Today's Astrology Forecast for Springfield/Quotes
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- Homer: I'll show you exact change!
- Chief Wiggum: That's some good back-up there, Lou.
- Lou: Thanks, Chief!
- Selma Bouvier: Says here this is a place for sacrificing virgins. Hmmmm, could be our lucky day.
- Patty Bouvier: Maybe I should have shaved my legs back at the hotel.
- Apu: Welcome to Kwik-E-Mart's celebration of the holy day of Vishnu! All items are 5% off if you know who Vishnu is, otherwise we add 5%.
- Mayor Quimby: Thank you, fellow Lion members, for electing me your king for another term. I promise to fulfill the obligations of office, eh, whatever those may be, with the highest sense of pride, honour, and diligence. Now, eh, bring on the strippers!
- Principal Skinner: If I didn't have to take Mother to the market immediately after school today, someone would be in for a world of detention.
- Marge: Hmmm, this melon is lumpy, lop-sided and soft. But it's on sale, so I'll take it.
- Snake Jailbird: All right, dude! It's the first prison riot of the season!
- Bart: The right angle, the right aim, and Martin Prince pulling weeds. It don't get any better than this!
- Lisa: Mom? Dad? I think Bart locked the pen! Hello? Anyone? Typical!
- Moe Szyslak: Durin' happy hour at Moe's, drinks are absolutely free, of course. If you wanna use the can, that there's twenty bucks.
- Horatio McCallister: Arrg! There's a lesson to be learned here, I'm sure of it!
