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Happy Non-Specific Semi-Festive Winter Gathering/Quotes

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki



[The Non-Specific Semi-Festive Winter Gathering is being held in the Springfield Elementary School gymnasium. Principal Skinner encourages the children to participate.]
Principal Skinner: Children! Come and decorate our non-holiday un-tree with colorful hall passes and mint-free sugar sticks!
Mrs. Krabappel: [sardonically] Give it up, Seymour.

[On the other side of the gymnasium, Groundskeeper Willie portrays Santa Claus.]
Milhouse: [sitting on Willie's lap] And I want an Easy-Bake Oven, and a turtle, and a puppy, and a racing car bed, and a pretend shopping cart...
Willie: [interrupting] Aye, and Willie wants nae tah weep inta his pillow every night, but you don't see him beggin' favors from some centuries-old fat daftie like a soft-footed, weak-bellied bairn! [pause] I mean, "Ho, ho, ho" an' like that.

[Üter enters the gymnasium, towing three giant candies behind him in wagons.]
Üter: Children! Children! For der party I am dipping into mine private collection! Eat until you are mit der joy und sick!

[Martin plays a toy piano while Santa's Little Helper dances on it and Lisa listens raptly.]
Lisa: Carols are great and everything, but sometimes a girl likes to hear a nice, romantic dirge.