24 Minutes/Quotes
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- Principal Skinner: Behold; our new state-of-the-art weapon in the global war against misbehavior. CTU: The Counter Truancy Unit.
- Lisa: The sixth-grade security camera shows three empty desks!
- Skinner: Enhance! (the camera zooms in, revealing "Skinner Stinks" carved into the desk) Dehance! Dehance!
- Mr. Burns: Simpson, you can take your putrid mess far out of my sight, you songless land-whale.
- Homer: Woo-Hoo! Business trip!
- Homer: Apu, I'm returning a yogurt I wasn't 100 percent satisfied with.
- Apu: Oh my God, if a dead fish and a homeless person had a baby, and the baby puked, and a dog ate the puke, this smells like the rear end of that dog!
- Skinner: Milhouse, bring them in.
- Milhouse: Roger that (he pulls on a hall monitor sash) And, Lisa, if I don't make it back, there's a letter in my locker I want you to read.
- Lisa: I already read it.
- Skinner: We've all read it.
- Skinner: Milhouse, change of plan... observe and follow.
- Milhouse: Permission to buy a Hostess fruit pie to keep my strength up?
- Skinner: Denied.
- Milhouse: Mr. Simpson, I'm scared.
- Homer: This is our life now, Milhouse. We're dumpster folk.
- Bart: If I help you, I want full immunity for all pranks past and future, and you have to teach me a swear word I don't already know.
- Skinner: No deal.
- (he gets up at if to leave)
- Bart: 'Kay, suit yourself... it's not as if you have any major events coming up that the bullies would want to disrupt.
- Skinner: (gasps) The bake sale!
- Lisa: Principal Skinner, as we both know, but you might need reminding, the annual provides 90 percent of the school's funding.
- Skinner: Okay, you have a deal, you conniving little...
- (he whispers something in Bart's ear)
- Bart: Wow, that's a swear?
- Skinner: Used as a noun it is.
