Difference between revisions of "Splotchmen/Quotes"

Revision as of 07:54, April 8, 2021

Chief Wiggum: Looks like we have a clown down. What happened, boys?

Lou: While opening a can, the victim stepped on a banana peel... bouncing the can off his monkey's head and breaking the window.

Chief Wiggum: Classic comedy bit.

Krusty the Clown: Pastry Face? Didn't you drown in a vat of bundt cake batter?

Krusty: Wait! If you're not the original Pastry Face, how did you know I was The Komedian?

Pastry Face: You put it in your book.

Krusty: I knew I should have read that thing.

Marge: I have a certain sympathy for unnatural blue coloring.

Marge: Yesterday, I entered the bi-city bake-off.

Lisa: But didn't Pastry Face warn you not to?

Marge: How did you know that?

Lisa: Dr. New Haven told me.

Marge: When did you see him?

Lisa: He's right here.

Marge: Dr. New Haven! Did you teleport in here?

Dr. New Haven: No, Homer left the door open, and I walked in. [Flaven]

Gil Gunderson: Hey, buddy, you okay?

Dr. New Haven: Don't call me that. From now on, I am... Doctor New Haven!!

Gil: Sure thing, Smurfy.

Dr. New Haven: And now I am on TV!

Kent Brockman: Uh, yes you are...

Dr. New Haven: And now I am gone!

Pastry Face: Doctor, we need you to avert a disaster. Plus, the planetarium wants this room for a Bar Mitzvah.

Cupcake Kid: How do you know who we are, Pasty Face?

Pastry Face: It's Pastry Face. And I read it in The Red Dress Press.

Cupcake Kid: The what drut prut?

Pastry Face: Lisa Simpson's newspaper. Don't you read it?

Pastry Face: You have to help me. The bi-city bake-off is tomorrow.

Pie Man: Why us? Go ask Dr. New Haven.

Pastry Face: I tried. He told me he's lost "the will to loiven." Whatever that means.

Grampa: Yep, I was a superhero back then. Everyone was doing it. Not like today. Nowadays, nobody dresses up in costumes to fight crime.

Pie Man: pastry Face? You're my daughter... Maggie?

Lisa: No, Pie Man. It's me, Lisa.

Dr. New Haven: Careful with that. It's a throwing machine.

Krusty: Oh yeah, what does it throw? Pies?

Dr. New Haven: Yes. And people.

Pastry Face: Bart, we know who planned the whole thing: the Quimby pieing, the Kennerly seltzering, our pantsing, and even the town square cream-puffing.

Pie Man: We do?! Who was it? Kang and Kodos? Artie Ziff? Squeaky-voiced teen?

Pastry Face: No, dad. Haven't you figured it out?

Pie Man: Was it Maggie? Maggie usually does these things. She shot Mr. Burns, you know.

Pastry Face: it was Bart!!

Original Pie Man: I woulda guessed Maggie too.

Original Pie Man: Why'd you do it, boy?

Bart: I whip-creamed an entire city. Why wouldn't I do it?

Pastry Face: So, by escalating the violence, it actually prevented further retaliation and soothed the rivalry. Well done, Bart.

Cupcake Kid: Actually, I was hoping it would lead to further violent escalation.