Freezer Burns/Quotes
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- Kent Brockman: And now, with further proof that this is the coldest winter in Springfield history, our own Channel Six weekend weatherman... This just in... Channel Six's weatherman was found dead in his apartment today, a victim of hypothermia. Pretty extreme way to prove how cold it is. But then, Fritz was always a show off.
- Marge: Homer, I can't turn on the stove. Our gas line must be frozen. Please let me turn up the heat.
- Homer: No. Our power bill was outrageous last month. I thought it was our phone bill.
- Marge: You thought it was our phone number.
- Mr. Burns: Know that these "rolling freeze-outs" are largely the result of power plant mismanagement...
- Bart: This won't stand! My dad works at that plant, and he'll do something!
- Mr. Burns: ...Caused by an employee in sector 7G who hasn't been to work because he didn't want to get out of bed this week.
- Bart: Never mind.
- Mr. Burns: Nevertheless, in keeping with the great American tradition of corporate greed...
- Moe Szyslak: The man's a true patriot.
- Mr. Burns: ...I will make unlimited heat available from warm, safe nuclear power at a mere 500% markup.
- Moe: What?! That's nearly double!
- Barney Gumble: Can I haf some wahm beer?
- Krusty: It was so cold, my lawyer had his hands in his own pockets!!
- Mayor Quimby: Thank you, Krispy the Clown, for that noble attempt at a "warm-up" act.
- Krusty: It's "Krusty," and you should know something about hot air.
- Mayor Quimby: So... er... ah... what should we do about Mr. Burns?
- Lenny Leonard: Light him on fire.
- Carl Carlson: Warm ourselves on his funeral pyre!
- Reverend Lovejoy: People, people... in a moment of crisis we must turn to the Bible, Mark, Chapter 15, Verse 13.
- Ned Flanders: He's right. "Crucify him!"
- Mayor Quimby: If there's one thing we can count on in this town, it's an angry mob. To the Power Plant!
- Lisa: Mr. Burns, we understand your need to gouge and overcharge, but think of the children and the elderly.
- Mr. Burns: Well, I do have a soft spot in my heart for the elderly.
- Lisa: So you'll make affordable power available to them and anyone else who can stand to be in the same room with them?
- Mr. Burns: No, I'll just have that soft spot looked at by my favorite surgeon in Martinique.
