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The Simpsons: Tapped Out Clash of Creeds: Christmas Royale content update/Stupid vs Sexy Gameplay
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Stupid vs Sexy[edit]
Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 1[edit]
After the user logs in on January 5th:
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You must be this The Leader I've been hearing so much about.
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In the flesh. What can I do ya for?
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Yahweh? What are you doing here?
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Got summoned, major drag.
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Tell me about it.
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You two know each other?
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Depends who you ask.
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Well, I hope you're not here to try to stop The Leader. He's a good guy. Other than the whippings, but those were well-deserved.
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We're just having a good time here, doing surprisingly lucrative manual labor to prepare things for our new home on Blisstonia.
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Well, this all seems to be in order. I see no reason why we can't all coexist.
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Perhaps we could do more. Have you had a chance to see... my spaceship?
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Eh, that's cool. Not really my thing.
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Task: Collect Candy Canes [x150] If the user has Yahweh: Task: Make Yahweh Play Hacky-Sack With The Leader (4h, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House) If the user has The Leader: Task: Make The Leader Play Hacky-Sack With Yahweh (4h, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House) If the user has Rabbi Krustofsky: Task: Make Rabbi Krustofsky Plead With Yahweh for Some Smiting (4h, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House) Task: Make Homer Endure Another Whipping (4h, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House)
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I'm sorry, Marge. We've worked our way to the top of the religion ladder. There's nobody left to pray to.
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Maybe we were praying in the wrong direction.
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It's a bit unconventional, but I guess we could try asking Satan. Satan is Santa spelled sideways, sort of, right?
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You wished to speak with me?
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Mr. Burns. Your employee, Homer Simpson, has fallen in with a cult! Will you help us?
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A cult, eh? And what sort of automatons does this cult turn people into?
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Mindless!
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Mmm, that's the best kind, really. The sentient ones always want to know why you created them, and then they always seem so hurt when you say to make money.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 2[edit]
After completing Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 1:
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Smithers, what is the tax status of this cult?
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Exempt.
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That is worrying. I may no longer be the most evil man in Springfield!
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Perhaps we should form our own religion.
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We'd need some sort of belief system, preferably in book form.
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My Rungs of Ruthlessness will be our bible. Commandment One: When in Doubt, Release The Hounds. Commandment Two: Conceal Your Control of the Kerosene Industry Through an Impenetrable Web of Trusts.
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If we need more commandments we can steal them from Jay G's 50 Rules of Ruthlessness.
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Is that really the sort of message we want to send?
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I guess we must be a religion: we've already got our Judas.
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Excuse me, fine chaps. Have you seen a baby around? About yea-high, long golden locks. Insufferably smug face.
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Can't say that we have, sorry friend.
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Quite alright. Thanks for your time. Toodles.
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...
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What a handsome man.
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Indeed.
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Task: Collect Candy Canes [x150] If the user has Mr. Burns: Task: Make Mr. Burns Start a Cult (4h, Burns Cult Headquarters, Cooling Towers, Control Building or Brown House) If the user has Smithers: Task: Make Smithers Sort Out the Tax Exemption Paperwork (4h, Burns Cult Headquarters, Cooling Towers, Control Building or Brown House) If the user has King Herod: Task: Make King Herod Search for Baby Jesus (4h)
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I'm sorry, Yahweh, but now we have the Movementarians, the Burnsentarians, and the Christians to deal with.
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I tried fire and brimstone with Moses but he's a book short of a Pentateuch, if you know what I mean. It's time to bring the chastisement as only you can.
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That was the old me. *laughs* I was such a hothead. Plagues of Locusts? Laying waste to Sodom AND Gomorrah? Who was that guy?
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Those were your greatest hits! It's time to dust off the classics.
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I prefer to work in mysterious ways now.
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Ways that look mysteriously like not working at all.
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Don't push your luck, Rabbi! You want a little of what Nineveh got?
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There's the wrathful Lord who made the Old Testament a ratings hit!
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They changed the "God" character so much in the New Testament, it was basically a new book.
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By the way, are you ever going to finish the Bible? It's been more than 2000 years since the last book. The fans are getting impatient.
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I don't owe the fans anything. I'm living my life. They should try living theirs.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 3[edit]
After completing Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 2:
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Can you make Homer come home, Grampa?
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Are you nuts? I can't even make him come visit me for an hour!
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Besides, if I go over there, the next thing you know I'll be handing out pamphlets in the park. I'm what the Navy doctors called weak-minded!
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I've already been a member of Sailors for Satan, the Order of the Purple Pyramid, and the Harvard Lampoon!
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So many weirdos!
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Anyhow, you've got better ways of persuading him than I do. If I was you, I'd use 'em!
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Maybe there is one more card I could play. A Christmas card, I mean...
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Task: Collect Candy Canes [x150] Task: Make Marge Buy a Sexy Outfit (4h, Towne Centre at Springfielde Glenne, Gold Navy, Abercrombie and Rich or Brown House) Task: Make Lisa Accidentally See Marge's Sexy Outfit (4h, Simpson House or Brown House)
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*gasp* Mom, what is this outfit? It seems to be missing the arms, and the legs, and the... upper chest area.
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Oh, uh... you weren't supposed to see that. But I suppose now is as good a time as any.
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Lisa, uh... so there are birds and there are bees. And sometimes the birds think the bees are cute, for some reason, and uh...
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Oh my gosh, Mom, please don't try to have the birds and the bees talk with me. I've lived on the streets of Springfield. I've seen things.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 4[edit]
After completing Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 3:
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Oh, Homie... I have something to show you...
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*gasp* Security! Don't let him see her outfit!
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Marge? Is that – *drooling*
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Don't you want to come back home with me, Homie?
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Homer, no! You must resist!
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Must... resist...
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Task: Collect Candy Canes [x150] Task: Make Sexy Santa Marge Try to be Sexy (4h, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House) Task: Make Homer Try to Resist (4h, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House) If the user has The Leader: Task: Make The Leader Fire Up the Spaceship as a Distraction (4h, Cult Flying Saucer, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House) If the user has Baby Jesus: Task: Make Baby Jesus Steal the Spaceship When No One's Looking (4h, Cult Flying Saucer, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House) Task: Make Burns Hand Out Burnsentarian Pamphlets (4h, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House) If the user has Rabbi Krustofsky: Task: Make Rabbi Krustofsky Demand Yahweh Smite Them All (4h, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House) If the user has Yahweh: Task: Make Yahweh Play Some More Hacky-Sack (4h, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House) If the user has King Herod: Task: Make King Herod Overhear the Commotion (4h, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House)
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Must... go with... sexy Santa...
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Alright, Homer. You brought this on yourself. *whips him*
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Ow! What's happening? Where am I?
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Hey, that's cheating!
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Oh, and that outfit isn't?! Security, get her outta here!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 5[edit]
After completing Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 4:
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Homer, you've shown some real fortitude today. I think you're just about ready for the spaceship.
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Woohoo! There's nothing about this cult that I don't love!
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Alright, The Leader, we've completed our list of complaints to be addressed. First and foremost, we need cable in the rooms. Second and...next foremost, Selma needs a shorter robe.
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These legs gotta breathe under here.
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Oh right, I forgot about them.
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I want to be any place other than here!
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Task: Collect Candy Canes [x175] Task: Make Homer Go Home (4h, Simpson House or Brown House) Task: Make Sexy Santa Marge Change Outfits (4h, Simpson House or Brown House) If the user has Baby Jesus: Task: Make Baby Jesus Leave After Two Minutes of Patty (4h, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House) If the user has Moses: Task: Make Moses Leave After Two Minutes of Selma (4h, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House) If the user has King Herod: Task: Make King Herod Wonder Where Baby Jesus Went (4h, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House)
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Baby Jesus was here? And you just... let him go?
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I didn't LET him go. Baby Jesus choked my guard with his toga and stole my spaceship.
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If you see him, you can tell him that he's dead to me. DEAD!
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Yes... dead... wouldn't that be nice... mwwaaahahahahaha...
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I just meant like figuratively.
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Yes, me too.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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The True Meaning of Christmas[edit]
After completing After completing Quest Space Cadet Pt. 5, Hallowed Be Thy Shame Pt. 5, Tire Fire and Brimstone Pt. 5 and Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 5:
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Oh, Homie, I'm so glad to have you home for Christmas.
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Yeah, Dad. It was so boring around here without you. Not a single thing broke or blew up.
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There's just nothing like family...
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*knocking on the door* Can I come in?
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*whispering* Everybody, ssshhh. He'll go away...
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Well, I for one am real grateful for you letting me stay here until this whole King Herod thing blows over. Guy really knows how to hold a grudge.
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*through the window* You're always welcome at my house, Baby Jesus!
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Buzz off, Flanders! He's our Baby Jesus now!
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Right, now we can all get back to the true meaning of Christmas.
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Shopping?
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Shopping!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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