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The Simpsons: Tapped Out Splash and Burn content update/Gameplay

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki

Summertime Blues

Summertime Blues, Pt. 1

After the user logs in on July 27th:
Homer It finally happened. Our team is good enough to fly across the country for.
Lenny What about last year when we won the championship?
Homer That was a fluke. Now that we're good again this season, it means we're actually good.
Carl Yeah, last year came out of nowhere. It was like when Leicester City won the Premier League in 2016.
Lenny We don't get your soccer references, Carl.
Carl Sorry.
Tapped Out Intercom Icon.png We will begin the boarding process for Flight 196 to Boston shortly, starting with our Group One first-class passengers.
Lenny Come on Carl, Group One — that's us.
Carl Yeah, let's hit the fancy airport lounge before boarding starts!
Homer What?! YOU guys are Group One?! FIRST CLASS?!
Lenny Carl and I got upgraded.
Homer But they only do that for newlyweds on their honeymoons and flight attendants on their off days!
Carl Well, this time they did it 'cause we bought our tickets with points.
Homer Points? That's it? I've got tons of those on my driver's license.
Lenny No. Platinum Praetorian points.
Carl *holding out thick metal credit card* We just got our credit cards in the mail — you get crazy benefits when you book flights.
Homer But I want crazy benefits...
Lenny Can't without the points.
Homer Fine...
Task: Make Travelers Bump Into a Sad, Lonely Homer [x3] (6s, Springfield Airport, Terminal, The First Class Lounge or Brown House)
If the user has Lenny: Task: Make Lenny Drink Free Platinum Duff (6s, Springfield Airport, Terminal, The First Class Lounge or Brown House)
If the user has Carl: Task: Make Carl Get a Neck Massage (6s, Springfield Airport, Terminal, The First Class Lounge or Brown House)
Task: Make Homer Squeeze Into His Economy Middle Seat (6s, Springfield Airport, Terminal, The First Class Lounge or Brown House)
Homer That was the worst trip ever! Stuck in stupid economy, while you guys got to experience all the travel perks known to man.
Carl Look, Homer, I'll just send you my referral code, and you can apply for your own platinum card. That way you'll get a nice point bonus in time for your next trip.
Lenny Carl just wants you to do that so he can get even more points for himself. Use my code instead!
Carl No way! I brought up the referral code thing first!
Homer I don't care about which code — send me both! Because I'm going straight home and getting myself a fancy Praetorian card!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Summertime Blues, Pt. 2

After completing Summertime Blues, Pt. 1:
Lisa Hi Dad, how was your trip?
Homer No time! Must apply for credit card! *typing*
D.E. Machina DENIED.
D.E. Machina STOP APPLYING.
D.E. Machina EVERY DENIAL IS FURTHER LOWERING YOUR CREDIT SCORE.
Homer I guess I have to just keep applying... *typing*
D.E. Machina APPROVED.
Homer Woohoo!
D.E. Machina JUST KIDDING — DENIED. ALSO, PLEASE STOP.
Homer How come Lenny and Carl can get approved for fancy cards, and I can't?! We have the same job, and we even go to the same bar!
Lisa Well, it does make some sense. Lenny and Carl don't have mortgages, they don't have kids, and they probably don't throw all their "past-due" bills in the garbage.
Homer Stupid kids! Ruining my financial health!
Lisa Dad, have you ever sat down and actually taken a look at your credit report?
Homer No, I pay "Credit Nirvana" $29.99 a month to take a look for me.
Lisa Well, after we see what's on there, maybe we can fix things. *typing*
Task: Make Homer Give Lisa His Credit Nirvana Password (6s, Simpson House)
Task: Make Lisa Log Into Homer's Credit Nirvana Account (6s, Simpson House)
If the user has Bart: Task: Make Bart Laugh at Homer's Password (6s, Simpson House)
Lisa Voila! Here's your credit report, Dad.
Homer AAAAH!
Lisa Yeah, this is pretty unfixable.
Bart Why do you have a Banana Republic credit card?
Homer I don't know. All I wanted to do was walk in and buy a pair of pants! It's all I ever wanted...
Lisa Wait, it says on the report that your spouse has a Platinum Praetorian Card and you're listed as an "Authorized User"!
Homer What?! Marge, do we have a Platinum Praetorian Card?!
Marge Of course, it's how we're able to afford and book all of our "Simpsons Go To" vacations.
Lisa Our what?
Marge You know, all the trips we go on: Brazil, Australia, Costa Rica, England, Tokyo, Italy, France, Ireland...
Homer Woo-hoo! That means we must have millions of travel points by now!
Homer Kids, where do you want to go to next? Because we're all flying first-class and getting free neck massages at the airport lounge!
Lisa Ooh! We should go on an ecological tour of the Galápagos!
Bart Fiji! No — the Bahamas! No — whatever the island Fortnite is based on!
Marge Homer, I am not going to waste all of our points on first class tickets to some random island. I book our trips using a very specific and cost-effective system of well-timed deals and promos.
Homer Okay, then where does your *air quotes* "system" think we should go?
Marge *typing* Hmm, my system is only giving me two choices that we can currently afford...
Homer *praying* Please be somewhere awesome. Please be somewhere awesome...
Marge Our choices are...a Crypto Cruise around a floating server farm in the North Sea...
Lisa Sounds like a scam.
Marge Or...a three day stay at Mt. Splashmore Water Park & Resort.

Template:Tapped Out Bart and Lisa Yay Icon

Water park! Water park! Water park!
Homer But Mt. Splashmore is right outside Springfield — which means we wouldn't get to fly first-class or get free airport neck massages...

Template:Tapped Out Bart and Lisa Yay Icon

Water park! Water park! Water park!
Homer Fine, I'll get my swimsuit...
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide

The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 1

After completing Summertime Blues, Pt. 2:
Lisa Oh man, I'm so excited for Mt. Splashmore!
Bart Me too! Especially since they bought the infamous Devil's Deluge water slide and made it twice as dangerous!
Lisa They did what with who now?!
Bart Lisa, The Devil's Deluge is only the most awesome and dangerous slide in the world. You even get to sign onto a class action lawsuit while you wait in line.
Lisa It can't be that dangerous...
Bart It was voted "America's Most Dangerous Water Slide" eight years in a row and recently earned Water Park America's "Deathtime Achievement Award".
Lisa *worried gulp*
Marge We're here!
Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon.png Okay, have a good time kids! If you get injured, just make sure someone's filming it for the future lawsuit.
Task: Collect Pool Floaties [x175]
Task: Make Bart Rush to the Devil's Deluge (4h, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House)
Task: Make Lisa Question the Water Quality (4h, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House)
Task: Make Homer Look for the Snack Bar (4h, Fried Dough Stand, Hot Dog Cart, Hotdog Stand, Popcorn, Stand, Peanut Cart, Devil Donuts Cart, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House)
Bart Come on, Lis, the line for the Devil's Deluge is only two hours long!
Lisa *super worried gulp*
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png Hold it right there, spikey hair kid.
Bart Me? Or my sister?
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png You. *points at sign*
Lisa *gasp* The dreaded "You must be THIS tall to go on this ride" sign!
Bart Have I been standing in front of that this whole time?
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png *points at Bart* You're too short to go on the Devil's Deluge.
Bart No, I'm tall enough! Look! *stretches neck*
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png Nope, short by an inch — and that's counting your hair points.
Bart Come on! Make an exception just this once! Please!
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png Nope!
Bart What's your problem, dude? I mean, like who died and made you the Paul Blart of this water park?
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png No one died. And the name isn't Blart, it's Flart. Paul Flart.
Bart You're a lame security guard, and your name is one letter off from the mall cop in that Kevin James movie?!
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png Hey! I didn't come up with the name, I was born with it! It was out of my hands!
Bart Okay, Flart. But you best believe I'm getting on that super deadly slide.
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png Don't even think about trying to sneak onto that slide, pal, because I got my eye on you.
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png Plus, you're too short and might die if you go down it, which would be most unfortunate...
Bart Well, you can EAT MY SWIMTRUNKS, Flart.
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png Stop saying my name like that!
Bart Whatever you say...FLART.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 2

After completing The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 1:
Bart Hey, Homer, I need your help distracting that water park cop weirdo.
Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon.png Why would I help you do anything?
Bart Please! All I need you to do is distract Flart so I can sneak onto the Devil's Deluge.
Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon.png His name is Flart?! Oh my God, what a dumb name! Okay, I'll help.
Bart That's all it took to convince you?
Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon.png *shrugs* Hey, I'm a reasonable guy.
Bart No, you're not.
Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon.png WHY YOU LITTLE!
Bart *getting choked* Case...in...point.
Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon.png *lets go* Touché.
Task: Collect Pool Floaties [x175]
Task: Make Homer Dance to Distract (4h, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House)
Task: Make Bart Try to Sneak Onto the Slide (4h, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House)
If the user has Paul Flart: Task: Make Paul Flart Block Bart (4h, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House)
Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon.png Look at me, everyone! I'm dancin' in a swimsuit. *awkwardly dances*
Bart I told Homer to distract the cop, not the entire water park!
Agnes Shake it over here, baby! Momma's got a dollar bill ready to slip into those swim trunks.
Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon.png Uh, that's not really necessary...
Agnes Here's a twenty then. *grabs Skinner's wallet*
Skinner Mother — that was all of my cash. How am I supposed to pay for lunch now?
Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon.png *dancing* I hope my dancing doesn't distract anyone — especially any water park cops.
Bart Okay, I think the coast is clear for me to sneak onto the Devil's Deluge—
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png Not so fast!
Bart Flart?! But you were supposed to get distracted by the dancing fat guy over in the lazy river!
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png I knew you were going to try something like that. Which is precisely why I put the interns on drunk idiot duty.
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png Can you believe we're allowed to still have interns? These kids think they'll actually get college credit for this...
Bart *points* Whoa, is one of the interns doing a backflip off Mt. Splashmore Mountain?
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png *turns around* I don't see anyone jumping—
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png *turns back* Wait, where'd you go? Aw man, he tricked me!
Bart *does a backflip off Mt. Splashmore Mountain* Smell you later, Flart!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 3

After completing The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 2:
Milhouse *blowing air into floaties* Ah man, there's a hole in my floaty...
Bart Milhouse?! I didn't know you'd be in this update!
Milhouse I wasn't supposed to be. I just happened to be at the water park today!
Bart Well, I'm happy to see that you were included. And...since you're here, you've gotta help me sneak onto the Devil's Deluge.
Milhouse I don't know, Bart. I usually stick to the less dangerous rides like "The Lazy Puddle", or "The Ankle Soaker" or "The SPF 60 Adventure..."
Bart But those are rides for babies who wear water diapers!
Milhouse *covering himself up* Yeah, you're right. Only babies wear water diapers — I'd never wear a water diaper...
Bart Anyway, I was thinking we'd sneak onto the slide with the classic "two kids, one trench coat" trick.
Milhouse That is a classic! But also a weird choice for a water park... You know, because why would anybody wear a trench coat at a water park...
Bart ...
Milhouse Sorry, I know it's not really my role to start poking holes in your plan. It's a great plan...great plan.
Bart Just get on my shoulders and let's trick this water park Flart-wad!
Task: Collect Pool Floaties [x125]
Task: Make Bart Carry Milhouse (4h, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House)
If the user has Milhouse: Task: Make Milhouse Put On Their Disguise (4h, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House)
If the user has Paul Flart: Task: Make Paul Flart Be Suspicious (4h, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House)
Task: Make Lisa Test the Park Water (4h, Water Toads, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House)
Milhouse I say, good sir, may I get on that slide? I believe it's called the Devil's Deluge.
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png Are you sure you don't want to take off your coat before going down the slide?
Milhouse Uh, no, I need my coat because I'm from London and all Londoners wear coats!
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png Are you okay? You're shaking all of a sudden, and kind of yelling at me for no reason.
Milhouse I'm not yelling — you're YELLING. *trips and falls over*
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png I knew you weren't a Londoner! You don't even have a British accent!
Bart Great detective work, Flart.
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png You two dummies are coming with me!
Bart Instead of walking down all these stairs, wouldn't it be faster if we took the slide down?
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png Hmm, that would be faster...
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png Wait, you're trying to trick me again. I'm not falling for your—
Bart *grabs inner tube* Milhouse, come on!
Bart Milhouse?!
Milhouse I can't! I'm too afraid to go down that slide!
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png *grabbing Milhouse and Bart* That's it! I'm sending you two to the only place you can't escape in this water park!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 4

After completing The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 3:
Bart I can't believe we ended up in the water park's "Drunk Tank Dunk Tank".
Milhouse Yeah, if you're going to put us in water park prison, it should at least match our crime. We're kids — and this place is filled with weird, smelly drunk people.
Barney *belches* I'm not drunk. I just accidentally drank one of those floating chlorine thingies thinking it was a piña colada!
Sea Captain Nor am I imbibed with the sirens' spirits! All I've got is a brief spell of scurvy and some light indigestion on account of my IBS!
Bart Yeah, yeah, everyone in prison says they're innocent...
Kearney *walking up* Whoa, "Drunk Tank Dunk Tank" — "dunk a drunk and win a prize". *throws ball*
Sea Captain *falling into dunk tank* Arrrr, me wooden peg leg is not waterproof!
Jimbo My turn! *throws ball* Got him!
Barney *falling into tank* How is this legal?! *belches*
Milhouse Bart, we need to get out of here before we start getting dunked! My floaty is out of air! I'll drown!
Bart Relax, the moment Flart gets distracted, we're making a run for it.
Milhouse Look, Lisa's walking up to Flart!
Lisa Mr. Flart, you have to close the water park! We have an emergency situation.
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png An emergency?! The kind where I need to run away and hide or the kind I can safely ignore?
Lisa Can you safely ignore what may be the dawn of one of the greatest ecological disasters in human history?
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png I'm guessing...no?
Lisa Look at the results from these water tests I conducted!
Bart Come on! Now's our chance.
Milhouse But I wanted to see the water test results.
Bart We will — after the quest objectives are completed.
Task: Collect Pool Floaties [x125]
Task: Make Lisa Expose Tainted Water (4h, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House)
If the user has Paul Flart: Task: Make Paul Flart Make Excuses for Tainted Water (4h, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House)
Task: Make Bart Sneak Out of Water Park Jail (4h, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House)
If the user has Milhouse: Task: Make Milhouse Follow Bart Out of Jail (4h, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House)
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png We're aware that bacteria is a thing, little girl. That's why we use whatever that chemical is that makes your eyes burn to keep everyone healthy.
Lisa Look, I'm not talking about normal water park bacteria. The water quality here is so poor that you've managed to breed chlorine-resistant bacteria!
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png Okay. And that's bad?
Lisa It's an emergency!
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png Okay, okay! Let me take the inmates out of the "bacteria" filled dunk tank, and then I'll call the top brass to get this sorted out.
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png Wait, where'd they all go?
Sea Captain Those two criminal cadets exited starboard and are headed north at fifteen knots.
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png I know exactly where they're going...
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 5

After completing The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 4:
Bart Devil's Deluge, here we come!
Milhouse But Bart, what about the attendant?
Tapped Out Squeaky Voice Attendant Icon.png *snoring*
Bart You were saying?
Milhouse Uh, look, Bart, you go ahead. That slide looks cool and all, but...but it's not safe.
Bart Of course it's not safe, you big baby. That's the whole point!
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png Hey! *pant* Come...back...here! *gasp*
Bart Milhouse, it's now or never!
Milhouse I choose never.
Bart If I die, tell everyone I died doing what I love most! *goes down slide*
Task: Collect Pool Floaties [x205]
Task: Make Bart Dive Onto the Slide (4h, Devil's Deluge, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House)
If the user has Paul Flart: Task: Make Paul Flart Dive After Bart (4h, Devil's Deluge, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House)
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png Gotcha!
Bart Hey man, let me go! *shoves Flart*
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png Careful, kid, this deadly slide isn't that stable — WHOA! *slide starts to collapse*
Bart I'm falling!
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png I got ya, kid! *grabs Bart and helps him to hold on* We just gotta hold until the fire department gets here.
Bart Okay! We can do this together. Wait, what's wrong?
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png Curse my sweaty palms! *slips and falls, grabs Bart's ankles on the way down*
Bart AAARH! Can't...hold us...both up! *slips and falls*
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png We're all gonna die!
Lisa They're going to...land in the Lazy Puddle kiddie pool?
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png Oh God, kid, you landed on my collarbone. And my spine. And my bad knee. *groans*
Bart We...we made it!
Tapped Out Swimsuit Homer Icon.png That was great! I didn't know there was going to be a stunt show.
Marge That wasn't a stunt show, that was our son!
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

Summer Splashin', Had Me a Blast

After completing The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 5:
Bart That was amazing the way you almost killed me then accidentally saved my life!
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png And it was amazing the way you held us up as long as you could. But also you're under arrest again.
Bart What? After all we went through together?
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png Sorry, kid, but for a water park cop, water park law always comes first.
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png Wait, hold on. Look!
Bart What? Oh, the "You must be this tall..." sign. Gonna rub it in my face again?
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png No, you're somehow taller?
Bart You're right! I am!
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png I guess when I was holding onto your ankles, I must have stretched you out.
Bart *gasp* So I'm tall enough to ride the slide now?!
Tapped Out Paul Flart Icon.png I mean, you would be if the Devil's Deluge wasn't just completely destroyed when we just slid down it.
Bart Oh yeah...forgot.
If the user has Paul Flart: Task: Make Paul Flart Let Bart Go (4h, Devil's Deluge, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House)
Task: Make Bart Steal Paul Flart's Scooter (4h, Devil's Deluge, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House)
Lisa So, Bart? You just had to steal Paul Flart's scooter...
Bart I didn't "have to" do anything. But yes, I've acquired a certain water park cop's official cop scooter.
Bart Now I can ride it around our neighborhood for the rest of the summer.
Homer Bart, take your scooter and get me a six-pack of Duff.
Bart But I'm not old enough.
Homer This kid and all of his excuses!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10