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Difference between revisions of "Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"/Quotes"
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|22 Short Films About Springfield|Much Apu About Nothing}} | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|22 Short Films About Springfield|Much Apu About Nothing}} | ||
− | :'''[[Abraham Simpson|Grampa]]''' | + | :'''[[Abraham Simpson|Grampa]]:''' Now, my story begins in 19-dickety-two. We had to say "dickety" cause that Kaiser had stolen our word "twenty". I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles… |
− | + | :''(the children laugh)'' | |
− | :'' | + | :'''[[Martin]]:''' Dickety? Highly dubious! |
− | :'''[[Martin]]''' | + | :'''Grampa:''' What're you cackling at, fatty? Too much pie, that's your problem! |
− | :'''Grampa''' | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''[[Bart]]:''' ''(after Grampa spits)'' Grampa! I don't mind when you spit at home, but I have to work with these people. | |
− | :'''[[Bart]]''' | + | :'''Grandpa:''' Oh, jabberjack. Schoolhouse don't put up spittoons, I ain't responsible. ''(spits again)'' |
− | :'''Grandpa''' | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''[[Mrs. Krabappel]]:''' All right, seniors, we'd all love to share in your wisdom, experience, yadda yadda yadda. | |
− | :'''[[Mrs. Krabappel]]''' | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''[[Grandpa Van Houten]]:''' Uh, how many of you have a house? ''(children raise their hands)'' All right, now how many of you drove your house to school today? ''(children raise their hands again, then wake up)'' Well, I did. ''(chuckles)'' No, I'm not Superman; I just own an RV. Me and the new wife travel the country searching for adventure. Last fall, we won a chili cook-off in Beaumont, Texas. | |
− | :'''[[Grandpa Van Houten]]''' | + | :'''Children:''' Wow! |
− | :'''Children''' | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''Grandpa Muntz:''' No, I'm not Superman; I'm a judge. Why, just this morning I sentenced my 46th man to death. Oh... no, 47th. | |
− | :'''Grandpa Muntz''' | + | :'''[[Nelson]]:''' Wow, 47! I love you, Grandpa. |
− | :'''[[Nelson]]''' | + | :'''Grampa:''' Yeah… well, I may not have a fancy black bathrobe and a hammer like Snooty, but I do have slippers and an oatmeal spoon. Look! |
− | :'''Grampa''' | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''Bart:''' ''(back at home)'' And then, he claimed he was the one who turned cats and dogs against each other. Why is he :always making up those crazy stories? | |
− | :'''Bart''' | + | :'''[[Homer]]:''' Maybe it's time we put Grampa in a home. |
− | :'''[[Homer]]''' | + | :'''[[Lisa]]:''' You already put him in a home. |
− | :'''[[Lisa]]''' | + | :'''Bart:''' Maybe it's time we put him in one where he can't get out. |
− | :'''Bart''' | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''[[Mr. Burns]]:''' There, Simpson, seven gone. As soon as you're in your press board coffin, I'll be the sole survivor and the treasure will be mine. | |
− | :'''[[Mr. Burns]]''' | + | :'''Grampa:''' Over my dead body, it will! |
− | :'''Grampa''' | + | :'''Mr. Burns:''' That's precisely the point! Oh, Simpson, can't you go five seconds without humiliating yourself? |
− | :'''Mr. Burns''' | + | :''(Grampa's pants fall down with a "boing" sound.)'' |
− | :(Grampa's pants fall down with a "boing" sound.) | + | :'''Grampa:''' How long was that? |
− | :'''Grampa''' | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''Nurse:''' Abraham Simpson, your family is here to visit you. | |
− | :'''Nurse''' | + | :'''Abe:''' Hot diggity, my family's come to visit me! [runs down the hall] Wait a minute... My family never comes to vi... Whoa! ''(a knife flies at his head)'' |
− | :'''Abe''' | + | :'''Vidal:''' ''(disguised as Homer)'' D'oh! Not again! |
− | :'''Vidal''' | + | :'''Burns:''' ''(disguised as Marge)'' I can't take much more of your blundering numskullery. |
− | :'''Burns''' | + | :'''Smithers:''' ''(disguised as Bart)'' I'll be in the car, dudes. |
− | :'''Smithers''' | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''[[Jasper]]:''' ''(after gunshots are aimed towards Abe)'' Was that me or was that you? | |
− | :'''[[Jasper]]:''' '' | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''Grampa:''' Nurse! Someone's trying to kill me! | |
− | :'''Grampa''' | + | :'''Nurse:''' Okay, we'll do something about that right away. Let's start by doubling your medication! |
− | |||
− | :'''Nurse''' | ||
:[''Vidal comes in, shoots everywhere''] | :[''Vidal comes in, shoots everywhere''] | ||
− | :'''Nurse''' | + | :'''Nurse:''' ''(loads shotgun, and shoots)'' Our residents ''(shoots)'' are trying ''(shoots)'' to nap! ''(shoots)'' |
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''Abe:''' ''(pounding on the door)'' Let me in! Someone's trying to kill me! Sweet merciful McGillicuddy, you gotta open the door! | |
− | :'''Abe''' | + | :'''Homer:''' Who is it? |
− | + | :'''Marge:''' It's Grampa. And it sounds like he's gotten into the horseradish again. | |
− | :'''Homer''' | ||
− | |||
− | :'''Marge''' | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''Abe:''' And then, a knife flew at my head. And [points to Homer] you were there, and [points to Homer] you were there... | |
− | :'''Abe''' | + | :'''Lisa:''' Uh, Grampa, maybe I should moisten your washcloth. |
− | + | :'''Abe:''' It's plenty moist! | |
− | :'''Lisa''' | ||
− | |||
− | :'''Abe''' | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''Marge:''' Where are we going to put him? | |
− | :'''Marge''' | + | :'''Homer:''' Bart's room. |
− | + | :'''Lisa:''' Bart's room. | |
− | :'''Homer''' | + | :'''Marge:''' Bart's room. |
− | + | :'''Bart:''' Dumpster. | |
− | :'''Lisa''' | ||
− | |||
− | :'''Marge''' | ||
− | |||
− | :'''Bart''' | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''Bart:''' Mm-hmm. You bossed around the richest, most powerful guy in town. How come you were a sergeant and he was only a private? | |
− | :'''Bart''' | + | :'''Abe:''' Well... he got busted down for obstructing a probe from J. Edgar Hoover. We got stuck with him. |
− | |||
− | :'''Abe''' | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''Abe:''' ''(yells)'' Don't kill me! | |
− | :'''Abe''' | + | :'''Burns:''' I've tried to meet you halfway on this, Simpson, but you had to be little Johnny Live-a-lot. Now, give me your key to the Hellfish bonanza. |
− | + | :'''Bart:''' Oh, wow! There really is a treasure! Whatever you do, don't give him the key, Grampa. | |
− | :'''Burns''' | + | :'''Abe:''' Here's the key. |
− | + | :'''Bart:''' Aw... figures. | |
− | :'''Bart''' | ||
− | |||
− | :'''Abe''' | ||
− | |||
− | :'''Bart''' | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :''(Mr. Burns plows through Lisa's room in a cherry picker.)'' | |
− | : | + | :'''Burns:''' Terribly sorry. Back to sleep, little girl. |
− | + | :'''Lisa:''' Santa? | |
− | :'''Burns''' | ||
− | |||
− | :'''Lisa''' | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''Abe:''' Ah, I guess Burns is finally gonna be rich. | |
− | :'''Abe''' | + | :'''Bart:''' Not without the keys, he isn't! ''(shows Abe the two keys)'' |
− | + | :'''Abe:''' Hey, you got the keys! | |
− | :'''Bart''' | + | :'''Bart:''' Now we can get the treasure! |
− | + | :'''Abe:''' Oh, what's the use. Burns would still find some way to take it from me. | |
− | :'''Abe''' | + | :'''Bart:''' I can't believe you, Grampa. The sergeant in that story you told would never be scared of a dork like Burns. You gotta get that treasure, you gotta do it for Ox, and Asa, and Griff, and Burnsie... Well, not so much Burnsie. |
− | |||
− | :'''Bart''' | ||
− | |||
− | :'''Abe''' | ||
− | |||
− | :'''Bart''' | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''Bart:''' Hey, Grampa, do you think that dead bodies get up and walk around at night? | |
− | :'''Bart''' | + | :'''Abe:''' If they're anything like me, they have to get up twice. |
− | |||
− | :'''Abe''' | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''Ned:''' ''(to Abe on the boat)'' Well, howdy-doodily, stranger! Couldn't help but notice you're stealing my boat. | |
− | :'''Ned''' | + | :'''Abe:''' I'll bring it back. |
− | + | :'''Ned:''' You ever operated a powerboat? | |
− | :'''Abe''' | + | :'''Abe:''' No. |
− | + | :'''Ned:''' Know anything about water safety? | |
− | :'''Ned''' | + | :'''Abe:''' No! |
− | + | :'''Ned:''' What do you need it for? | |
− | :'''Abe''' | + | :'''Abe:''' It's a secret. |
− | + | :'''Ned:''' Hoo-hoo, sounds spine-tingling-dingling! Just promise you'll have a good time. ''(hands him the keys)'' Maude, boys, come on up! We're gonna have a little camp out in the dingy! | |
− | :'''Ned''' | + | :'''Maude, Rod & Todd:''' Yay! |
− | |||
− | :'''Abe''' | ||
− | |||
− | :'''Ned''' | ||
− | |||
− | :'''Abe''' | ||
− | |||
− | :'''Ned''' | ||
− | |||
− | :'''Maude, Rod & Todd''' | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''Bart:''' Hey, Grampa, do you thing I could've been a Flying Hellfish? | |
− | :'''Bart''' | + | :'''Abe:''' You're a gutsy daredevil with a give-em-hell attitude and a 4th grade education. You could've made sergeant. |
− | |||
− | :'''Abe''' | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''Bart:''' You coward! You're an embarrassment to the name Hellfish. | |
− | :'''Bart''' | + | :'''Burns:''' Oh, am I? ''(aims his gun at Bart)'' |
− | + | :'''Abe:''' No! Look, take the art if you want, just don't hurt the boy. | |
− | :'''Burns''' | + | :'''Burns:''' Hmm... I'd rather do both. ''(kicks Bart in the crate, which tilts over and falls in the sea)'' |
− | |||
− | :'''Abe''' | ||
− | |||
− | :'''Burns''' | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''Bart:''' I'm sorry I cost you your fortune, Grampa. | |
− | :'''Bart''' | + | :'''Abe:''' Oh, the fortune doesn't matter, boy; the important thing is you're safe. Now let's get that fortune! |
− | |||
− | :'''Abe''' | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''Smithers:''' They're gaining on us, sir. We'll have to jettison something. ''(Burns stares at him)'' It's been an honor to serve you, sir. ''(jumps off)'' | |
− | :'''Smithers''' | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''Burns:''' Don't kill me... | |
− | :'''Burns''' | + | :'''Abe:''' I ain't gonna kill ya, that'd be cowardly; Monty Burns cowardly. I just want to watch you squirm. |
− | + | :'''Burns:''' Yes sir. ''(squirms)'' Is this to your liking? | |
− | :'''Abe''' | ||
− | |||
− | :'''Burns''' | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''Agent:''' Baron von Herzenberger, on behalf of the American people, I apologize for... | |
− | :'''Agent''' | + | :'''Baron:''' Ja ja ja, mach schnell mit der art things, huh? I must get back to Dancecentrum in Struttgart in time to see Kraftwerk. ''(the agent is storing the paintings in the trunk)'' |
− | |||
− | :'''Baron''' | ||
− | |||
:Hey, und dummkopf! Watch out for the CD-changer in my trunk, eh? Idiot. | :Hey, und dummkopf! Watch out for the CD-changer in my trunk, eh? Idiot. | ||
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | :'''Abe:''' Oh... I'd hug ya, but I know you'd just get embarrassed. | |
− | :'''Abe''' | + | :'''Bart:''' I won't get embarrassed; I don't care who knows I love my Grampa. ''(both hug)'' |
− | + | :'''Baron:''' Hey, fun boys, get a room! | |
− | :'''Bart''' | ||
− | |||
− | :'''Baron''' | ||
− | |||
{{Season 7 Q}} | {{Season 7 Q}} | ||
[[Category:Quotes]] | [[Category:Quotes]] |
Revision as of 17:11, May 18, 2011
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- Grampa: Now, my story begins in 19-dickety-two. We had to say "dickety" cause that Kaiser had stolen our word "twenty". I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles…
- (the children laugh)
- Martin: Dickety? Highly dubious!
- Grampa: What're you cackling at, fatty? Too much pie, that's your problem!
- Bart: (after Grampa spits) Grampa! I don't mind when you spit at home, but I have to work with these people.
- Grandpa: Oh, jabberjack. Schoolhouse don't put up spittoons, I ain't responsible. (spits again)
- Mrs. Krabappel: All right, seniors, we'd all love to share in your wisdom, experience, yadda yadda yadda.
- Grandpa Van Houten: Uh, how many of you have a house? (children raise their hands) All right, now how many of you drove your house to school today? (children raise their hands again, then wake up) Well, I did. (chuckles) No, I'm not Superman; I just own an RV. Me and the new wife travel the country searching for adventure. Last fall, we won a chili cook-off in Beaumont, Texas.
- Children: Wow!
- Grandpa Muntz: No, I'm not Superman; I'm a judge. Why, just this morning I sentenced my 46th man to death. Oh... no, 47th.
- Nelson: Wow, 47! I love you, Grandpa.
- Grampa: Yeah… well, I may not have a fancy black bathrobe and a hammer like Snooty, but I do have slippers and an oatmeal spoon. Look!
- Bart: (back at home) And then, he claimed he was the one who turned cats and dogs against each other. Why is he :always making up those crazy stories?
- Homer: Maybe it's time we put Grampa in a home.
- Lisa: You already put him in a home.
- Bart: Maybe it's time we put him in one where he can't get out.
- Mr. Burns: There, Simpson, seven gone. As soon as you're in your press board coffin, I'll be the sole survivor and the treasure will be mine.
- Grampa: Over my dead body, it will!
- Mr. Burns: That's precisely the point! Oh, Simpson, can't you go five seconds without humiliating yourself?
- (Grampa's pants fall down with a "boing" sound.)
- Grampa: How long was that?
- Nurse: Abraham Simpson, your family is here to visit you.
- Abe: Hot diggity, my family's come to visit me! [runs down the hall] Wait a minute... My family never comes to vi... Whoa! (a knife flies at his head)
- Vidal: (disguised as Homer) D'oh! Not again!
- Burns: (disguised as Marge) I can't take much more of your blundering numskullery.
- Smithers: (disguised as Bart) I'll be in the car, dudes.
- Jasper: (after gunshots are aimed towards Abe) Was that me or was that you?
- Grampa: Nurse! Someone's trying to kill me!
- Nurse: Okay, we'll do something about that right away. Let's start by doubling your medication!
- [Vidal comes in, shoots everywhere]
- Nurse: (loads shotgun, and shoots) Our residents (shoots) are trying (shoots) to nap! (shoots)
- Abe: (pounding on the door) Let me in! Someone's trying to kill me! Sweet merciful McGillicuddy, you gotta open the door!
- Homer: Who is it?
- Marge: It's Grampa. And it sounds like he's gotten into the horseradish again.
- Abe: And then, a knife flew at my head. And [points to Homer] you were there, and [points to Homer] you were there...
- Lisa: Uh, Grampa, maybe I should moisten your washcloth.
- Abe: It's plenty moist!
- Marge: Where are we going to put him?
- Homer: Bart's room.
- Lisa: Bart's room.
- Marge: Bart's room.
- Bart: Dumpster.
- Bart: Mm-hmm. You bossed around the richest, most powerful guy in town. How come you were a sergeant and he was only a private?
- Abe: Well... he got busted down for obstructing a probe from J. Edgar Hoover. We got stuck with him.
- Abe: (yells) Don't kill me!
- Burns: I've tried to meet you halfway on this, Simpson, but you had to be little Johnny Live-a-lot. Now, give me your key to the Hellfish bonanza.
- Bart: Oh, wow! There really is a treasure! Whatever you do, don't give him the key, Grampa.
- Abe: Here's the key.
- Bart: Aw... figures.
- (Mr. Burns plows through Lisa's room in a cherry picker.)
- Burns: Terribly sorry. Back to sleep, little girl.
- Lisa: Santa?
- Abe: Ah, I guess Burns is finally gonna be rich.
- Bart: Not without the keys, he isn't! (shows Abe the two keys)
- Abe: Hey, you got the keys!
- Bart: Now we can get the treasure!
- Abe: Oh, what's the use. Burns would still find some way to take it from me.
- Bart: I can't believe you, Grampa. The sergeant in that story you told would never be scared of a dork like Burns. You gotta get that treasure, you gotta do it for Ox, and Asa, and Griff, and Burnsie... Well, not so much Burnsie.
- Bart: Hey, Grampa, do you think that dead bodies get up and walk around at night?
- Abe: If they're anything like me, they have to get up twice.
- Ned: (to Abe on the boat) Well, howdy-doodily, stranger! Couldn't help but notice you're stealing my boat.
- Abe: I'll bring it back.
- Ned: You ever operated a powerboat?
- Abe: No.
- Ned: Know anything about water safety?
- Abe: No!
- Ned: What do you need it for?
- Abe: It's a secret.
- Ned: Hoo-hoo, sounds spine-tingling-dingling! Just promise you'll have a good time. (hands him the keys) Maude, boys, come on up! We're gonna have a little camp out in the dingy!
- Maude, Rod & Todd: Yay!
- Bart: Hey, Grampa, do you thing I could've been a Flying Hellfish?
- Abe: You're a gutsy daredevil with a give-em-hell attitude and a 4th grade education. You could've made sergeant.
- Bart: You coward! You're an embarrassment to the name Hellfish.
- Burns: Oh, am I? (aims his gun at Bart)
- Abe: No! Look, take the art if you want, just don't hurt the boy.
- Burns: Hmm... I'd rather do both. (kicks Bart in the crate, which tilts over and falls in the sea)
- Bart: I'm sorry I cost you your fortune, Grampa.
- Abe: Oh, the fortune doesn't matter, boy; the important thing is you're safe. Now let's get that fortune!
- Smithers: They're gaining on us, sir. We'll have to jettison something. (Burns stares at him) It's been an honor to serve you, sir. (jumps off)
- Burns: Don't kill me...
- Abe: I ain't gonna kill ya, that'd be cowardly; Monty Burns cowardly. I just want to watch you squirm.
- Burns: Yes sir. (squirms) Is this to your liking?
- Agent: Baron von Herzenberger, on behalf of the American people, I apologize for...
- Baron: Ja ja ja, mach schnell mit der art things, huh? I must get back to Dancecentrum in Struttgart in time to see Kraftwerk. (the agent is storing the paintings in the trunk)
- Hey, und dummkopf! Watch out for the CD-changer in my trunk, eh? Idiot.
- Abe: Oh... I'd hug ya, but I know you'd just get embarrassed.
- Bart: I won't get embarrassed; I don't care who knows I love my Grampa. (both hug)
- Baron: Hey, fun boys, get a room!