LifeBoat
LifeBoat
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Company Information
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LifeBoat is a company started by Persephone Odair. The goal of the company was to create devices that could purify salt water.
History[edit]
Persephone Odair created LifeBoat after she was inspired by her grandfather, who died of dehydration when he was stuck on a lifeboat in the ocean, surrounded by non-drinkable water. However, she needed funding for the project and went to Mr. Burns to try and convince him. Burns eventually agreed after hearing that they could take down "big salt water" together. Burns then gave a cooling tower over to LifeBoat and reassigned the staff of Sector 7-G over to LifeBoat. He also brought his rich friends on to help out the company.
LifeBoat was going well and they eventually had a prototype to show the board of directors. However, they weren't allowed to drink it because competitors could steal the technology from their urine. Eventually, the company started going through issues with people getting fired, Professor Frink not being allowed to see what was inside the device, and Carl Carlson went missing after emailing Persephone with his concerns. The Internet started turning against LifeBoat and Persephone, so Mr. Burns bought Twitter.
After the company behind the documentary Driven to Drink: The LifeBoat Story was bought out by Mr. Burns, the documentary started going in a more positive light. However, several other documentaries started popping up about LifeBoat, including Salt You Need Is Love, On Thin Ice: The LifeBoat Naming Rights Scandal, and LifeBoat: Abandon Ship. LifeBoat: Abandon Ship in particular followed the drama surrounding the company and found out that Carl had been blackmailed by Persephone into working on the LifeBoat machines in secret. Carl got in touch with Homer, who became a whistleblower within the company. Carl revealed to Homer and Lisa that the LifeBoat machines used a chemical from Jab soda, called Jab-a-tose, to mask the taste of the salt in the water it produced, without actually removing the salt.
When LifeBoat was going to have its first public test in Springfield Elementary School, Homer confronted Mr. Burns and convinced him that the LifeBoat machines didn't work as intended and that Persephone was a fraud. Burns saw that Homer was right and stopped Persephone, as Homer turned off the valve to the water fountains. Persephone was then arrested and sent to prison and Burns divorced her. However, Persephone still believed that things couldn't be better for LifeBoat.
Employees[edit]
Employees for LifeBoat include:
Board of directors[edit]
- Persephone Odair, Founder and Status Quo Demolitionist.
- Charles Montgomery Burns, Chief Change Alchemist.
- Bill Belichick
- Rainier Wolfcastle
- George W. Bush
- Jeff Bezos
- Augustus Redfield
Other employees[edit]
- Waylon Smithers, Jr., Purposefulness Warlock.
- Carl Carlson, Braindump Magician.
- Lenny Leonard, Storytelling Ninja.
- Homer Simpson, Competency Rockstar.
- Jonathan Frink, Chief Engineer of Inside the Machine.
Appearances[edit]
LifeBoat
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| Owners | ||
| Charles Montgomery Burns • Persephone Odair | ||
| Board of Directors | ||
| Bill Belichick • Jeff Bezos • George W. Bush • Augustus Redfield • Rainier Wolfcastle | ||
| Other Employees | ||
| Carl Carlson • Jonathan Frink • Lenny Leonard • Homer Simpson • Waylon Smithers, Jr. | ||
| Documentaries | ||
| Driven to Drink: The LifeBoat Story • LifeBoat: Abandon Ship • On Thin Ice: The LifeBoat Naming Rights Scandal | ||
| Other | ||
| Jab | ||
