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The Heist Before Christmas/Quotes

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< The Heist Before Christmas
Revision as of 11:07, May 15, 2021 by SolarBot (talk | contribs) (top)
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Fat Tony: Ahh. The proverbial gang is all here.
Principal Skinner: Homer? How did you get roped into this?
Homer: Shhh! Don't use my name. I want to keep my identity a secret.
Duffman: Completely agree! Oh yeah!
Fat Tony: Gentleman. For differing reasons, you are all firmly in my debt. And I have decided to call in all these favors at once. To assemble a team.

Fat Tony: Duffman, I presume?
Duffman: Nope. Just Joel Duffkowski. Average Joe and Weekend Warrior.
Fat Tony: Whatever moniker you may be using, I am in possession of photographs. Photos of you... drinking a Fudd beer!
Duffman: Duffman's greatest disgrace! Oh no! It was the Special Edition Fudd Sugarplum. Normally Duff has the upper hand, but those Fudd holiday brews are heavenly!
Fat Tony: It would be unfortunate if Duff should learn about their spokesman's true loyalties... you are an icon. And that is a very valuable skill...

Snake Jailbird: Yoink!
Homer: How are you so smooth when stealing?
Snake: Cause I got a peaceful easy feeling.

Principal Skinner: I believe this settles all of our respective debts.
Fat Tony: Very nice, gentleman. Ahh, yes. There it is. The Special Edition Turbo Radioactive Man Action figure!
Homer: The what?

Homer: Let me get this straight. We did all of this for a doll?
Fat Tony: Hardly. For eleven months out of the year, I crack kneecaps and bust skulls, motivated purely by greed and/or spite. But this time of the year, I only wish to spread holiday cheer. And isn't that why you all fell into my debt? Your debts are forgiven. So, please, let us all enjoy this special time... ...before we return to the less festive, kneecapping months.
Homer: [GULP!]