Difference between revisions of "Kwik-E-Mart Holiday Savings Circular"

Revision as of 10:47, April 7, 2020

The contents of this article are based on an issue of Simpsons Comics or another comic series and is considered to be non-canon and may not have actually happened/existed. The reason behind this decision is: .

Kwik-E-Mart Holiday Savings Circular is a Simpsons Comics story first printed in The Simpsons: Homer For the Holidays.

Plot

Apu promotes an assortment of products for sale at the Kwik-E-Mart during the Christmas season. It's definitely a case of caveat emptor, though, as some of the bargains are not what they appear to be and/or aren't all that "Christmasy".

• Bags of ice, with the exhortation to "Buy Ice! It's Seasonal!"

• Comic books that are missing their covers, being sold as "perfect wrapping paper". Buyer's choice, $12 per bundle.

• "Fresh Holiday Donuts!" A closer look at the ad, however, reveals that according to the fine print, the donuts are actually only "Freshly re-sprinkled". Also, the donut in the illustration has a hair-like growth sprouting in several places.

• Cases of bottled Duff Beer, being promoted as "Santa's 12-Pack Special: Buy 2 cases of Duff Beer, get 2 more at the exact same price!"

• Christmas Cherry Squishees - "Not at all similar to our regular Cherry Squishees!"

• "Fun for the Kiddies: Reindeer Jerky!" However, it is actually Krusty Beef Jerky, with a handmade label reading "Reindeer" stuck over the word "Beef" on the package.

• A revolving rack of comic books: "Take these comics an' stuff 'em ... in your stockings! But please, not in your pants. (You hooligans know who you are!)" The illustration shows Nelson Muntz in the act of stealing a comic book from the rack.

• A can of Buzz Cola, with the promotional line, "Kids! Fly like a reindeer (and bounce off the walls) with Buzz Cola!"

• "For the Grown-Ups: Naughty magazines with naked ladies!" The ad shows a copy of a pornographic magazine called Girlie, along with two other magazines whose titles aren't visible. A follow-up caption below the magazine says, "Nothing at all to do with Christmas, but we've got them!"

• "Photos with Santa - $20!". However, "Santa" is actually Jasper Beardsley, who is frozen in the Kwik-E-Mart freezer and costumed to resemble Santa Claus.

• The promotion ends with a picture of Apu wearing a set of reindeer antlers and intoning his classic parting line: "Thank you, come again!"