The Perplexing Puzzle of the Springfield Puma/Quotes

Quotes

Principal Skinner: How goes our little experiment in preemptive punishment, Ms. Krabappel?

Edna Krabappel: I'm not sure who it's punishing more—Bart or me.

Principal Skinner: Good, good carry on.

Edna: (GASP!)

Bart: Aye carumba!

Edna: Someone's stolen the puma!

Groundskeeper Willie: Ach!

Edna: This is terrible! Skinner is almost as fixated on that puma as he is on his mother! If we don't find it before he comes back, there'll be hell to pay! He'll have me transferred to the [shudder] East Springfield Vocational Traning School! Well, if I have to go, I'm not taking the fall alone! Come on, Willie! We've got 24 hours --- let's fimd that puma!

Willie: Arr... ye could na' find...

Wendell Borton: Hey, you!

Bart: Huh? Wendell! What th --?!

Wendell: The fat boy wants to see ya, pal—yer comin' wit' me!

Bart: Says who --?! [ULP!]

Wendell: Says my pal Roscoe here! Make up yer mind quick—my trigger finger's gettin' Itchy!

Bart: Oh, man! The cheaper the crook, the gaudier the patteer—whatever that means!

Bart: ...so if I help Martin find the puma, i'll be going up against Jimbo! but if the statue isn't found by the time Skinner gets back tomorrow! i'll be doing detention till I'm 80!

Lisa: Well, Bart, someday you'd have to learn that your actions have consequences! Perhaps this is the day

Bart: Lisa, I didn't come to you to hear about learning stuff! Don't you understand? I didn't do it!

Lisa: Come on, Bart—nobody's laughing at that one anymore! You've used up every ploy in the book to avoid taking responsibility for yourself. Why should I believe you now?

Bart: Lisa, this is your only brother talking. I'm in trouble and I need your help! Please?

Lisa: Wow. Raw, emotional honesty—the one ploy you haven't overused! You even said the magic word! Okay, Bart! Come on, the game is afoot!

Edna: All right, Bart—this is your last chance! Principal Skinner will be back any minute—what have you done with that puma?!

Bart: I didn't...

Lisa: Wait! Bart isn't the only suspect here, Ms. Krabappel.

Edna: Well, which one of these hooligans was it, then?

Lisa: It could be any of them, or none of them. It could even have been... ...you, ms. Krabappel!