Jazzy and the Pussycats/Quotes
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(Bart practices his new drum set all over town and accidentally crashes into the band White Stripes.)
Jack White: Hey, kid, why don't you watch where you're drumming?!
Bart: Sorry, White Stripes. No hard feelings?
(Meg and Jack White look at each other.)
Meg White: Let's kick his ass!
Homer: Boy, get dressed! You’re going to a jazz brunch as punishment for all the racket you’re making.
Bart: I thought you wanted me to drum?
Homer: Hmph. I’m sending you mixed messages. Now get the hell out of here! (slams door then opens it again) I love you so much. Damn you!
Defonzo 'Skinny' Palmer: We were about to play a quick set and we were wondering if you…
Lisa: Yes?
Defonzo 'Skinny' Palmer: Lisa Simpson…
Lisa: Yes?
Defonzo 'Skinny' Palmer: Would do us the honor…
Lisa: Yes!
Defonzo 'Skinny' Palmer: Of sitting in…(Lisa gasps) that chair in the audience. We wanna jam with your brother.
Lisa: All I wanted was to save those animals while Bart became a drummer, but I never thought the two stories would intersect!
Bart: I need you to teach me all about the world of juzz.
Lisa: It's jazz! Jazz! You don't even know the name of the thing you're stealing from me!
Jazzy Goodtimes Waiter: What it is, hip cats? Would you like me to scat-sing the menu?
Bart: Hell, no.
Jazzy Goodtimes Waiter: Oh, god bless you, sir!
Bart: So how did Malt Liquor Mommy die?
Marge: Stop calling her that!
(Marge is stressed about the possible doom of Lisa's animals.)
Bart: Oh, this benfit concert is gonna be Scooby Dooby!
Marge: I'm very happy for you, Bart. (Sighs)
Bart: Why are you sad? Thinkin' about your marriage?
(The dog Lisa didn't pick at the Animal Shelter comes back to haunt her in her sleep.)
Dog Spirit: Lisa Simpson, you've doomed me.
Lisa: Me? How?
Dog Spirit: By choosing the cuter puppy. You picked looks over personality, youth over experience, no history of rabies over unknown rabies status. And now I'm going to die!
Lisa: I never wanted that to happen!
Dog Spirit: You suuuck, You suuuck!
(The Dog Spirit scratches on Lisa's door to get out and Lisa opens it.)
Dog Spirit: Ah, thanks, sweetie. You suuuck!
Child Psychiatrist: First, let me assure you that Bart's antics are perfectly normal for a seven-year-old.
Marge: Actually, he's ten.
Child Psychiatrist: Oh, dear. Dear, dear, dear, dear, dear.
(Lisa spots Bart and his Blues muscian friends hanging out in the attic.)
Lisa: Bart! What are you doing here?
Bart: Uh, (stammers) not smoking reefer.
Blues Musician: Uh, that's right. We--we all not smokin' reefer.
(Lisa picks out a dog at the Animal Shelter.)
Lisa: Okay, this little guy's comin' home with me. (Pets the dog) Ooh! Who's going to get neutered tomorrow? You are! Oh, yes you are!
(Marge takes away Bart's laser pointer.)
Marge: Bart! Do you want to leave the funeral early? Do you?
Bart: Yes! Of course.
Bart: My arm! It hurts where the tiger’s biting it!