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Cards Are Read, Marge's Hair is Blue

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Cards Are Read, Marge's Hair is Blue
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 5
Update: Valentine's Day 2014
Requirement(s): myPad
Slack-Jawed Yokel Pt. 2
Required characters: Krusty, Homer, Ned, Mindy, Lisa, Marge

Cards Are Read, Marge's Hair is Blue is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Valentine's Day 2014 content update.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After starting the update
Lisa You know, Dad. Valentine's Day is coming up. Perhaps this year you could do something romantic for Mom.
Homer - Sarcastic What are you talking about? My Valentine's gifts are always romantic.
Lisa There's nothing romantic about sweatpants with the word "Juicy" on the butt.
Homer It's sexy! Tons of off-duty starlets wear them.
Lisa Not with the "Juicy" written in marker pen.
Homer But women like handmade gifts!
Lisa No, that's just something we say.
Homer - Happy Fine, I'll stop by Cletus's farm and get her some roses.
Lisa - Happy *gasp* You're buying from a local farmer? My browbeating paid off!
Lisa Just when I thought I was coming off as strident, you've encouraged me to hector more than ever.
Homer Yippee.
Task: "Reach Level 6 and Build Cletus's Farm".
Task: "Harvest Valentine's Roses". The job takes 24 hours.
Message Each time you harvest Valentine's Roses, a Rose Bush will be placed in your inventory.
Homer Okay, I got roses. Valentine's gift... done!
Lisa - Annoyed Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Roses are just an accompaniment. They're like a side dish.
Lisa You still need to get something big, like jewelry or a weekend get-away, as the entrée.
Homer Great, now I have to go shopping. And dining. Your analogy made me hungry.
Quest reward: Heart.png200 and XP.png10

Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
Krusty Hey hey, it's Valentine's Day! Your chance to tell that special someone in your life...
Krusty ...and all the unknown weirdos you friended to get your numbers up...
Krusty ...that you acknowledge their existence - in order to get free stuff on a phone game!
Krusty And here's something totally new – The "Wheel of Friendship!"
Homer Wait, isn't that the same wheel you put out for Christmas?
Krusty No, that wheel was totally rigged. This one is only a little bit rigged. Also, it's pink!
Homer Just like the thousands of donuts I intend to burn through buying spins for it.
Task: "Spin the Wheel of Friendship".
Krusty Great spinning! You are one step closer to getting the Tunnel of Love ride in Krustyland.
Marge I usually don't like theme parks because they're loud and their rides are whiplashy, but I might actually go to Krustyland if it had a Tunnel of Love!
Krusty And isn't that what we're all looking for? The female demographic! Get to work! Get that Tunnel of Love! Get chicks to come to Krustyland!
Quest reward: Heart.png50 and XP.png10

Next Quest: Where's the Love?

Pt. 3[edit]

Previous Quest: Where's the Love?
After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Homer C'mon, stupid friends! Give me Valentines! Show me how much you love me, you stupid, stupid jerks!
Ned Well hi-diddely ho, Homer-eeno. I'd be glad to show you just how much your friendship means to me!
Homer Stupid Flanders. Shut up and hand over the Valentines!
Ned I'll do you even better than a Valentine.
Homer - Scared No! NO! I don't want better! Noooooo!
Task: "Make Ned Sing a Valentine's Ditty". The job takes 6 hours.
Quest reward: Heart.png50 and XP.png10

Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Homer Hey Lisa, I thought of an amazing Valentine present for your mom – dinner at a restaurant she's never been to.
Lisa Hmm, that's nice... but I wouldn't call it "amazing."
Homer And I'm going to build that restaurant from scratch in twenty four hours.
Lisa Okay, that is pretty amazing.
Task: "Build Madame Chao's". It takes 24 hours.
Build: Madame Chao's
Homer Hello there! I'd like to book a romantic dinner for Valentine's Day.
French Waiter - Host I regret we are fully booked for Valentine's Day.
Homer What?!
French Waiter - Host It's a fancy way of saying, "You Not Eat Here."
Homer - Angry But I just built this place! How can you be fully booked?!
French Waiter - Host Yes, Sir, I agree it is unlikely. It almost seems like I'm just saying that because we don't serve your kind.
Homer What?!
French Waiter - Host "Your Kind": loutish, impolite, cheap-os.
French Waiter - Host Thank you so much for leaving now.
New Character: Mindy
Quest reward: Heart.png50 and XP.png10

Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Homer - Angry Stupid restaurant! I think they were still mad about the stuff I tracked in that we thought was dog poop but turned out to be much, much worse.
Lenny Homer, stop telling the "I couldn't get a reservation story" already.
Carl Yeah, usually, we like inane chatter but that is, like, criminally inane.
Mindy Hi, Homer! It's me, Mindy! I'm working here again. It's great to see you.
Homer Blerf...
Mindy Um, okay. Guess I'll see you around. Bye!
Homer Blerf!
Lenny Hey, Homer, isn't she the woman to whom you had an unnaturally strong physical attraction?
Carl The only woman who made you question your love for Marge?
Homer Blerf blerf. Blerf be-blerf blerf, blerf.
Lenny Oopsie, looks like she short-circuited his brain, should we do something?
Carl Nah, he'll tell the restaurant story again. Just push him over to his console, he'll be fine.
Task: "Reach Level 11 and Build the Control Building".
Task: "Make Homer Work a Plant Shift". The job takes place at the Control Building and takes 16 hours.
Task: "Make Mindy Work a Plant Shift". The job takes place at the Control Building and takes 16 hours.
Mindy Oh hi, Homer! Imagine meeting you here. Small world, huh?
Homer Even smaller elevator.
Mindy Hmm, now that your face is inches away from mine I can see you look sad. What's wrong?
Homer I'm trying to do something nice for Marge for Valentine's Day and well, it's frustrating.
Mindy - Shocked So, you're still married?
Homer Pretty much, yeah.
Mindy Well, I've got an idea that will solve all your problems.
Quest reward: Heart.png50 and XP.png10

Pt. 6[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Mindy So, Homer did you think about what we talked about?
Homer - Sad I don't know... I'm not really that kind of guy.
Mindy That's what makes it so perfect! Marge will never suspect!
Mindy Look, just think about it. While you do, I'll ride my motorcycle all around town.
Homer *groan* Are you gonna look cool while you do it?
Mindy Probably.
Homer *groan*
Task: "Make Mindy Ride Motorcycle". The job takes 24 hours.
Homer Okay, Mindy. I've thought it over. I'm in!
Mindy Woo hoo!
Quest reward: Heart.png50 and XP.png10

Pt. 7[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Homer Okay, I can't believe we're actually gonna do this. I'll go pick up some champagne.
Mindy And I'll scope out a secluded spot on the beach. It'll give me a chance to work on my tan.
Task: "Have a Beach Expansion".
Task: "Have a Beach Chair".
Task: "Make Mindy Work on Tan". The job takes place at a Beach Chair and takes 12 hours.
Task: "Make Homer Buy Champagne". The job takes place at a Kwik-E-Mart and takes 12 hours.
After sending Mindy on her task.
Mindy I guess you could have a picnic on this beach, if you have a blanket thick enough to protect you from hypodermic needles. And wild dogs.
After sending Homer on his task.
Homer Apu, give me a bottle of your finest convenience store champagne!
Apu Certainly, I will go in the back and make you a fresh bottle while you wait.
Homer Oooo! Custom Champagne!
Apu I'll just grab this box of wine and these fizzy cold medicine tablets and be right back.
When the tasks are completed.
Homer Apu's champagne tastes terrible. Though it did relieve my sneezing, coughing, stuffy head, and fever.
Mindy The beach was a bust too. There's a huge bum fight going on. I think it's some kind of championship.
Homer - Sad Maybe it just wasn't meant to be.
Mindy Oh, you know I'm not going to accept that.
Quest reward: Heart.png50 and XP.png10

Pt. 8[edit]

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
Lisa Dad, where are you going? Why are you all dressed up?
Homer I'm heading to Madame Chao's with Mindy.
Lisa - Sad Shouldn't you be planning a Valentine's surprise for Mom instead of eating a romantic lunch with this co-worker woman?
Homer Lisa, don't you think I can do two things at once? It's called two-timing and I happen to be great at it.
Task: "Make Homer Eat at Madame Chao's". The job takes place at Madame Chao's and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Mindy Eat at Madame Chao's". The job takes place at Madame Chao's and takes 4 hours.
Mindy Isn't everything delicious? By the way, Homer, you smell great!
Homer I tried something new - a shower. I hope that doesn't tip Marge off!
Lisa Look at him showered, eating with utensils, cheating on Mom. What's happening to Dad?
Quest reward: Heart.png50 and XP.png10

Pt. 9[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Homer Tonight's the night. Are you ready to do it?
Mindy I don't know what you're waiting for, big guy! Let's do it right now!
Lisa Oh my God! Right here? Now, while I'm spying on them? I can feel the psychological scars forming!
Mindy Okay, step one: Get that wife of yours out of the house.
Homer Perfect! You know, you're pretty romantic when you want to be.
Lisa - Sad What the heck?!
Task: "Reach Level 15 and Build Moe's Tavern".
Task: "Make Marge Go for a Romantic Stroll with Homer". The job takes 5 hours.
Quest reward: Heart.png50 and XP.png10

Pt. 10[edit]

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
Lisa Stop right there, Dad. This has gone far enough! You have to tell Mom what's going on between you and that Mindy woman!
Homer - Scared But Lisa, Marge isn't supposed to know about what's going on between me and Mindy!
Marge - Angry WHAT?!
Homer Mindy was helping me plan a romantic picnic on the beach but the beach was dangerous and the champagne was gross but surprisingly still very drinkable.
Lisa But what about the date you had with her at that restaurant?
Homer We were picking up food for dinner tonight, but we knew the only way to keep me from eating it all on the way home, was for me to eat a huge lunch at the restaurant.
Homer Right now, while we're strolling, Mindy is setting up a romantic picnic dinner at our house, with no wild dogs, or bums. Unless she really strays from the plan we made.
Marge Oh, Homer, you are such a good Valentine! Thank you!
Lisa I'm sorry Dad. It's just the dialogue between you and Mindy was so... misleading. Almost intentionally so.
Homer Misleading?! You're crazy. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to leave your mother.
Lisa What?!
Homer And flower her. You know, give her a bouquet of leaves and flowers. What did you think I meant?
Lisa Grrrrr.
Task: "Make Homer Go on a Valentine's Date with Marge". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 8 hours.
Marge This was wonderful, Homer. Happy Valentine's Day.
Homer You too, Sweetie. And since it's all take out, you don't have to clean up. We can just let the dog eat the paper plates.
Marge Um, I'll just throw them in the trash.
Homer You crazy romantic kook, you.
Homer - Kissing *smooch*
Marge - Kissing *smooch*
Quest reward: Heart.png200 and XP.png10