Difference between revisions of "Marge in Chains/Quotes"
(Replacing "Dr. Hibbert" links with "Julius Hibbert" links., replaced: Dr. Hibbert → Dr. Hibbert) |
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'''Chief Wiggum''': All right, come out with your hands up, two cups of coffee, an auto freshener that says 'Capricorn', and something with coconut on it! | '''Chief Wiggum''': All right, come out with your hands up, two cups of coffee, an auto freshener that says 'Capricorn', and something with coconut on it! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | '''[[Lionel Hutz]]''': No, don't you worry Mrs. Simpson, I-Uh-oh. We've drawn [[Roy Snyder|Judge Snyder]]. | ||
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| + | '''Marge''': Is that bad? | ||
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| + | '''Lionel Hutz''': Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog. | ||
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| + | Marge: You did? | ||
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| + | '''Lionel Hutz''': Well, replace the word “kinda” with the word “repeatedly,” and the word “dog” with “son.” | ||
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'''Lisa''': You're a latter-day [[Clarence Darrow]]! | '''Lisa''': You're a latter-day [[Clarence Darrow]]! | ||
| − | ''' | + | '''Lionel Hutz''': Uh, was he the black guy on the Mod Squad? |
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'''Homer''': Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. | '''Homer''': Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. | ||
Revision as of 11:36, June 23, 2012
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Mr. Burns: Who the devil are you?
Homer's Brain: Don't panic. Just come up with a good story.
Homer: My name is Mr. Burns!
Homer's Brain: D'oh!
Bart: Who's gonna change Maggie?
Homer: We're going to let her roam free in the backyard and nature will take its course.
Chief Wiggum: All right, come out with your hands up, two cups of coffee, an auto freshener that says 'Capricorn', and something with coconut on it!
Bart: Dad! We're running out of clean clothes!
Lisa: It seems like I've been wearing this same red dress forever!
Homer: Go up to the attic, there's a whole trunk of clothes. [comes down the stairs in a wedding dress humming Here Comes the Bride to himself.]
Crowd: We need a cure! We need a cure!
Dr. Hibbert: Ho ho ho. Why, the only cure is bedrest. Anything I give you would be a placebo.
Woman: [frantic] Where can we get these placebos?
Man: (points at truck) Maybe, there's some in this truck!
[Crowd knock over truck and a box of killer bees from it break out and attack the crowd. A man, thinking the bee is a vaccine, takes it and swallows it.]
Man: I'm cured! I mean ,ouch!
Flanders: Oh, the network slogan is true. Watch Fox and be damned for all eternity.
Lisa: Mom, could you bring me more O.J.?
Bart: Mom, could you get me some of those Flintstones chewable morphine?
Marge: There's no such thing!
Homer: Marge, the boy is wasting TV time. Come change the channel and pat my head!
Marge: In a minute!
Homer: But I'll miss Sheriff Lobo!
Chief Wiggum: All right, come out with your hands up, two cups of coffee, an auto freshener that says 'Capricorn', and something with coconut on it!
Lionel Hutz: No, don't you worry Mrs. Simpson, I-Uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Lionel Hutz: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Lionel Hutz: Well, replace the word “kinda” with the word “repeatedly,” and the word “dog” with “son.”
Lisa: You're a latter-day Clarence Darrow!
Lionel Hutz: Uh, was he the black guy on the Mod Squad?
Homer: Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation.
Homer: Now, kids, while your mother's gone, I don't want to have to wash any dishes, so from now on, drink straight from the faucet or milk carton, and we'll eat while standing over the sink or toilet.
Lionel Hutz: Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I- uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidently" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."
Milhouse: [looks at his lunchbox] Alright, baloney and cheese! What have you got, Bart?
Bart: Pack of sugar and a peanut butter sticked on a playing card.
Nelson: Ha-ha! Your mom's a jailbird!
Bart: So's yours.
Nelson: Oh yeah. Let's play.
Marge: Knock, knock. I'm Marge Simpson, your new cellmate.
Phillips: I'm Phillips. They called me that because I killed my husband with a Phillips-head screwdriver.
(Lionel Hutz tries to give Judge Snyder a fake verdict)
Judge Snyder: This verdict is written on a cocktail napkin. And it still says "guilty." And "guilty" is spelled wrong!
Bart: Mr Hutz, when I grow up, I wanna be a lawyer just like you.
Lionel Hutz: Good for you, son. If there's one thing America needs, it's more lawyers. Could you imagine a world without lawyers?
[Hutz has a vision of a world without lawyers in his head with multicultural people walking and holding hands in a circle happily, causing him to shudder.]
