Difference between revisions of "Burns' Bucket List"
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| − | '''Burns' Bucket List''' is a list of | + | [[File:Burns' Bucket List-Title.png|right|250px]]'''Burns' Bucket List''' is a list of thirty things [[Mr. Burns]] intends to do "before I depart this earthly realm". |
| − | ==Bucket List== | + | == Bucket List == |
#Have a hurricane named after me. | #Have a hurricane named after me. | ||
#Develop a fragrance that smells like condescension. | #Develop a fragrance that smells like condescension. | ||
| Line 9: | Line 9: | ||
#Dance the "Grizzly Bear" with ZaSu Pitts one more time. | #Dance the "Grizzly Bear" with ZaSu Pitts one more time. | ||
#Discover a way to genetically modify nuclear power. | #Discover a way to genetically modify nuclear power. | ||
| − | #Complete my collection of every existing copy of ''{{ | + | #Complete my collection of every existing copy of ''{{W|Action Comics 1|Action Comics #1}}''. |
#Burn every existing copy of ''Action Comics #1'' in front of an audience at San Diego's annual comical booklet convocation. | #Burn every existing copy of ''Action Comics #1'' in front of an audience at San Diego's annual comical booklet convocation. | ||
#Write a children's book about Loafo, the little circus bear who was shipped for not giving his trainer a full forty hours of adorable bear antics per week. | #Write a children's book about Loafo, the little circus bear who was shipped for not giving his trainer a full forty hours of adorable bear antics per week. | ||
#Find a way around the minimum wage. | #Find a way around the minimum wage. | ||
| − | #Run with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain, carried on piggyback by Smithers. | + | #Run with the bulls in [[Pamplona]], [[Spain]], carried on piggyback by Smithers. |
#Buy the phrases "global warming" and "climate change" and prevent anyone from using them ever again. | #Buy the phrases "global warming" and "climate change" and prevent anyone from using them ever again. | ||
#Come up with a "Burnsie scheme" to supplant the popular "Ponzi scheme." | #Come up with a "Burnsie scheme" to supplant the popular "Ponzi scheme." | ||
| Line 25: | Line 25: | ||
#Get one of my lackeys to go slumming for me. | #Get one of my lackeys to go slumming for me. | ||
#Set up a puppet regime somewhere. | #Set up a puppet regime somewhere. | ||
| − | #Produce a remake of the film ''{{ | + | #Produce a remake of the film ''{{W|The China Syndrome}}'' that shows the positive side of a near nuclear meltdown. |
#Have my caricature done by "Vitch" and displayed on the wall of the Brown Derby eatery. | #Have my caricature done by "Vitch" and displayed on the wall of the Brown Derby eatery. | ||
#Donate $50 million to fund a study on why ppor people are staving. | #Donate $50 million to fund a study on why ppor people are staving. | ||
Latest revision as of 08:01, June 10, 2024
Bucket List[edit]
- Have a hurricane named after me.
- Develop a fragrance that smells like condescension.
- Get a tan.
- Make my first gazillion dollars.
- Own exclusive rights to the word "excellent."
- Dance the "Grizzly Bear" with ZaSu Pitts one more time.
- Discover a way to genetically modify nuclear power.
- Complete my collection of every existing copy of Action Comics #1.
- Burn every existing copy of Action Comics #1 in front of an audience at San Diego's annual comical booklet convocation.
- Write a children's book about Loafo, the little circus bear who was shipped for not giving his trainer a full forty hours of adorable bear antics per week.
- Find a way around the minimum wage.
- Run with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain, carried on piggyback by Smithers.
- Buy the phrases "global warming" and "climate change" and prevent anyone from using them ever again.
- Come up with a "Burnsie scheme" to supplant the popular "Ponzi scheme."
- Enter into a wagering compact with a fellow billionaire to ruin Smithers and elevate a common hoodlum to his position in order to prove something or other.
- Clone the extinct Tasmanian tiger from DNA, hunt it, kill it, and have its head mounted and hung on my wall.
- Buy the Environmental Protection Agency and rename it the Environmental Profit Administration.
- Exact my revenge on Maggie Simpson.
- Declare the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant a right-to-work state.
- Have my spine taken out and oiled.
- Say "Release the hounds!" over the public address system at the start of the Belmont dog races.
- Get one of my lackeys to go slumming for me.
- Set up a puppet regime somewhere.
- Produce a remake of the film The China Syndrome that shows the positive side of a near nuclear meltdown.
- Have my caricature done by "Vitch" and displayed on the wall of the Brown Derby eatery.
- Donate $50 million to fund a study on why ppor people are staving.
- Have my middle name legally changed to "Warbucks."
- Nail the euphonium solo from the "Shoe Tickler Rag."
- Keep a meal down completely.
- Determine once and for all how many houses I own.
