Ralph the Haiku Genius/Quotes
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- Lisa: A child's imagination should be given wings!
- Ms. Hoover: Whatever.
- Fern: Hello, children! My name is Fern, and I'll be your substitute art teacher today! Cool? Cool! Today we're making piñatas... so everyone please take out your safety scissors! You're Ralph, right? Your teacher said you needed some special supplies...
- Ralph Wiggum: Hi! My name is Ralph! My shoes are on the wrong feet. Will you be my friend?
- Ralph: You're not Miss Hoover! I think I ate a button. My cat hates showers.
- Fern: Five syllables, then seven, then five again! Could it be...?
- Fern: ...And I'm telling you that this boy is a genius! He speaks only in haiku!
- Ralph: I like to eat lunch. Principal Skinner is nice. This isn't my house!
- Krusty: Now, Ralph, a lot of people are calling you the most exciting American poet since Kerouac...
- Ralph: You're a funny clown. I got sick in the limo. Your monkey smells bad.
- Krusty: Searing, truthful words, my friend. The guest is Ralph Wiggum. The book is called, My Cat Hates Showers. We'll be back with Maya Angelou after this brief message.
- Fern: I'm sorry, Ralph, but I must leave you. I've found a child in Shelbyville who only speaks in limericks!
- Ralph: Your hat is funny. My movie offer fell through. Cat food tastes like fish!
