Difference between revisions of "The Book of Jobs/Quotes"
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(Created page with "{{TabQ|gags=no}} :'''Lindsey Naegle:''' Mr. Simpson, it looks like you've invented a new bakery treat! Half fritter, half macaroon. We call them "Frittaroons!" :'''Marg...") |
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:'''[[Lindsey Naegle]]:''' Mr. Simpson, it looks like you've invented a new bakery treat! Half fritter, half macaroon. We call them "Frittaroons!" | :'''[[Lindsey Naegle]]:''' Mr. Simpson, it looks like you've invented a new bakery treat! Half fritter, half macaroon. We call them "Frittaroons!" | ||
:'''[[Marge]]:''' Lindsey Naegle? What are you doing here? | :'''[[Marge]]:''' Lindsey Naegle? What are you doing here? | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Lindsey Naegle:''' Hello, Marge! I'm always on the hunt for new innovative ideas and ways to "Zuckerberg" my way into a creator credit. |
---- | ---- | ||
:'''[[Homer]]:''' Brad and Neil from Powersauce? | :'''[[Homer]]:''' Brad and Neil from Powersauce? | ||
:'''[[Neil]]:''' That's us! | :'''[[Neil]]:''' That's us! | ||
:'''{{ap|Brad|King of the Hill}}:''' Actually, we had to stop selling Powersauce bars since the FDA discredited all of our claims. | :'''{{ap|Brad|King of the Hill}}:''' Actually, we had to stop selling Powersauce bars since the FDA discredited all of our claims. | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Neil:''' But now we have anew idea that is guaranteed to work. The neanderthal diet. You can only eat foods that a caveman would eat! |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Brad:''' And your body type makes your the perfect before model! |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Neil:''' We need you eat meat! |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Brad:''' Lots and lots of meat |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Homer:''' Woo-hoo! |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Brad:''' Sadly, you can't eat Fritaroons on the Neanderthal diet! No carbs. |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Homer:''' D-d-d'oh! |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Homer:''' I've got to say, Marge. Helping others felt pretty good! |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Marge:''' Then keep doing it! You get so many different job offers that you could start your own employment office. |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Homer:''' Really? |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Marge:''' Yes! And it's a lot safer than running wild with your usual ideas. |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Homer:''' Okay! I just texted Mr. Smithers and quit my job! |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Marge:''' Homer, you didn't have to do that. |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Homer:''' They'll have to hire someone new to replace me. See, Marge? I'm already creating jobs for this city! |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Marge:''' Hrmmm... |
---- | ---- | ||
:'''[[Comic Book Guy]]:''' Bwa-ha-ha! I feel like a god! Like Mastermind, The Pupper Master or The Anti-Life equation... I control Springfield's every move! | :'''[[Comic Book Guy]]:''' Bwa-ha-ha! I feel like a god! Like Mastermind, The Pupper Master or The Anti-Life equation... I control Springfield's every move! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
:'''[[Rich Texan]]:''' Mr. Simpson, you worked real hard this past week. My insurance company desperately could use a man like you! We'd like you to be our new claims adjuster. | :'''[[Rich Texan]]:''' Mr. Simpson, you worked real hard this past week. My insurance company desperately could use a man like you! We'd like you to be our new claims adjuster. | ||
| − | :''' | + | :'''Homer:''' What does that mean? |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Rich Texan:''' You figure out how much yo pay our customers if they ever get in an accident! It's a nice, cushy desk job! Bang bang! |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Homer:''' Can I, Marge? It's always been my dream to work in the insurance industry! |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Marge:''' Go right ahead. Maybe a conformable, stable job is just what you needed. I mean, chaos can't follow your everywhere, right? |
| + | |||
| + | {{DEFAULTSORT:Book of Jobs/Quotes, The}} | ||
Revision as of 08:08, June 22, 2017
- Lindsey Naegle: Mr. Simpson, it looks like you've invented a new bakery treat! Half fritter, half macaroon. We call them "Frittaroons!"
- Marge: Lindsey Naegle? What are you doing here?
- Lindsey Naegle: Hello, Marge! I'm always on the hunt for new innovative ideas and ways to "Zuckerberg" my way into a creator credit.
- Homer: Brad and Neil from Powersauce?
- Neil: That's us!
- Brad: Actually, we had to stop selling Powersauce bars since the FDA discredited all of our claims.
- Neil: But now we have anew idea that is guaranteed to work. The neanderthal diet. You can only eat foods that a caveman would eat!
- Brad: And your body type makes your the perfect before model!
- Neil: We need you eat meat!
- Brad: Lots and lots of meat
- Homer: Woo-hoo!
- Brad: Sadly, you can't eat Fritaroons on the Neanderthal diet! No carbs.
- Homer: D-d-d'oh!
- Homer: I've got to say, Marge. Helping others felt pretty good!
- Marge: Then keep doing it! You get so many different job offers that you could start your own employment office.
- Homer: Really?
- Marge: Yes! And it's a lot safer than running wild with your usual ideas.
- Homer: Okay! I just texted Mr. Smithers and quit my job!
- Marge: Homer, you didn't have to do that.
- Homer: They'll have to hire someone new to replace me. See, Marge? I'm already creating jobs for this city!
- Marge: Hrmmm...
- Comic Book Guy: Bwa-ha-ha! I feel like a god! Like Mastermind, The Pupper Master or The Anti-Life equation... I control Springfield's every move!
- Rich Texan: Mr. Simpson, you worked real hard this past week. My insurance company desperately could use a man like you! We'd like you to be our new claims adjuster.
- Homer: What does that mean?
- Rich Texan: You figure out how much yo pay our customers if they ever get in an accident! It's a nice, cushy desk job! Bang bang!
- Homer: Can I, Marge? It's always been my dream to work in the insurance industry!
- Marge: Go right ahead. Maybe a conformable, stable job is just what you needed. I mean, chaos can't follow your everywhere, right?
