
{{Table|
 
{{THT|After tapping on Mrs. Frink's exclamation mark:|colspan=2}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|For cryin' out glayvin! Give me back that test tube!}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Vicious Monkeys Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Vicious Monkeys}}
 
{{TB|<nowiki>*</nowiki>monkey noises<nowiki>*</nowiki>}}
 
{{Tapped Out Sebastian Cobb Icon}}
 
{{TB|Quick everyone, clear out! Ned Flanders is here!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Stephen Hawking Icon}}
 
{{TB|No — Not — That guy.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Sebastian Cobb Icon}}
 
{{TB|He's leading his biweekly "crimes against nature" crusade!}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|Now?! But I had that in my calendar for next week!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Sebastian Cobb Icon}}
 
{{TB|I'm afraid even we scientists don't understand the meaning of "biweekly"!}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Vicious Monkeys Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Vicious Monkeys}}
 
{{TB|<nowiki>*</nowiki>shrugging noises<nowiki>*</nowiki>}}
 
{{Tapped Out Sebastian Cobb Icon}}
 
{{TB|Ok, I'll take the Monkeys and the Super Soldier Squirrels and you get rid of…you know…THAT.}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Octoparrot Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Octoparrot}}
 
{{TB|<nowiki>*</nowiki>croak<nowiki>*</nowiki>}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|Octoparrot?! I'm not going to let them harm a feather on your head.}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Octoparrot Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Octoparrot}}
 
{{TB|Or tentacle!}}
 
{{THT|'''Task: '''Make Mrs. Frink Rescue Octoparrot (1h, Screaming Monkey Medical Research Center, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research, Frink's Lab, Frink's House or Homes)<br/>If the user has Sebastian Cobb: '''Task: '''Make Sebastian Cobb Wrangle the Monkeys (1h, Screaming Monkey Medical Research Center, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research, Frink's Lab, Frink's House or Homes)<br/>If the user has Ned: '''Task: '''Make Ned Harass Scientists (1h, Screaming Monkey Medical Research Center, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research, Frink's Lab, Frink's House or Homes)|colspan=2}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|Hey honey, I'm home — and I've got a surprise.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|Flayvin do I like a good surprise.}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Octoparrot Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Octoparrot}}
 
{{TB|Flayvin!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|Hoyvin!}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Octoparrot Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Octoparrot}}
 
{{TB|Hoyvin!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|What is with the flipping and the flapping and the repeating—}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|I have to keep Octoparrot hidden in our house for a while.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|But where the glayvin will we put this ink-shooting copy-cat?!}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|The guest bedroom?}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Octoparrot Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Octoparrot}}
 
{{TB|<nowiki>*</nowiki>brawk<nowiki>*</nowiki> Master bedroom!}}
 
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
 
}}
 
===The Nature to Nurture Pt. 2===
 
{{Table|
 
{{THT|After tapping on Mrs. Frink's exclamation mark:|colspan=2}}
 
{{Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|By my calculations, this parrot doesn't just display repetitive behavior, but communicates with advanced avian intelligence.}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Octoparrot Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Octoparrot}}
 
{{TB|Duh! <nowiki>*</nowiki>sprays ink<nowiki>*</nowiki>}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|His octopus DNA makes him smarter than your average bird.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|I still don't recognize his scientific purpose.}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|Octoparrot is just Phase One in our mission to one day merge the DNA of humans and parrots.}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Octoparrot Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Octoparrot}}
 
{{TB|I'm hungry! I'm hungry! I'm hungry!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|He sounds pretty human to me.}}
 
{{THT|'''Task: '''Make Mrs. Frink Try to Feed Octoparrot (4h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes)<br/>If the user has Octoparrot: Make Mrs. Frink Try to Feed Octoparrot (4h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes, Octoparrot)<br/>If the user has Professor Frink: '''Task: '''Make Frink Clean Up Ink-Stains With Lasers (4h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes)<br/>Quest  reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
 
}}
 
===The Nature to Nurture Pt. 3===
 
{{Table|
 
{{THT|After tapping on Mrs. Frink's exclamation mark:|colspan=2}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Octoparrot Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Octoparrot}}
 
{{TB|<nowiki>*</nowiki>burps<nowiki>*</nowiki>}}
 
{{Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|Well, we've learned that this invertebrate bird likes to eat fish.}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|I'm growing to like him as a pet.}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Octoparrot Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Octoparrot}}
 
{{TB|I'm hungry! I'm hungry! <nowiki>*</nowiki>ink spray<nowiki>*</nowiki>}}
 
{{Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|Well, he's good practice before we create our own children.}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|Children... Miniaturize some of your clothes. I have an idea!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|Miniaturize them? But that technology is far too advanced!}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|We get it. You invented the Shrink Ray...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|I did! But my shrink ray is very sensitive. If you shrink something, you can't just zap it back and make it big again.}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|Now that would be something worth investing in.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|<nowiki>*</nowiki>zaps his clothes<nowiki>*</nowiki>}}
 
{{THT|'''Task: '''Make Mrs. Frink Disguise Octoparrot (2h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes)<br/>If the user has Professor Frink: '''Task: '''Make Frink Miniaturize Clothes (2h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes)<br/>Quest  reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
 
}}
 
===The Nature to Nurture Pt. 4===
 
{{Table|
 
{{THT|After tapping on Mrs. Frink's exclamation mark:|colspan=2}}
 
{{Tapped Out Squeaky Voice Teen Icon}}
 
{{TB|Welcome to the Childrarium. How can I help you?}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|I would like to drop my son off to be nurtured and educated while I go get a mani-pedi and feel smugly superior to other parents because I'm paying to give my child a head start.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Squeaky Voice Teen Icon}}
 
{{TB|We really appreciate that kind of honesty here at the Childrarium.}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|I just want the best for my child, Octoparrot.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Squeaky Voice Teen Icon}}
 
{{TB|His name is Octoparrot?}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|Well, we prefer to call him by his nickname: Octo.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Squeaky Voice Teen Icon}}
 
{{TB|All right, Octo. Time for a fun-filled day at the Childrarium!}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Octoparrot Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Octoparrot}}
 
{{TB|<nowiki>*</nowiki>ink spray<nowiki>*</nowiki>}}
 
{{Tapped Out Squeaky Voice Teen Icon}}
 
{{TB|My eyes!}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|He, uh, likes black licorice and sometimes spits at strangers. Sorry.}}
 
{{THT|'''Task: '''Make Mrs. Frink Get a Mani-Pedi (8h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes)<br/>If the user has Squeaky Voice Teen: '''Task: '''Make Squeaky Voice Teen Watch ViewTube While Kids Run Wild (8h, Childrarium, Springfield Gymdandee or Homes)|colspan=2}}
 
{{Tapped Out Squeaky Voice Teen Icon}}
 
{{TB|Welcome back, ma'am. Here's your son and— Oh, one of his mittens came off and OH MY GOD, IS THAT A TENTACLE?!}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|Let's just put that mitten back on and no it wasn't.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Squeaky Voice Teen Icon}}
 
{{TB|I'm pretty sure it was!}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|<nowiki>*</nowiki>zaps with shrink ray<nowiki>*</nowiki> Sorry, but you know too much.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Squeaky Voice Teen Icon}}
 
{{TB|I'm as small as the toddlers now!}}
 
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}|colspan=2}}
 
}}
 
===The Nature to Nurture Pt. 5===
 
{{Table|
 
{{THT|After tapping on Mrs. Frink's exclamation mark:|colspan=2}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|I'm tired of putting in all the work to raise our 8-tentacled crime against nature while you futz around trying to generate cold fusion in your lab!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|I knew Octoparrot would create a divide between us!}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Octoparrot Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Octoparrot}}
 
{{TB|<nowiki>*</nowiki>brawk<nowiki>*</nowiki> I choose neither of you in the divorce!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|I never wanted a genetically-engineered faux-child. That was all you. You HAD to have one, and I supported you in that, but you always knew that I have very important science work.}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|Yeah, doing what? Robotics?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|Robots are the future!}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|You just built another robot bartender didn't you?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|Yes! And Charles can make ice AND serve drinks, thank you very much.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|But by Glayvin's ghost, I can't get him to stop crushing the ice cubelets!}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Robot Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Robot}}
 
{{TB|<nowiki>*</nowiki>crushing noises<nowiki>*</nowiki> Here's your margarita, sir.}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Octoparrot Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Octoparrot}}
 
{{TB|Can I get seven more for each of my tentacles?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Robot Icon}}
 
{{TB|ould you like them with salt, sir?}}
 
{{THT|'''Task: '''Make Mrs. Frink Complain About Frink (5h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes)<br/>If the user has Professor Frink: '''Task: '''Make Frink Work on Robot Bartender (5h, Frink's House, Frink's Lab, Hidden Research Facility, Monsarno Research or Homes)|colspan=2}}
 
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon}}
 
{{TB|Hi-diddly-ho, science-a-reenos!}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|Ned Flanders! Uh, what are you doing here?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon}}
 
{{TB|Everyone in town knows you and Frink are hiding some sort of lab-grown monster.}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|But how? I've been so careful!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon}}
 
{{TB|Well, your octoparrot has been spraying ink all around town.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon}}
 
{{TB|But you can all relax. Some archaeologists just discovered a new stash of early Christian manuscripts — the Deader Sea Scrolls.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon}}
 
{{TB|And in it, there's a new gospel that says abominations are okay as long as they're cute!}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|So our little Octo is safe?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Ned Icon}}
 
{{TB|Who's the cute little octoparrot, who?}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Octoparrot Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Octoparrot}}
 
{{TB|<nowiki>*</nowiki>brawk<nowiki>*</nowiki> Get me away from this weirdo! And from all of you!}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Mrs. Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Mrs. Frink}}
 
{{TB|Octo's right. You belong in this world. Go and be free, little Octo!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Professor Frink Icon}}
 
{{TB|So long, son.}}
 
<!--{{Tapped Out Octoparrot Icon}}
 
{{TB|-->{{TBT|Octoparrot}}
 
{{TB|<nowiki>*</nowiki>brawk<nowiki>*</nowiki> I'll send you a postcard from Rio! <nowiki>*</nowiki>flies away<nowiki>*</nowiki>}}
 
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|200}} and {{XP|20}}|colspan=2}}
 
 
}}
 
}}
 
{{DEFAULTSORT:The Simpsons: Tapped Out New Year New You content update/Gameplay}}
 
{{DEFAULTSORT:The Simpsons: Tapped Out New Year New You content update/Gameplay}}
 
[[Category:The Simpsons: Tapped Out gameplays]]
 
[[Category:The Simpsons: Tapped Out gameplays]]

Revision as of 16:27, January 20, 2021

The Post-Holiday Expansion

After the user logs in on January 20th:
Homer The Holy Trinity of Leftovers: Christmas dinner mixed with Thanksgiving scraps and topped with all the worst Halloween candy!
Bart Oh man, another round of Christmas ham with Jolly Ranchers on top and you'll be muumuu-level fat!
Homer Oooh, muumuu-level! Last time I wore one of those, I got to work from home!
Bart So? Isn't the whole world already working from home?
Homer Nope, we have to keep going into the plant. Mr. Burns convinced the Mayor that the radiation protects us. *takes bite of leftovers*
Marge Homer, stop eating that tri-holiday heart attack!
Homer But if I get fat enough, I could start the New Year with courtside seats next to the leftover dispenser. *looks at fridge*
Marge You have to start losing weight. Don't you want to be around to see the kids grow up?
Homer Not really.
Marge Well, how about this: if you lose ten pounds, I'll put my special Santa outfit on for you.
Homer *intrigued noise*
Lisa Mom! Gross!
Task: Make Homer Agree to Lose Weight (6s, Simpson House)
Homer Okay, fine. It's a deal. I'll lose ten pounds...
Marge Yay!
Homer ...after I finish eating these leftovers. *eating noises*
Marge Look, I'm sure it'll be a challenge, but with hard work and discipline I know you can do it!
Homer *stuffing face with leftovers* I need to gain as much as possible now before I'm officially weighed in.
Bart Where are we going to find a big enough scale?
Homer You might be laughing now, but once I'm ultra-fat, it'll be so easy to slim down to normal fat.
Lisa You know, you'll still have to work out to lose weight.
Homer Or...Dr. Hibbert can surgically remove the ten pounds out of me.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Survival of the Wellest

Survival of the Wellest Pt. 1

After completing The Post-Holiday Expansion:
Dr. Hibbert Hmm. Protracted gut, excessive sweating, the tub of gravy filled with candy corn you're eating...
Dr. Hibbert My diagnosis: you are experiencing a momentary spike of obesity...caused by the mass consumption of holiday leftovers.
Homer All true! So, what wonders of medical science are available for a super overweight person who wants to effortlessly shed a few pounds?
Dr. Hibbert Homer, I can't staple your stomach for a third time. It would kill you.
Homer *moans* Now how am I going to cash in my "buy two get one free" stomach stapling card?
Dr. Hibbert *chuckles* You're holding a Krusty Burger punch card — which as your doctor, I can't allow you to cash in. *takes card*
Homer Well, if you won't help me, maybe Dr. Nick will.
Dr. Nick Homer, my solution is for you to go on a strict diet eating only these experimental meal replacement packs.
Homer How's eating going to help me lose weight?
Dr. Nick They're full of untested chemicals!
Homer Can't argue with chemicals!
Task: Collect Dumbbell [x125]
Task: Make Homer Gorge Himself on Meal Replacement Packs (4h, Simpson House)
Homer Must gorge to lose weight!
Lisa Dad, these meal pack labels are just taped on with Band-Aids. *peels off label*
Homer I don't feel so good.
Lisa That's because you've been eating US Army cavalry horse feed from the Spanish-American War!
Homer *horse neighs* No wonder I've been neighing so much!
Lisa No, you can't eat any more of those!
Homer Haven't you always wanted a pony? *neighs*
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Survival of the Wellest Pt. 2

After completing Survival of the Wellest Pt. 1:
Wiggum Hey Homer, I have to give you a ticket...for speeding!
Homer Man, this day can't get worse...
Wiggum Well, why are you in such a rush?
Homer I've tried every get-thin-quick scheme I could think of: stuffing myself with diet horse feed on the couch while watching endless reruns of the NHL All-Star Skills Challenge...
Homer So, now I'm on my way to Moe's because he does backroom liposuction before noon.
Wiggum You know, me and some of the other…robust fellas in town are heading over to Tab Spangler's Serenity Ranch.
Homer *chuckles* Robust.
Wiggum He's running a "New Year, New You" weight loss special. You should join us!
Homer Fat Camp? No thank you!
Wiggum There's a free all-you-can-eat "welcome guests" buffet tonight…
Homer Mmm...fat camp buffet.
Task: Collect Dumbbell [x125]
Task: Make Homer Rush to Serenity Ranch (4h, Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo or Homes)
Task: Make Gluttons Head to Serenity Ranch [x3] (4h, Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo or Homes)
Tab Spangler Thank you for your patience while filling out these fourteen-page liability release forms.
Homer So that's what I signed!
Comic Book Guy I believe we were promised a free all-you-can-eat buffet?
Homer Yeah, where's my free grub?!
Tab Spangler Don't worry, at Serenity Ranch we deliver on our promises! So let this magnificent feast start you on your road to wellness.
Homer This isn't a feast! It's a bunch of plants...
Barney It's all so green and leafy...
Fat Tony I detect a distinct lack of protein, which leads me to ask: what kind of FAT CAMP IS THIS?
Homer A healthy one!
Wiggum *fires gun* Storm the kitchen!
Camera Man *attacking noises*
Tab Spangler This may be harder than I thought.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Survival of the Wellest Pt. 3

After completing Survival of the Wellest Pt. 2:
Homer You know I don't feel so good. I'm not sure I can handle more wellness training this morning.
Homer Maybe I could just call my wife to come get me…or at least bring me a burger or pizza.
Tab Spangler No dice. The registration forms you signed give me full legal authority to keep you here until you are the peak of physical perfection!
Tab Spangler God I love fine print.
Comic Book Guy You sir, are worse than Loki the trickster god himself!
Tab Spangler Them's the rules and you all signed on the dotted line.
Tapped Out Sakatumi Icon.png *gasp* He can't imprison us! Can he, Chief…?
Wiggum Well, he did say both "legal" and "authority" in the same sentence, and the DA tells me that's the magic word combo that lets me do whatever I want...
Tab Spangler Calm yourselves! Torturing people into shape is a thing of the past. Here at Serenity Ranch, we take a holistic approach to wellness!
Homer I take a holistic approach to eating whatever I want and where I want!
Tab Spangler Well, not anymore.
Task: Collect Dumbbell [x125]
Task: Make Homer Drink a Green Juice (4h, Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo or Homes)
If the user has Sakatumi: Task: Make Sakatumi Meditate on Weight Loss (4h, Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo or Homes)
If the user has Wiggum: Task: Make Wiggum Strike a Yoga Pose (4h, Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo or Homes)
If the user has Quimby: Task: Make Quimby Learn Pilates (4h, Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo or Homes)
Wiggum Am I doing this "downward dog" thing right? I wish the police dog was here to show me how.
Wiggum Ow! I don't think my back bends this way. Or at all.
Quimby Shavasa-whaa?
Comic Book Guy It's "Shavasana". And yes, it's a subpar catchphrase!
Homer Yoga is for moms to meet other moms and show off. We fat dudes should be doing push-ups and karate kicks!
Tab Spangler Since I have the legal authority to keep you all here, you better start learning to love our new wellness program...and that means yoga every morning.
Wiggum *out of breath* Yoga is so much harder than anything I did at the Police Academy! And I had to do that twice!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Survival of the Wellest Pt. 4

After completing Survival of the Wellest Pt. 3:
Homer This is all a waste of time! Plus Lard Lad just released a new bacon donut sandwich! It's two bacon donuts with a bacon donut in the center!
Comic Book Guy The premiere of a new donut and I am missing it! *angry noise*
Homer We've gotta escape this "Serenity" Ranch! If you're with me, put your fat fingers in.
Wiggum Homer, maybe you should just relax and get with the program. All this yoga is making me too tired to fight.
Barney The cop guy is right. Plus, at least we have a steady stream of kombucha to keep us just as drunk as ever. *kombucha belch*
Fat Tony Homer, how do you know you don't like wellness, unless you try it?
Homer *short shriek* You're all traitors to the big and tall!
Task: Collect Dumbbell [x125]
Task: Make Homer Convince Fellow Gluttons to Escape (4h, Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo or Homes)
If the user has Barney: Task: Make Barney Have Another Juice (4h, Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo or Homes)
If the user has Wiggum: Task: Make Wiggum Almost Stretch His Back (4h, Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo or Homes)
Homer Guys, this is just a big scam! We're wasting time and not losing any weight while we keep paying Tab Spangler to live here on this picturesque ranch!
Wiggum Hmm, I wish scamming were illegal, but it's not — so we can't do anything.
Homer What about you, Comic Book Guy? Don't you want to go back home and run your shop?
Homer I bet Bart is stealing all your comics as we speak.
Comic Book Guy Kumiko runs a pretty tight ship thank you very much. But I do miss reading the comics and lamenting about how bad they've all become.
Homer And Sakatumi…wait, why are you even here? Isn't being big kind of your job?
Tapped Out Sakatumi Icon.png I was disqualified from the tour when they found out my sumo diaper was really two sumo diapers tied together!
Quimby Alright, Simpson, you've sold us on the need to get out of here. What's your plan?
Homer I don't have a plan! I'm just the guy who rallies everyone together so that someone else can come up with the plan.
Comic Book Guy Worst. Leader. Ever.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Survival of the Wellest Pt. 5

After completing Survival of the Wellest Pt. 4:
Wiggum Look, Homer, we all want to get out of here now, but face it: we're all too fat and slow.
Comic Book Guy Yeah, Homer, we're not Thors, we're Fat Thors!
Barney The only way out of here is to train until we're all able to climb over that wall and escape.
Homer Hmmm…that's it, Barney! We'll get in shape. And there's only one way to do that...
Barney Stick with the wellness program?
Homer No, a training montage!
Task: Collect Dumbbell [x125]
Task: Make Homer Put Together a Training Montage (4h, Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo or Homes)
Task: Make Gluttons Train in a Training Montage [x3] (4h, Serenity Ranch, Rancho Relaxo or Homes)
Homer *montage music plays* Whoa, look at me dragging giant tires around! I don't even know where those came from!
Barney I think I just did a hundred thousand jumping jacks without breaking a sweat!
Fat Tony *lifting weights* They're going to have to start calling me LEAN TONY!
Homer *stops montage music* Alright, former fatsos, now we're in the best shape of our lives and all it took was 8 minutes of montaging!
Comic Book Guy Let us climb over the wall like Wildlings invading Westeros!
Tab Spangler *slow clap* Excellent work, men! I never wavered from my belief that you'd finally realize what it takes to get in great shape.
Tab Spangler You had to hate being here so much that you'd lose weight just to escape!
Wiggum So he's not a scammer — he's a genius!
Comic Book Guy Worst. Twist. Ever.
Tab Spangler Hey, I still made a buttload of money off you sorry lot.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Post-Holiday Contraction Expansion

After completing Survival of the Wellest Pt. 5:
Homer Honey! Kids! I'm home!
Homer You probably didn't hear me walk in because I'm so light on my feet!
Marge Oooh, Homie! I've never seen you look this thin!
Lisa I'm so proud of you, Dad!
Bart Since you're all good and healthy now, I guess we can throw out our St. Patrick's Day leftovers.
Homer Wait, I was gone for three months?!
Lisa Yeah, how long did you think you were gone?
Bart Okay, throwing out the leftover corned beef and cabbage.
Homer Gimme that festive fridge food! *takes food*
Homer Now, there's only one thing to do with a tub full of leftovers: eating montage! *eating noises*
Task: Make Homer Gorge Himself Back Into Homer Shape (4h, Simpson House)
If the user has Marge: Task: Make Marge Enjoy Buff Homer While She Can (4h, Simpson House)
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20