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- Flanders: "Look, I called the police captain in Shelbyville and he said he hadn't seen them. But if they show up in the morgue, he's gonna fax us."
- Bart: "And now I'm going to teach some kids a lesson."
- Marge: "I choose to take that literally."
- Bart: "Death to Shelbyville!"
- Homer: "Yes, Bart's a tutor now. Tute on, son! Tute on!"
- Todd: "Danger coming! Behind us!"
- Milhouse: "That kid said radical. I say radical! That's the thing that I say!"
- Martin: "A car impound lot. The impenetrable fortress of suburbia."
- Bart: "Eat my shorts, Shelbyville!"
- Homer: "Yeah, Shelbyville,eat my shorts!"
- Ned: "Yes, eat all of our shirts!"
- Homer: This is the darkest day in Springfield history, If anyone wants me I'll be in the shower.