| Greek to Me
| Comic Story information
Greek to Me is a Simpsons Comics story featured in Simpsons Comics #70.
Homer (pretending to be blind) is telling stories of the Gods to a group of Greek children.
When Hera (Marge) finds out Zeus (Homer) has an illegitimate son called Hercules (Bart), she sets Hercules 12 labors to complete. The first is to kill the Hydra (Snake), which grows two heads for every one cut off. Hercules defeats it by making it argue over who will rob him. Then he has to clean the Augean Stables, where he convinces a rich Greek (Mr. Burns) that gold is worthless and that dung is valuable. He then deals with the various creatures he is tasked to capture by getting Hermes (Milhouse) to send an animal welfare group to catch them as they don't have a license and may be rabid. Hercules then returns to Hera with only 10 of the tasks complete. Hercules decides that that Hera would much better suit Zeus's position and so she takes this role, only to cause havock to those down on Earth through constant nagging.
The Hades You Say
Hades (Homer) is on trial for kidnapping Persephone (Marge) with Athena (Lisa) serving as judge. Hades claims that he forced Persephone into the underworld solely for a date. However Persephone reveals that the date went badly due to the undead waiter, amnesia-inducing water from the River Lethe and rough dancing from Hades. Because of the flawed legal system, Hades is cleared of all charges while Persephone is sentenced to six months every year with Hades after eating his pomegranates. Persephone gets revenge on society by introducing the season of Winter.
Medusa (Selma) has been turning men into stone through second-hand smoking produced by her snake-hair. Perseus (Bart) hits the king (Principal Skinner) with his skateboard. The king orders him to bring the head of Medusa as a community service punishment. Perseus is able to catch Medusa by distracting her snakes with hamsters. Instead of beheading her, Perseus brings her alive to the king after he discovers the two used to date. The king proposes to her but by the time their wedding arrives, the king has been turned to stone much to Medusa's delight.
At the end of his stories, Homer discovers that everyone has already lost interest and is instead listening to Aesop's (Ned Flanders) fables. Homer goes to the bar and meets Zeus who is in the form of a swan.
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