• Wikisimpsons needs more Featured Article, Picture, Quote, Episode and Comprehensive article nominations!
  • Wikisimpsons has a Discord server! Click here for your invite! Join to talk about the wiki, Simpsons and Tapped Out news, or just to talk to other users.
  • Make an account! It's easy, free, and your work on the wiki can be attributed to you.

Willie: Portrait of a Groundskeeper/Quotes

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki

Milhouse Van Houten: Here comes Skinner!
Bart: He hates buxom pseudo-celebrity hotties! Quick! Rip that order form out and ditch the magazine!
Principal Skinner: Willie, the urinal cake quota in the boys lavatory is unacceptable and... good god! A men's publication full of buxom pseudo-celebrities! I could not be more enraged! I'm terribly upset!

Groundskeeper Willie: Don't ye sass me, Ralph Macchio lunch box! Oh! yer right! I'm a worthless piece o' crap! I was never loved! Why must ye point out muh every flaw, lunch box?! I'm so lonely! Every day I wonder why I don't take great grandpappy's bagpipes and stab the reeds into muh eyes until they penetrate muh brain!

Delivery man: Delivery for Groundskeeper Willie.
Willie: Aye, I'm Willie, ya bespectacled, panty wearin', biscuit maker!
Delivery man: Sir, I don't wear glasses and I've never made biscuits in my life. Sign here please.

Professor Frink: Good god, man! The physiological difficulties of a human and emu union make this scenario even more improbable than the South African water buffalo jaguar cross-breeding of 1809 [gah-hey!!]

Homer: You're eating my wife in front of me! And she looks so sweet and juicy, you greedy bastard!