Man vs. Beast vs. Food/Quotes

Quotes

Lindsey Naegle: In fact, we're all dead thanks to the new Krusty-Veg Burger.

Krusty the Clown: [Kaff!] You're telling me! This thing tastes like cardboard!

Board member 1: Actually, it's only 39% cardboard. The rest is a textured blend of seaweed and recycled hamburger buns.

Board member 2: But it still counts as 100% nontoxic, vegetative material.

Krusty: Oy!

Lindsey Naegle: You have a television studio. Why not come up with some new shows?

Krusty: Too expensive! There's a crazy idea going around that actors and writers need to get paid!

Gus Gustavson: In just under four minutes, I've put away five pounds of fudge-covered bacon. My prizes are a t-shirt and an ambulance ride to the nearest hospital.

Krusty: What's your name, sonny?

Bart: Krusty! I'm Bart Simpson. How can you not remember me? I was the "I Didn't Do It" Boy on your show!

Krusty: Umm...

Bart: I convinced you to run for congress? Saved you from Sideshow Bob at least twice? Lead a revolt at your summer camp? Won a huge settlement from you after eating a Metal Krusty-O?

Krusty: That I remember! C'mere, you little shtifer.

Marge: [on the phone] Hello, Lenny? Homer's got another temporary dream career.

Lenny Leonard: No problem. I'll activate his automated stand-in.

Kent Brockman: Here you are last week in Key West, taking on the Bait 'N' Brew's mascot gator, Cap'n Chompy, in their "All You Can Stuff" fried shrimp challenge. Sadly, the challenge proved too much for Cap'n Chompy, who expired twenty minutes into the event. A very classy touch, sir, saluting your fallen adversary with a handful of shrimp before going back and finishing his portion. Any truth to the rumor that you later ate his tail in a victory lap gumbo?

Homer: Chompy would have wanted it that way, Kent.

Marge: I saw how you snapped at that crew person when he took away the donuts! I'm worried about you surviving the first season!

Homer: It's not my fault, Marge. It clearly states in our insurance waiver that I am not to be approached while I am within five hundred feet of the sight, smell, or sound of food!