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Difference between revisions of "The Wettest Stories Ever Told/Quotes"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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:'''Homer:''' So, though art a widow, eh? Then the codpiece holds no terrors for thee.
 
:'''Homer:''' So, though art a widow, eh? Then the codpiece holds no terrors for thee.
 +
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 +
:'''Homer:''' What kind of booze cruise is this? Where's the hooch?
 +
:'''[[Ned Flanders|Ned Fladish]]:''' Heh, heh, heh, we Puritans have no place for drunkeness... or colorful clothes, or dreaming, or poetry. So, if you write a sonnet, keep it under your bonnet. ''(panicked)'' Oh no! That was a poem! ''(he pulls out a cat-o'-nine-tails and flogs himself with it)'' Forgive me, Lord! ''(he pours salt on his back)'' Then, pour a little salt in the wounds... and I'm good.
 +
:'''Marge:''' I see you met our devout leader, Ned Flandish.
 +
:'''Homer:''' Stupid Flandish.
 +
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 +
:'''Homer:''' Uh, listen, since all the other fun stuff is out of bounds, how 'bout a little Bible-thumping in the crow's nest? What do yiu say, Miss...?
 +
:'''Marge:''' Constance Prudence Chasity Goodfaith.
 +
:'''Homer:''' [[D'oh]]!
 +
:'''Marge:''' My friends call me "Marge".
 +
:'''Homer:''' Huh?
 +
:'''Marge:''' Marge Obedience Temperance Sexwon't.
 +
:'''Homer:''' D'oh!
 +
----
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:'''[[Moe Szyslak|Moezekiel]]:''' We're engaged! I didn't kill her husband just so.... I-I mean, I-I didn't kill her husband.
 +
:'''Marge:''' We're not engaged. Uh, it's really more of an amiable concordance.
 +
:'''Flandish:''' Oh! Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Such language from a woman. Oh no! i just thought of you as a woman! ''(begins flogging himself again)''.
 +
----
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:'''[[Reverend Lovejoy]]:''' Lord, we thank you for the many ways you show your love: the sun which bakes our lips to the point of bleeding and your hillarious idea to surround us with water that would kill us if we drank it.
 +
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 +
:'''Moezekiel:''' Oh my God, look at that hand-on-hand action! If I don't do somethin', soon they'll be exchanging pleasantries.
 +
:'''Marge:''' Yes, the weather is fair.
 +
:'''Moezekiel:''' Man, that guy sends my humors from sanguine to bilious. ''(he addresses the camera)'' That's how we talk, weird, huh? ''(returning to character)'' Time to think of a plan most sneaky.
 +
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 +
  
 
{{Season 17 Q}}
 
{{Season 17 Q}}
 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Wettest Stories Ever Told/Quotes}}
 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Wettest Stories Ever Told/Quotes}}

Revision as of 11:31, May 6, 2011


Season 17 Episode Quotes
373 "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"
374
"The Wettest Stories Ever Told"
"Girls Just Want to Have Sums" 375


Captain McCallister: Yarr. Sorry about the delay. The chef is having a problem with tonight's sepcial. (A knife-weilding chef is battling an octopus with eight knives). Meanwhile, I can send a busboy out to get you somethin' from a better restaurant.
Marge: Red Lobster?
Captain McCallister: Not that good (the family moan in dissapointment). Until then, perhaps an old sea yarn may pass the time. Too bad I don't know any.
Lisa: I know one, about the most inportant sea voyage in American history. The journey of "Mayflower".
Captain McCallister: Ah, yes. The ship that brought prostitutes to America.
Lisa: Not prostitutes, Protestants.
Captain McCallister: Now who's being naiive?

Mayflower Madman

Homer: I'm so bored, I figured out where the wallpaper pattern repeats. See, it goes: ship's wheel, Popeye tattoo, Gilligan hat, fish with boobs, and back to ship's wheel.
Lisa: What about this swordfish?
Homer: Oh! My life's work is ruined.

Marge: Do you have your shipboard entertainments?
Bart: I've got my toy wood lump! (he drops a lump of wood on the floor and starts to kick it around) What jolly fun!

Beefeater Lenny: Has anyone seen this knave? (he holds up a picture of Homer)
Beefeater Carl: He's wanted for daring to question why we call this the Jacobean era when the king's name is James, not Jacob.
Lisa: Mother, we must protect him. Look, he's praying.
Homer: Oh Lord, please let the soldiers kill this family instead of me.

Homer: So, though art a widow, eh? Then the codpiece holds no terrors for thee.

Homer: What kind of booze cruise is this? Where's the hooch?
Ned Fladish: Heh, heh, heh, we Puritans have no place for drunkeness... or colorful clothes, or dreaming, or poetry. So, if you write a sonnet, keep it under your bonnet. (panicked) Oh no! That was a poem! (he pulls out a cat-o'-nine-tails and flogs himself with it) Forgive me, Lord! (he pours salt on his back) Then, pour a little salt in the wounds... and I'm good.
Marge: I see you met our devout leader, Ned Flandish.
Homer: Stupid Flandish.

Homer: Uh, listen, since all the other fun stuff is out of bounds, how 'bout a little Bible-thumping in the crow's nest? What do yiu say, Miss...?
Marge: Constance Prudence Chasity Goodfaith.
Homer: D'oh!
Marge: My friends call me "Marge".
Homer: Huh?
Marge: Marge Obedience Temperance Sexwon't.
Homer: D'oh!

Moezekiel: We're engaged! I didn't kill her husband just so.... I-I mean, I-I didn't kill her husband.
Marge: We're not engaged. Uh, it's really more of an amiable concordance.
Flandish: Oh! Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Such language from a woman. Oh no! i just thought of you as a woman! (begins flogging himself again).

Reverend Lovejoy: Lord, we thank you for the many ways you show your love: the sun which bakes our lips to the point of bleeding and your hillarious idea to surround us with water that would kill us if we drank it.

Moezekiel: Oh my God, look at that hand-on-hand action! If I don't do somethin', soon they'll be exchanging pleasantries.
Marge: Yes, the weather is fair.
Moezekiel: Man, that guy sends my humors from sanguine to bilious. (he addresses the camera) That's how we talk, weird, huh? (returning to character) Time to think of a plan most sneaky.


Template:Season 17 Q