The Monorail Song
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File:Monorail Song.jpg
The people singing the song
The Monorail Song is sung by Lyle Lanley and the people of Springfield. This song is sung during a town meeting when trying to discuss what to do with some money the town got from Mr. Burns.
Lyrics
- Lyle Lanley (speaking):
- You know, a town with money's a little like the mule with the spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it.
- (everyone laughs except Homer who doesn't get the joke)
- Lyle Lanley:
- The name is Lan-ley, Ly_le Lan-_ley. And I come before you good people tonight with an idea. Probably the greatest_-Aw, it's not for you. It's more a Shelbyville idea.
- Mayor Quimby (speaking):
- Now, wait just a minute. We're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville. Just tell us your idea and we'll vote for it.
- Lyle Lanley (speaking):
- All right. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll show you my idea. I give you the Springfield Monorail!
- (everyone gasps)
- I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and, by gum, it put them on the map!
- Well, sir, there's nothin' on earth like a genuine bona-fide electrified six-car monorail! What'd I say?
- Ned Flanders (speaking):
- Monorail!
- Lyle Lanley (speaking):
- What's it called?
- Patty and Selma Bouvier (speaking):
- Monorail.
- Lyle Lanley (speaking):
- That's right!
(singing)
- Monorail!
- Cast:
- Monorail... monorail... monorail... (continue over the following lyrics)
- Miss Hoover (speaking):
- I hear those things are awfully loud.
- Lyle Lanley (speaking):
- It glides as softly as a cloud.
- Apu (speaking):
- Is there a chance the track could bend?
- Lyle Lanley (speaking):
- Not on your life, my Hindu friend.
- Barney Gumble (speaking):
- What about us brain-dead slobs?
- Lyle Lanley (speaking):
- You'll be given cushy jobs.
- Abraham Simpson (speaking):
- Were you sent here by the devil?
- Lyle Lanley (speaking):
- No, good sir, I'm on the level.
- Clancy Wiggum (speaking):
- The ring came off my pudding can.
- Lyle Lanley (speaking):
- Take my pen knife, my good man.
(singing)
- I swear, it's Springfield's only choice!
- Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
- All:
- Monorail...
- Lyle Lanley:
- What's it called?
- Monorail...
- Once again!
- Monoraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaail!
- Marge (speaking, but to the time of the music):
- But Main Street's still all cracked and broken.
- Bart(speaking, but to the time of the music):
- Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!
- All:
- Monorail...
- Monorail...
- Monoraaaaaaaaail!
- MONORAIL!!
- Homer:
- Mono—D'oh!
Behind the Laughter
It is a parody of songs such as "Rock Island" and "Ya Got Trouble" from the musical Meredith Willson's The Music Man, where instead of lyrics being sung, they are spoken in a kind of crazy version of Gilbert-and-Sullivan-esque patter. The song was written by Al Jean, Jeff Martin, George Meyer, Frank Mula, Conan O'Brien, John Swartzwelder, and Jon Vitti. It is the twenty-ninth track on Songs in the Key of Springfield.
