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Bummer Games

Comic Story information Released: July 2012 Comic series: The Simpsons Go for the Gold Pages: 28 Written by: Bill Morrison Jamie Angell Ian Boothby Max Davison Evan Dorkin Pat McGreal Tom Peyer

Bummer Games (known as It's All Fun and Games in Simpsons Go for the Gold) is a The Simpsons Go for the Gold story.

Synopsis

Bart and Homer start making films about the ancient Olympic Games with their friends as actors. Lisa doesn't like the movies as they contain several historical inaccuracies.

Plot

Bart is writing graffiti on the Kwik-E-Mart when Milhouse passes him and asks if he is mad that Mrs. Krabappel gave them homework about the ancient Olympic Games in a creative way. Bart tells him that if he does not pass the homework, he will have to go to summer school. He decides to ask Homer for help with his homework. Homer decides to help if him they can use Springy because he wants to keep his trademark alive and make some new business.

They decide to make some films where Springy answers questions from Bart's friends about the Olympics but they have a problem: they know nothing about the Olympics. They ask Lisa but she does not want to help them because she will not get any credit, so they visit Grampa, who provides them with facts about the Olympic Games. Bart and Homer let their friends participate in the videos as a visual aid to answer the questions. Bart and Homer start filming. Their first question is "How did the Olympics get started in the first place?".

It started when Zeus was bored. He did not like what he saw when he watched what was happening on Earth, so Zeus threatened the people that they must make things more interesting or he would wipe out every living thing. On Earth, they decided to start a big sporting event to entertain the gods and established the first Olympics with sports like running, wrestling, pankration and javelin throwing. Zeus liked what he saw and decided that for the rest of his life he just wanted to watch sports, drink and eat ribs. When Zeus' wife asked him why he liked wrestling, he told her that it was because most of the wrestlers were not wearing clothes, which made his wife also start watching the sport.

The second question Springy answers is "Where were the Ancient Olympics held?". The story began as the Olympic Committee, Hercules, Larry King, and Great Poet Homer were trying to decide where to hold the games. They wanted to have it in Sheboygan, but because America was still wilderness, as Pocahontas was still trying to guide Lewis and Clark to the Pacific, they could not find a place so they sought out an oracle who told them to talk to the gods. The committee went to Thor, who did not care where they held it, and Bacchus told them that they could choose Olympia, which had water which was excellent for brewing beer.

The third question is "Why did the first Olympic athletes compete in the nude?". The answer is that unlike modern times, the Greeks were saturated with corporate sponsorship. One day the Olympic Games presented a new opportunity for advertisers, a large toga with advertising messages, but the athletes had problems competing in the new togas so they refused to wear the clothes, but they didn't get much further because the sponsors demanded it, so they decided to compete naked. The athletes soon found it more comfortable to compete naked and since the new record was set, they continued to compete naked. They decided that in Greece everyone had the right to dress how they wanted, and thus Greece became a democracy.

Homer and Bart publish their first three videos on myTube. Lisa doesn't like the films because they are a chaotic hodgepodge of bad sets, hammy acting and nonsensical history. When Bart tell her that the videos have now been seen by 1.65 million people, Lisa decides to produce her own movie with true information. Meanwhile, Homer and Bart continue to produce more films about the Olympics with their friends as actors.

The fourth question Bart and Homer get is "Whut en tha wairld di' tha eerly Olympians doo fa spairt?" but since they don't understand the question, they made a film about "all the events in the early Olympics." The best event was wrestling until the king of the Olympic Committee closed it as a protest to the nudity tax and introduced human lawn darts, but the tragic toll it took on lawns led to the fires of war and soon Greece invaded its brother opposite Greece. But the real point of wrestling was to decide the home field advantage for the chariot races, which was stupid because they always had the same winner, Chariotosaurus, who was impossible to destroy until twin wolf cubs discovered his secret weakness. The Chariotosaurus exploded and out came two million Greek troops, because he was a Trojan Chariotosaurus. The Greeks and their enemies fought savagely in the sport of wrestling. Wrestling was only paid part-time, so you had to be great in all sports like custard boarding, competitive chewing, sitting very still and being very quiet and horseback boxing. In short, wrestling was a large part of the event.

The fifth question is "How did the tradition of the torch relay get started?" The story begins a long time ago in Greece when the Olympics committee needed to find a new place for the Olympic games. Meanwhile in Ancient Greek heaven, Prometheus was being chased after stealing fire from Zeus but he lost the fire when it fell to the ground, where the fire started burning on a stick. They had never seen fire before in the Earth, so a Greek took the fire and began to run away with it because he wanted the gift from the gods. Soon everyone in Greece wanted the fire and began chasing the man who had the fire. They finally got a man called Homer to get it, but he had to hide it. However, he failed and began to burn himself so he jumped in a pool filled with grease. As a result, the fire spread and burned almost the entire city. They decided to have the Olympics there, and the fire continued to be a symbol for a new city to find the Olympics.

The sixth and final question is "Has bowling ever been an Olympic sporting event?" Several ideas were tossed around when the games got their start, but they didn't turn out so well. From the start bowling was a sport that the whales played, but is now popular with everyone. The sport has not changed so much; in ancient Greece they drank before the game, which is still, happening today, and after throw they the balls, the winner is honored as Olympic champion. Although bowling is not a branch, sports are currently still played in a large stadium or bowl.

Lisa has completed her film about the Olympics, where she tells the true story of the Olympics, which were not created by Zeus or Larry King. It was held in Olympia in 776 B.C. and Thor and Wonder Woman had nothing to do with it. The first games were held in a stadium where they played discus, javelin throwing, boxing, wrestling, and pankration. They competed naked to show their aesthetic male body and as a tribute to the gods. The Olympic flame was introduced in the Berlin 1936 Olympics as a symbol of Prometheus stealing the fire from Zeus. And bowling has no connection to the Olympics. Lisa likes her movie, although only 12 people have seen it and 14 million people have seen Bart's film. Bart then gets a visit from an executive from the Historical Channel, who pays him $5000 for his film.

Bart presents his movie to the class. Edna likes his movie but because is not historically correct, Skinner makes him go to summer school. Bart tells him that he'll do anything to avoid going to summer school, so Lisa presents an idea to Skinner, which Bart accepts: he will not have to go to summer school if he gives $5000 dollars to the Special Olympics Program. Bart does it to get a summer vacation, but after he does it, Chief Wiggum enters the classroom and tells Bart that he must spend the entire summer cleaning up all of the graffiti he made, which he saw on the surveillance tapes.

Reprints

Comic issue Release date Country Simpsons Go for the Gold September 13, 2012

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