Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass/Quotes

General

References/Trivia

Appearances

Gags

Credits

Quotes

	Season 16 Episode Quotes
← 342 "Mommie Beerest"	343 "Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass"	"Pranksta Rap" 344 →

Homer: (singing, after beating Bart in the game) "I'm number one! I beat my son! Victory is mine! So kiss my behind!" (scutting and grunting at Bart) "In your face!" (starts dancing)

---

Tom Brady: "Everyone sucks but me."

---

Burns: What would you use instead of Nuclear power?

Marge: Solar.

Lenny: Hydroelectric.

Moe: A mix of conservation and wind.

Burns: Who told you about those?

Carl:' The talking tree in a commercial.

---

Prof. Frink: (after seeing Ned's film, The Passion of Cain and Abel) You have taught me a world of faith beyond the world of science. I would pay to see it again and again and again and again but NOT SIX TIMES!!!

---

Homer: I wish I were a screensaver.

---

Comic Book Guy: My name is Jeff Albertson, but everyone calls me "Comic Book Guy".

---

Michelle Kwan: Beware the wrath of Kwan!

---

Milhouse: Look! It's my hero, Michelle Kwan!

Michelle Kwan: You remind me of a young Dorothy Hamill.

Milhouse: I didn't know you could talk!

---

Crazy Cat Lady: (calm) Thanks to this medication I enjoy brief moments of lucidity.

Marge: Those are Reese's Pieces.

Crazy Cat Lady: (goes crazy)

---

Frank: Oh, I paid a thousand dollars for this seat and I can't even see the game!

Marge: Just poke through!

(Frank then pokes his head through Marge's hair)

---

Announcer: The crowd gets ready for the half-time show, sponsored by the new Ford pickups, Citibank, and Moe's Tavern'.

(cut to private skybox, where Moe and the two executives are watching the game)

Executive 1: How could you afford this?

Moe: I hustled a lot of pool. Speaking of which, you wanna play? I gotta warn ya though, I ain't that good.

Executive 1: Alright. (under his breath) Sucker.

(Moe swings his cue stick full force against the executive's back, possibly killing him)

Moe: Who's the sucker now!? Huh?!!

---

Mother: You try to raise your kids as humanists but these show-biz types keep shoving religion down our throat.

Kid: Mommy, why wasn't I baptized?

Mother: You see? YOU SEE??

---

Yao Ming: "Wo zhen de bu dong ni men de yu yan." ("I really don't understand your language" in Mandarin)

Lisa: But I heard you have an excellent knowledge of English.

Yao Ming: "Shut up kid, I've got a good thing going on!"

---

(the athletes are carrying an ark in Homer's show)

Tom: You think Homer's mad at me? I waved at him in the parking lot and his stared right through me.

Yao: I left the People's Republic for this?

Warren: Yo, Michelle, ya got a boyfriend?

Michelle: Not in here I don't.

---

LeBron: Omelettes? For dinner? This is the best day of my life!

Lisa: Didn't you just sign a $100 million dollar contract?

LeBron: Oh yeah. That was a good day too.