Ring-a-Ding Springfield/Quotes

Quotes

Clancy Wiggum: Venetian who? Listen, buddy, can I put you on hold for a sec? I'm on the other line... Otto, I'm putting the terroist back on the line! Whatever you do, do not let the bus drop below 50 miles per hour, or it'll explode!

Otto: This is not what I meant when I said I wanted to get bombed this morning!

Ralph: Daddy, why is the bus going so fast?

Clancy Wiggum: Uh... Otto's racing the other buses to see who can get you kids to school the quickest!

Ralph: What happens when there's no more road?

Clancy Wiggum: Don't worry, Ralphie, that could never happen.

Otto: Uh, actually, fuzzmeister, the little dude's on to something...

Ned: Hello? God, is it you?

Fat Tony: So we're goin' biblical with the code names now, 'zat it? Okay, I'll play along-- this is God calling to tell you that you are late with your tithe payment.

Ned: Uh.... I think you might have the wrong numberino there, omnipotent one!

Fat Tony: Unless you'd like a little "disco inferno" at your night club, you'd better pass us the collection plate immediately!

Ned: Uh, can I just put you on hold for a sec?

Moe: So, you need mo' of Moe... eh baby? Hahahaha! Get it? Mo' of Moe! Seriously, you wanna get married? 'cause If you ain't afraid of a man with chronic psoriasis and a manageable B.O. condition, then let's take the plunge!

Bart: Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Moe: What's so funny? Oh great, you can hear how ugly I am, can't you?

Bart: Man, that prank call was too easy! HE made a jerk of himself before I could even say anything!

Professor Frink: I've finally invented a phone that can call alternate universes! Greetings, oh, mighty peer of parallel-attitude [NNG-HEY!] tell me, how is your universe different from mine? What makes it special?

Apu: Special? Well, for a limited time we are offering the Kwik-E Combo... a 72-ounce Squishee, A Kwik-E corn dog, and a dirty magazine of your choosing for only $9.99 plus tax!

Professor Frink: Kwik-E combo?! You're not from an alternate universe, are you?

Apu: Sir, you have obviously not been to Calcutta.

Professor Frink: What's the use? MY phone is a flop!

Cletus: Are you sayin' ifn'n I buy this here "science phone," I can talk to astronauts and aliens?

Nelson: Yeah, sure, whatever! IT's twenty bucks, take it or leave it.

Cletus: I don't know... how come it ain't in a box or got no storybook that shows you how to use it?

Nelson: Er, ah, there they are!

Nelson: Because it talks to you and tells you how to use it, all right?!

Joe Quimby: Those are the thugs that stole my cell phone!

Nelson: Uh-oh!

Cletus: Hey, what about my telly-phone?

Nelson: Run for it!