The Lard Of The Rings
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Tapped Out Quest Information
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The Lard Of The Rings is a questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Treehouse of Horror XXIV content update. It requires Strongman Homer to be obtained.
Dialogue[edit]
After tapping on Strongman Homer's exclamation mark
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Greetings! I am a circus strongman, the 13th most popular sideshow at the circus.
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But the guy who eats glass is retiring soon, so I'll be moving up the list.
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I have the strength of Hercules! And like Hercules, I have been tasked by the gods to perform Twelve Labors.
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Unlike Hercules, I'll probably only get through five of them.
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Help me achieve my First Labor: impressing rubes with a feat of strength!
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Task: "Make Strongman Homer Impress Rubes with His Strength". The job takes 12 hours.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After tapping on Strongman Homer's exclamation mark
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What will be the second Labor of Homercles? If I can earn the gods' favor, they will grant me a boon...
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Perhaps a leotard that doesn't bind up in the crotch.
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Strongman, I have an eight-headed hydra that will take all your strength to defeat.
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*Gasp* You mean... the octuplets?!
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Yes! My kids broke into the bulk Halloween candy and now they're going crazy in my store on a total sugar high.
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Do whatever you must. As a loving parent I ask only this: keep the windows closed so I don't hear them screaming.
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Task: "Make Strongman Homer Battle Apu's Octuplets". The job takes place at a Kwik-E-Mart and takes 60 minutes.
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I almost had them trapped behind the Squishee machine, but then they beat me up and stole my weight belt.
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Beating up an employee... sometimes my kids make me proud.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After tapping on Strongman Homer's exclamation mark
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Who's got a Labor? Looking for a Labor.
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Hey, strongman! I bought a bunch of horse meat from this Greek guy, Diomedes, for my new signature Krusty Whinniewich.
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How'd you like to tenderize it by pounding it with your fat fists?
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They're not fat, they're full-figured.
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Task: "Reach Level 7 and Build the Krusty Burger". Task: "Make Strongman Homer Punch Meat in the Freezer". The job takes place at Krusty Burger and takes 4 hours.
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Well, I made a lot of progress. The meat used to be tough as boot leather, now it's only tough as shoe leather.
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Another Krusty Burger disaster. I guess the moral is, don't look at Greeks bearing gift horses for the mouth.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After tapping on Strongman Homer's exclamation mark
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I gotta get one of these labors right, or I'll never get my boon from the gods. And I want boon! Major boon!
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Strongman, I have lost one of my hounds. For your next task, you must travel into Hell, find him, and bring him back.
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I get finding a lost dog, but what's the "travel into Hell" part?
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Well, he'll only come to my voice. So you must carry me pick-a-back while we search...
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And the entire time I'm going to complain about the cost of employee health and pension benefits.
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So cruel! Still, eyes on the boon. Eyes on the boon.
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Task: "Reach Level 11 and Build the Cooling Towers". Task: "Make Strongman Homer Piggyback Mr. Burns". The job requires Mr. Burns and takes 24 hours.
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Oh, my poor little doggie, you look so tired. Just clamp your jaws on the Strongman's leg and he'll drag you home.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After tapping on Strongman Homer's exclamation mark
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I'm so sick of doing labors! Who'd've thought they'd be like work!
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I've got a job for you. I need you to kill a bull in my tavern.
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Kill him yourself. The next feat of strength I'm doing is thunder farts.
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Nah, I mean killing a "Duff Bull", the new beer from Duff. "There's no bull about Duff Bull." Or some such.
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Finally a labor that involves getting drunk, like my regular job.
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Task: "Reach Level 15 and Build Moe's Tavern". Task: "Make Strongman Homer Drink Duff Bull". The job takes place at Moe's Tavern and takes 8 hours.
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After the task is complete:
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Well, counting up the empties on the bar, I'd say you finished the Twelve Labors of Homercles.
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Let's go for forty-seven.
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Quest reward: 200 and 20
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Behind the Laughter[edit]
The quest name is a reference to The Lord of the Rings.