Difference between revisions of "Bring Your Parents to School Day/Quotes"
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| − | + | {{qf|[[Principal Skinner]]}} ''[on intercom]'' Welcome, everyone, to "Bring Your Parents to School" day. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Agnes Skinner]]}} ''[also on intercom, interrupting]'' Seymour, sit up straight and enunciate your words. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Principal Skinner}} ''[apparently struggling with Agnes for control of the mike]'' Mother, I'm talking ... Let go, Mother. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Agnes Skinner}} Now you're spitting all over the microphone! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Principal Skinner}} ''[indignant]'' I am '''not''' spitting! | |
:''[Everyone in the classroom laughs, except Mrs. Krabappel, who looks annoyed.]'' | :''[Everyone in the classroom laughs, except Mrs. Krabappel, who looks annoyed.]'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
:''[As the school day gets underway at 8 a.m., [[Bart]] gives [[Homer]] the lowdown on how to behave in class.]'' | :''[As the school day gets underway at 8 a.m., [[Bart]] gives [[Homer]] the lowdown on how to behave in class.]'' | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Bart]]}} Just don't make eye contact with the teacher. That's how I make it through the day without having to answer questions. And above all else, don't embarrass me! | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} No worries, boy. It'll be like shooting pork in a barrel. | |
---- | ---- | ||
:''[At 9 a.m., [[Homer]] has interrupted a class discussion to go on a tirade about {{w|Gilligan's Island}}.]'' | :''[At 9 a.m., [[Homer]] has interrupted a class discussion to go on a tirade about {{w|Gilligan's Island}}.]'' | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} You'd want to get off that island too if some fat guy kept hitting you with his hat and calling you his "Little Buddy"?! | |
| − | :''[ | + | :''[everyone in the classroom laughs, except ...]'' |
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} ''[embarrassed, envisioning Homer as an ape]'' Dad! We're talking about the War of 1812. | |
---- | ---- | ||
:''[An hour later, [[Homer]] has again interrupted the discussion, this time to tell a fart joke.]'' | :''[An hour later, [[Homer]] has again interrupted the discussion, this time to tell a fart joke.]'' | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} ''[finishing his joke]'' ... and then I said, "Listen, [[Barney]], whoever smelt it, dealt it!" ''[laughing loudly]'' Wha, Ha, Ha, Ha! | |
:''[Unlike Homer's previous interruption, no one is laughing this time.]'' | :''[Unlike Homer's previous interruption, no one is laughing this time.]'' | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} ''[pleading, mortified, envisioning Homer as a braying donkey]'' Homer, shut up! | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''[ | + | :''[tt's now 11 a.m. and [[Homer]] needs a bathroom break, but he has a problem.]'' |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} ''[struggling to get up from his desk]'' Help, Bart! Help! I'm stuck, and I have to go to the little boys' room! | |
| − | :''[ | + | :''[now seeing Homer as an elephant, [[Bart]] puts his head in his hands and groans.]'' |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''[ | + | :''[lunchtime has come and gone for most of the school, but not for [[Homer]], even though it's now 1 p.m. With his back to the room, he bends over a bowl full of food scraps and eagerly devours them.]'' |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Can you believe it? ''[snarfs down a mouthful of scraps]'' The [[Lunchlady Dora|lunch lady]] was going to throw all these leftovers away! ''[snorts]'' What a sweet deal! ''[burps]'' | |
:''['''Everyone''' in the room is disgusted with Homer, including [[Ned Flanders]], who holds up a cross in a warding-off gesture directed at Homer's posterior. [[Bart]] is not only disgusted but also even more embarrassed, as he now envisions Homer as a pig.]'' | :''['''Everyone''' in the room is disgusted with Homer, including [[Ned Flanders]], who holds up a cross in a warding-off gesture directed at Homer's posterior. [[Bart]] is not only disgusted but also even more embarrassed, as he now envisions Homer as a pig.]'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
:''[By 2 p.m., [[Homer]] has fallen asleep and is snoring loudly, annoying everyone in the room. [[Bart]], with his head down on his desk, now sees Homer as a hibernating bear.]'' | :''[By 2 p.m., [[Homer]] has fallen asleep and is snoring loudly, annoying everyone in the room. [[Bart]], with his head down on his desk, now sees Homer as a hibernating bear.]'' | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} Will this day '''never''' end? | |
---- | ---- | ||
:''[The next day, [[Mrs. Krabappel]] returns some graded reports to the class. [[Bart]]'s has received a grade of C+.]'' | :''[The next day, [[Mrs. Krabappel]] returns some graded reports to the class. [[Bart]]'s has received a grade of C+.]'' | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Mrs. Krabappel]]}} Bart, I must say I'm surprised how well you did on your report on "The Similarities between Man and Beast"! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} ''[sheepishly]'' Let's just say I had some unexpected inspiration, Mrs. K. | |
Revision as of 11:20, May 8, 2021
- Principal Skinner: [on intercom] Welcome, everyone, to "Bring Your Parents to School" day.
- Agnes Skinner: [also on intercom, interrupting] Seymour, sit up straight and enunciate your words.
- Principal Skinner: [apparently struggling with Agnes for control of the mike] Mother, I'm talking ... Let go, Mother.
- Agnes Skinner: Now you're spitting all over the microphone!
- Principal Skinner: [indignant] I am not spitting!
- [Everyone in the classroom laughs, except Mrs. Krabappel, who looks annoyed.]
- [As the school day gets underway at 8 a.m., Bart gives Homer the lowdown on how to behave in class.]
- Bart: Just don't make eye contact with the teacher. That's how I make it through the day without having to answer questions. And above all else, don't embarrass me!
- Homer: No worries, boy. It'll be like shooting pork in a barrel.
- [At 9 a.m., Homer has interrupted a class discussion to go on a tirade about Gilligan's Island.]
- Homer: You'd want to get off that island too if some fat guy kept hitting you with his hat and calling you his "Little Buddy"?!
- [everyone in the classroom laughs, except ...]
- Bart: [embarrassed, envisioning Homer as an ape] Dad! We're talking about the War of 1812.
- [An hour later, Homer has again interrupted the discussion, this time to tell a fart joke.]
- Homer: [finishing his joke] ... and then I said, "Listen, Barney, whoever smelt it, dealt it!" [laughing loudly] Wha, Ha, Ha, Ha!
- [Unlike Homer's previous interruption, no one is laughing this time.]
- Bart: [pleading, mortified, envisioning Homer as a braying donkey] Homer, shut up!
- [tt's now 11 a.m. and Homer needs a bathroom break, but he has a problem.]
- Homer: [struggling to get up from his desk] Help, Bart! Help! I'm stuck, and I have to go to the little boys' room!
- [now seeing Homer as an elephant, Bart puts his head in his hands and groans.]
- [lunchtime has come and gone for most of the school, but not for Homer, even though it's now 1 p.m. With his back to the room, he bends over a bowl full of food scraps and eagerly devours them.]
- Homer: Can you believe it? [snarfs down a mouthful of scraps] The lunch lady was going to throw all these leftovers away! [snorts] What a sweet deal! [burps]
- [Everyone in the room is disgusted with Homer, including Ned Flanders, who holds up a cross in a warding-off gesture directed at Homer's posterior. Bart is not only disgusted but also even more embarrassed, as he now envisions Homer as a pig.]
- [By 2 p.m., Homer has fallen asleep and is snoring loudly, annoying everyone in the room. Bart, with his head down on his desk, now sees Homer as a hibernating bear.]
- Bart: Will this day never end?
- [The next day, Mrs. Krabappel returns some graded reports to the class. Bart's has received a grade of C+.]
- Mrs. Krabappel: Bart, I must say I'm surprised how well you did on your report on "The Similarities between Man and Beast"!
- Bart: [sheepishly] Let's just say I had some unexpected inspiration, Mrs. K.
