Difference between revisions of "A Star Is Burns/Quotes"
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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| − | :''[The Springfielders have a town meeting to discuss improving the town's image and | + | :''[The Springfielders have a town meeting to discuss improving the town's image and attracting more tourism. [[Marge]] suggests hosting a [[Springfield Film Festival|film festival]] and having townspeople enter their own movies.]'' |
:'''[[Mayor Quimby]]''': "All in favor of Marge Simpson's film festival idea?" | :'''[[Mayor Quimby]]''': "All in favor of Marge Simpson's film festival idea?" | ||
:'''Crowd''': ''[chanting in unison]'' "Film festival! Film festival!" | :'''Crowd''': ''[chanting in unison]'' "Film festival! Film festival!" | ||
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:''[On TV, [[Rainier Wolfcastle]] is appearing on ''[[Coming Attractions]]'', [[Jay Sherman]]'s show. Wolfcastle talks about his new movie which depicts him as a comedian, alternating between telling bad jokes and dispatching hecklers with various weapons.]'' | :''[On TV, [[Rainier Wolfcastle]] is appearing on ''[[Coming Attractions]]'', [[Jay Sherman]]'s show. Wolfcastle talks about his new movie which depicts him as a comedian, alternating between telling bad jokes and dispatching hecklers with various weapons.]'' | ||
:'''Wolfcastle''': "The film is just me in front of a brick wall for an hour and a half. It cost $80 million." | :'''Wolfcastle''': "The film is just me in front of a brick wall for an hour and a half. It cost $80 million." | ||
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:''[At the airport, the Simpsons meet [[Jay Sherman]], who's come to judge the Springfield Film Festival.]'' | :''[At the airport, the Simpsons meet [[Jay Sherman]], who's come to judge the Springfield Film Festival.]'' | ||
:'''[[Marge]]''': "Hello, I'm Marge Simpson, and this is my husband, [[Homer]]." | :'''[[Marge]]''': "Hello, I'm Marge Simpson, and this is my husband, [[Homer]]." | ||
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:''[Preparing to make his movie for the film festival, [[Mr. Burns]] meets with [[Señor Spielbergo]], his director.]'' | :''[Preparing to make his movie for the film festival, [[Mr. Burns]] meets with [[Señor Spielbergo]], his director.]'' | ||
:'''Burns''': "Listen, Señor Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Spielberg did for Oskar Schindler." | :'''Burns''': "Listen, Señor Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Spielberg did for Oskar Schindler." | ||
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:''[At the Simpson home, [[Jay Sherman]] talks with [[Patty]] and [[Selma]] while [[Homer]] watches.]'' | :''[At the Simpson home, [[Jay Sherman]] talks with [[Patty]] and [[Selma]] while [[Homer]] watches.]'' | ||
:'''Patty''': "Okay, Sherman, you're a movie expert." | :'''Patty''': "Okay, Sherman, you're a movie expert." | ||
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:'''[[Dr. Hibbert]]''': ''[walking to the movies in drag, then seeing the film festival is being held]'' "Oh, I thought they were showing [[wikipedia:The_Rocky_Horror_Picture_Show|The Rocky Horror Picture Show]] tonight." | :'''[[Dr. Hibbert]]''': ''[walking to the movies in drag, then seeing the film festival is being held]'' "Oh, I thought they were showing [[wikipedia:The_Rocky_Horror_Picture_Show|The Rocky Horror Picture Show]] tonight." | ||
| − | <hr width=50%/> | + | <hr width=50%/>:''[At the film festival, [[Hans Moleman]]'s ''[[Man Getting Hit by Football]]'' has just been shown.]'' |
| − | :''[At the film festival, [[Hans Moleman]]'s ''[[Man Getting Hit by Football]]'' has just been shown.]'' | ||
:'''[[Homer]]''': ''[laughing to the point of tears]'' "This contest is over! Give that man the ten thousand dollars!" | :'''[[Homer]]''': ''[laughing to the point of tears]'' "This contest is over! Give that man the ten thousand dollars!" | ||
:'''[[Jay Sherman]]''': ''[disapprovingly]'' "This '''isn't''' [[wikipedia:America's_Funniest_Home_Videos|''America's Funniest Home Videos'']]." | :'''[[Jay Sherman]]''': ''[disapprovingly]'' "This '''isn't''' [[wikipedia:America's_Funniest_Home_Videos|''America's Funniest Home Videos'']]." | ||
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:'''[[Mr. Burns]]''': "Smithers, are they booing me?" | :'''[[Mr. Burns]]''': "Smithers, are they booing me?" | ||
:'''[[Smithers]]''': "Oh, no, sir. They're saying "Boo-urns, Boo-urns." | :'''[[Smithers]]''': "Oh, no, sir. They're saying "Boo-urns, Boo-urns." | ||
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:''[The jury members are casting their votes for grand prize at the [[Springfield Film Festival]]. [[Jay Sherman]] is dismayed that [[Mr. Burns]]' movie is drawing votes.]'' | :''[The jury members are casting their votes for grand prize at the [[Springfield Film Festival]]. [[Jay Sherman]] is dismayed that [[Mr. Burns]]' movie is drawing votes.]'' | ||
:'''Jay''': "How can you vote for Burns' movie?" | :'''Jay''': "How can you vote for Burns' movie?" | ||
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:''[A remake of [[Hans Moleman]]'s [[Man Getting Hit by Football|movie]] is an Academy Award contender:]'' | :''[A remake of [[Hans Moleman]]'s [[Man Getting Hit by Football|movie]] is an Academy Award contender:]'' | ||
:'''[[wikipedia:George_C._Scott|George C. Scott]]''': ''[on screen, getting hit by football]'' "Ow! My groin!" | :'''[[wikipedia:George_C._Scott|George C. Scott]]''': ''[on screen, getting hit by football]'' "Ow! My groin!" | ||
Revision as of 02:08, June 9, 2010
- [The Springfielders have a town meeting to discuss improving the town's image and attracting more tourism. Marge suggests hosting a film festival and having townspeople enter their own movies.]
- Mayor Quimby: "All in favor of Marge Simpson's film festival idea?"
- Crowd: [chanting in unison] "Film festival! Film festival!"
- Marge: "You like my idea? Actually, I have several others--"
- Crowd: [in unison, cutting her off] "Don't push your luck! Don't push your luck!"
- [On TV, Rainier Wolfcastle is appearing on Coming Attractions, Jay Sherman's show. Wolfcastle talks about his new movie which depicts him as a comedian, alternating between telling bad jokes and dispatching hecklers with various weapons.]
- Wolfcastle: "The film is just me in front of a brick wall for an hour and a half. It cost $80 million."
- Jay: [disgusted] "How do you sleep at night?"
- Wolfcastle: "On top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies."
- Jay: [even more disgusted] "Just asking. Yeesh!"
- [At the airport, the Simpsons meet Jay Sherman, who's come to judge the Springfield Film Festival.]
- Marge: "Hello, I'm Marge Simpson, and this is my husband, Homer."
- Jay: "Oh, nice to meet you, Marge. I saw your hair from the plane. [to Homer] And this must be the man who didn't know if he had a pimple or a boil."
- Homer: "It was a Gummi Bear."
- [Preparing to make his movie for the film festival, Mr. Burns meets with Señor Spielbergo, his director.]
- Burns: "Listen, Señor Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Spielberg did for Oskar Schindler."
- Spielbergo: [looking doubtful] "Er, Schindler es bueno. Señor Burns es el diablo."
- Burns: "Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod: We're both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked, dammit! Now go out there and win me that festival!"
- [At the Simpson home, Jay Sherman talks with Patty and Selma while Homer watches.]
- Patty: "Okay, Sherman, you're a movie expert."
- Selma: "So tell us. Who's gay?"
- Jay: "Oh, I don't know ... Harvey Fierstein."
- Selma: "No!"
- Patty: "Who else?"
- [Homer whispers into Jay's ear.]
- Jay: "Oh. MacGyver's gay."
- [Patty and Selma growl and advance on Jay, who cowers from them. Homer giggles.]
- [The scene shifts to outside. Jay has been stripped to his underwear and is dangling from the rain gutter by the waistband of his shorts.]
- Bart: [seeing Jay and laughing] "You badmouthed MacGyver, didn't you?"
- Dr. Hibbert: [walking to the movies in drag, then seeing the film festival is being held] "Oh, I thought they were showing The Rocky Horror Picture Show tonight."
:[At the film festival, Hans Moleman's Man Getting Hit by Football has just been shown.]
- Homer: [laughing to the point of tears] "This contest is over! Give that man the ten thousand dollars!"
- Jay Sherman: [disapprovingly] "This isn't America's Funniest Home Videos."
- Homer: "But ... the ball! His groin! It works on so many levels! [still laughing] Roll it again!"
- Mr. Burns: "Smithers, are they booing me?"
- Smithers: "Oh, no, sir. They're saying "Boo-urns, Boo-urns."
- Burns: [to crowd] "Are you saying 'boo' or 'Boo-urns'?"
- Crowd: "Boooooooooooo!"
- Hans Moleman: [to himself] "I was saying 'Boo-urns'."
- [The jury members are casting their votes for grand prize at the Springfield Film Festival. Jay Sherman is dismayed that Mr. Burns' movie is drawing votes.]
- Jay: "How can you vote for Burns' movie?"
- Krusty: "Let's just say it moved me ... TO A BIGGER HOUSE!! Oops, I said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet."
- [A remake of Hans Moleman's movie is an Academy Award contender:]
- George C. Scott: [on screen, getting hit by football] "Ow! My groin!"
