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Difference between revisions of "Your Horrorscope"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
 
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{{Table|
 
{{Table|
 
{{TH|Image|width=150px}}
 
{{TH|Image|width=150px}}
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{{TH|Name|width=150px}}
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{{TH|Sign<br>Duration|width=150px}}
 
{{TH|Horroscope}}
 
{{TH|Horroscope}}
 
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Aquarius.png|200px]]}}
 
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Aquarius.png|200px]]}}
−
{{TB|'''Aquarius'''}}
+
{{TB|'''Aquarius'''<br>(4:00pm–6:00pm)}}
 
{{TB|Bringer of jollity. Spirits are lifted when you are near. Warm and compassionate, other people often bring their troubles to you.<br>'''This week:''' [[Mars]] and several dozen other planets will enter your house. Be sure to spread your own brand of happiness. It will prove to be very rewarding.}}
 
{{TB|Bringer of jollity. Spirits are lifted when you are near. Warm and compassionate, other people often bring their troubles to you.<br>'''This week:''' [[Mars]] and several dozen other planets will enter your house. Be sure to spread your own brand of happiness. It will prove to be very rewarding.}}
 
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Pisces.png|200px]]}}
 
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Pisces.png|200px]]}}
−
{{TB|'''Pisces'''}}
+
{{TB|'''Pisces'''<br>(Nine–Five)}}
−
{{TB|You posses a high level of intelligence, although that may be difficult for other to perceive. Your relationship can be a bit of an engigma at times.<br>'''This week:''' The moon is a little wobbly in its orbit. Your situation is stable and yet unpredicatble. Look to aquarius to find real satisfaction.}}
+
{{TB|You possess a high level of intelligence, although that may be difficult for others to perceive. Your relationship can be a bit of an enigma at times.<br>'''This week:''' The Moon is a little wobbly in its orbit. Your situation is stable and yet unpredictable. Look to Aquarius to find real satisfaction.}}
 
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Aries.png|200px]]}}
 
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Aries.png|200px]]}}
−
{{TB|'''Aries'''}}
+
{{TB|'''Aries'''<br>([[Edinburgh]]–[[Glasgow]])}}
 
{{TB|You tend to be called upon to clean up problems caused by others. You do this with great fortitude and tenacity.<br>'''This week:''' {{ap|Jupiter|planet}} is in your house today, and that means there will be plenty of extra mopping up to do. Libra may have brought about this situation.}}
 
{{TB|You tend to be called upon to clean up problems caused by others. You do this with great fortitude and tenacity.<br>'''This week:''' {{ap|Jupiter|planet}} is in your house today, and that means there will be plenty of extra mopping up to do. Libra may have brought about this situation.}}
−
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Leo.png|200px]]}}
 
−
{{TB|'''Leo'''}}
 
−
{{TB|You are a forceful leader and command respect from all you encounter. Experience may have hardened you, but you still have the ability to make other people feel rotten.<br>'''This week:''' Pluto is in the farthest reaches of the solar system. Early career goals may seem more remote than ever, but there is much to love about your present situation.}}
 
−
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Virgo.png|200px]]}}
 
−
{{TB|'''Virgo'''}}
 
−
{{TB|You are often surrounded by children, but this merely underscores the fact that you ahve none. The ticking of your biological clock keeps you awake at night.<br>'''This week:''' Make the best use of the materials available at your workplace if you wish to maintain your sitatuion, no matter how wrong it may seem.}}
 
−
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Libra.png|200px]]}}
 
−
{{TB|'''Libra'''}}
 
−
{{TB|You are unflappable despite the great responsibility of your position. You feed the hears and mins of the children you serve.<br>'''This week:''' Make the best use of the materials available at your workplace if you wish to maintain your situation, no matter how wrong it may seem.}}
 
 
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Taurus.png|200px]]}}
 
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Taurus.png|200px]]}}
−
{{TB|'''Taurus'''}}
+
{{TB|'''Taurus'''<br>(Coffee Break–Coffee Break)}}
 
{{TB|A tireless protector of the people, you have devoted your life to righting the wrongs of society. Once in a great while you actually do something useful.<br>'''This week:''' Though some of the sweeter things in life may prove to be a distraction, try to keep your mind focused on your daily pursuits.}}
 
{{TB|A tireless protector of the people, you have devoted your life to righting the wrongs of society. Once in a great while you actually do something useful.<br>'''This week:''' Though some of the sweeter things in life may prove to be a distraction, try to keep your mind focused on your daily pursuits.}}
 
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Gemini.png|200px]]}}
 
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Gemini.png|200px]]}}
−
{{TB|'''Gemini'''}}
+
{{TB|'''Gemini'''<br>(June 1st –May 31st)}}
 
{{TB|You are fiercely protective of the ones you love, much to their eternal distress. Children respect you and keep their distance.<br>'''This week:''' Romance is not in the stars this week. Nor next week. Or the week after that. Maybe you should find a hobby instead.}}
 
{{TB|You are fiercely protective of the ones you love, much to their eternal distress. Children respect you and keep their distance.<br>'''This week:''' Romance is not in the stars this week. Nor next week. Or the week after that. Maybe you should find a hobby instead.}}
 
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Cancer.png|200px]]}}
 
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Cancer.png|200px]]}}
−
{{TB|'''Cancer'''}}
+
{{TB|'''Cancer'''<br>({{W|Golden Age of Comic Books|Golden Age}}–{{W|Silver Age of Comic Books|Silver Age}})}}
−
{{TB|To many you are considered to be the keeper of wisdom from ages past. Young people are drawn to you and look to you for their spirtual needs.<br>'''This week:''' Do not allow sentiment to dilute your finely tuned business sense. If god had not wanted them sheared, he would not have made them sheep.}}
+
{{TB|To many you are considered to be the keeper of wisdom from ages past. Young people are drawn to you and look to you for their spiritual needs.<br>'''This week:''' Do not allow sentiment to dilute your finely tuned business sense. If [[God]] had not wanted them sheared, he would not have made them sheep.}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Leo.png|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''Leo''' <br>(Late Afternoon Reruns–National News Feed)}}
 +
{{TB|You are a forceful leader and command respect from all you encounter. Experience may have hardened you, but you still have the ability to make other people feel rotten.<br>'''This week:''' Pluto is in the farthest reaches of the solar system. Early career goals may seem more remote than ever, but there is much to love about your present situation.}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Virgo.png|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''Virgo'''<br>(Here–Eternity)}}
 +
{{TB|You are often surrounded by children, but this merely underscores the fact that you have none. The ticking of your biological clock keeps you awake at night.<br>'''This week:'''{{W|Alpha Centauri}} will go retrograde. Expect another relationship to [[Hindenburg disaster|go down like the Hindenburg]]. Sagittarius may be the one you are seeking.}}
 +
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Libra.png|200px]]}}
 +
{{TB|'''Libra'''<br>(September 6th–June 21st)}}
 +
{{TB|You are unflappable despite the great responsibility of your position. You feed the hearts and minds of the children you serve.<br>'''This week:''' Make the best use of the materials available at your workplace if you wish to maintain your situation, no matter how wrong it may seem.}}
 
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Scorpio.png|200px]]}}
 
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Scorpio.png|200px]]}}
−
{{TB|'''Scorpio'''}}
+
{{TB|'''Scorpio'''<br>(10 Years)}}
−
{{TB|Youre endevaors often capture the attention of the authorities. This makes you one of the most sought after individuals in your community.<br>'''This week:''' You will be in [[Saturn]]'s house, and Saturn won't like it. Plans may go awry and end up restricting your future activities. Avoid taurus.}}
+
{{TB|Your endeavors often capture the attention of the authorities. This makes you one of the most sought after individuals in your community.<br>'''This week:''' You will be in [[Saturn]]'s house, and Saturn won't like it. Plans may go awry and end up restricting your future activities. Avoid Taurus.}}
 
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Sagittarius.png|200px]]}}
 
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Sagittarius.png|200px]]}}
−
{{TB|'''Sagittarius'''}}
+
{{TB|'''Sagittarius'''<br>(Baptism–Final Reward)}}
 
{{TB|Your true spirit is a mystery to those in your orbit. Friends may consider you to be helpful one day and enormously irritating the next.<br>'''This week:''' [[Uranus]] is in {{ap|Neptune|planet}}'s garage, borrowing his power mower. Be forgiving of others when they repeatedly take advantage of your kind and loving nature.}}
 
{{TB|Your true spirit is a mystery to those in your orbit. Friends may consider you to be helpful one day and enormously irritating the next.<br>'''This week:''' [[Uranus]] is in {{ap|Neptune|planet}}'s garage, borrowing his power mower. Be forgiving of others when they repeatedly take advantage of your kind and loving nature.}}
 
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Capricorn.png|200px]]}}
 
{{TBT|[[File:Your Horroscope Capricorn.png|200px]]}}
−
{{TB|'''Capricorn'''}}
+
{{TB|'''Capricorn'''<br>(College–Retirement)}}
−
{{TB|Your obsequousness has earned you a position of great importance in your town. Always the public servant, you can often be seen assisting the elderly.<br>'''This week:''' Venus will collide with Mercuy. This does not bode well for personal realationships. If unrequited love robs you of your rest, get over it.}}
+
{{TB|Your obsequiousness has earned you a position of great importance in your town. Always the public servant, you can often be seen assisting the elderly.<br>'''This week:''' Venus will collide with Mercury. This does not bode well for personal relationships. If unrequited love robs you of your rest, get over it.}}
 
}}
 
}}
  
 +
== External links ==
 +
*{{Wikipedialink|Horoscopic astrology}}
 
{{Images}}
 
{{Images}}
 
{{ClearAll}}
 
{{ClearAll}}

Latest revision as of 14:53, June 23, 2024

Your Horrorscope
Your Horroscope.png
Comic Story information
Released: April 2014
Comic series: Simpsons Comics
Pages: 2
Written by: Mike Kazaleh


Your Horrorscope is a horoscope first printed in Simpsons Comics #211.

Horrorscope[edit]

Image Sign
Duration 		Horroscope
Your Horroscope Aquarius.png Aquarius
(4:00pm–6:00pm) 		Bringer of jollity. Spirits are lifted when you are near. Warm and compassionate, other people often bring their troubles to you.
This week: Mars and several dozen other planets will enter your house. Be sure to spread your own brand of happiness. It will prove to be very rewarding.
Your Horroscope Pisces.png Pisces
(Nine–Five) 		You possess a high level of intelligence, although that may be difficult for others to perceive. Your relationship can be a bit of an enigma at times.
This week: The Moon is a little wobbly in its orbit. Your situation is stable and yet unpredictable. Look to Aquarius to find real satisfaction.
Your Horroscope Aries.png Aries
(Edinburgh–Glasgow) 		You tend to be called upon to clean up problems caused by others. You do this with great fortitude and tenacity.
This week: Jupiter is in your house today, and that means there will be plenty of extra mopping up to do. Libra may have brought about this situation.
Your Horroscope Taurus.png Taurus
(Coffee Break–Coffee Break) 		A tireless protector of the people, you have devoted your life to righting the wrongs of society. Once in a great while you actually do something useful.
This week: Though some of the sweeter things in life may prove to be a distraction, try to keep your mind focused on your daily pursuits.
Your Horroscope Gemini.png Gemini
(June 1st –May 31st) 		You are fiercely protective of the ones you love, much to their eternal distress. Children respect you and keep their distance.
This week: Romance is not in the stars this week. Nor next week. Or the week after that. Maybe you should find a hobby instead.
Your Horroscope Cancer.png Cancer
(Golden Age–Silver Age) 		To many you are considered to be the keeper of wisdom from ages past. Young people are drawn to you and look to you for their spiritual needs.
This week: Do not allow sentiment to dilute your finely tuned business sense. If God had not wanted them sheared, he would not have made them sheep.
Your Horroscope Leo.png Leo
(Late Afternoon Reruns–National News Feed) 		You are a forceful leader and command respect from all you encounter. Experience may have hardened you, but you still have the ability to make other people feel rotten.
This week: Pluto is in the farthest reaches of the solar system. Early career goals may seem more remote than ever, but there is much to love about your present situation.
Your Horroscope Virgo.png Virgo
(Here–Eternity) 		You are often surrounded by children, but this merely underscores the fact that you have none. The ticking of your biological clock keeps you awake at night.
This week:Alpha Centauri will go retrograde. Expect another relationship to go down like the Hindenburg. Sagittarius may be the one you are seeking.
Your Horroscope Libra.png Libra
(September 6th–June 21st) 		You are unflappable despite the great responsibility of your position. You feed the hearts and minds of the children you serve.
This week: Make the best use of the materials available at your workplace if you wish to maintain your situation, no matter how wrong it may seem.
Your Horroscope Scorpio.png Scorpio
(10 Years) 		Your endeavors often capture the attention of the authorities. This makes you one of the most sought after individuals in your community.
This week: You will be in Saturn's house, and Saturn won't like it. Plans may go awry and end up restricting your future activities. Avoid Taurus.
Your Horroscope Sagittarius.png Sagittarius
(Baptism–Final Reward) 		Your true spirit is a mystery to those in your orbit. Friends may consider you to be helpful one day and enormously irritating the next.
This week: Uranus is in Neptune's garage, borrowing his power mower. Be forgiving of others when they repeatedly take advantage of your kind and loving nature.
Your Horroscope Capricorn.png Capricorn
(College–Retirement) 		Your obsequiousness has earned you a position of great importance in your town. Always the public servant, you can often be seen assisting the elderly.
This week: Venus will collide with Mercury. This does not bode well for personal relationships. If unrequited love robs you of your rest, get over it.

External links[edit]

The Saga of Carl - title screen.png Wikisimpsons has a collection of images related to Your Horrorscope.


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