| Everything's Bartchie!
| Comic Story information
Comic Book Guy is visiting a fair. He visits a fortune teller and allows her to tell him the future for $10. He falls asleep with a copy of Archie over his face as she does so. Barchie and Jughouse are at Apop eating burgers. Mouse comes and warns them not to flirt with his girlfriend, Smidge. Barchie then asks who Smidge is and Mouse points her out. They promise not to flirt with her. During this time, Barchie meets up with his girlfriend, Terri she had her hair done and they decide to go see a movie on Friday. Terri walks off to the bathroom. Again Barchie sees Terri and she invites him on a date to the cinema on Friday. The former Terri turns out to be her cousin Sherronica who has just moved to Springdale. When Barchie and Jughouse leave the restaurant, they discover that Apop had not paid the rent, so they plan to demolish it to build a nuclear power plant. Apop has one week before they tear the place down. Barchie sees an ad for a music competition where $5000 is the first prize and he says that he can win it and give Apop the money. Apop is overjoyed and gives Barchie The Bingoes' musical instruments he had in the storage. Barchie creates a band with Jughouse, Terri and a school bully, Wedige, who likes to gives wedgies. The teens soon decide to name themselves The Bartchies.
Barchie must decide when the two dates should take place and at what time. He tells Jughouse, who says he never goes out on dates. Shortly after a woman who loves mustard and onions hits on Jughouse. Barchie leaves and walks up Memory Lane and discovers what it would be like if he was married to Terri and Sherri before checking out a future where a dog would be the president. Barchie is then chased away from the road by Bender as he had looked too far into the future. It is time for the music competition, Springdale Battle of the Bands. All music artists are good and they realize that they can lose the contest, but Barchie decides to sabotage the others so only the Bartchies are the only ones who can make a contribution and will automatically be the winners.
The Bartchies win and they give the money to Apop, but he tells them that the plan to demolish it is still on. The owner's daughter, Sherronica, persuades them not to tear it down, but the driver misunderstands and begins to tear it down. Barchie run to the building to save it and destroy the stone crusher. He becomes a superhero and saves the building. It turns out that his sister, Librina, had studied witchcraft and turned him into a superhero. Sherri and Terri began to cheer on Barchie and it turns out that they both have a date with Barchie on Friday and they start beating him down. They succeed because the transformation that gave him superhero powers was only temporary. Comic Book Guy wakes up at night and the fortune teller had gone home. He realizes that it was a dream, but after Jimbo gives him a wedgie he wonders if it really is to be the future.