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Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki

Ned Flanders: Help! I'm falling into a bottomless abyss! Lord, pleaes don't let me drop into Satan's jacuzzi! Tell me where I wen't wrong!
Raphael: Your father isn't going to soil that carpet, is he?
Todd Flanders: It's his astigmatism.
Rod Flanders: We've prayed for it go away.
Ned: Show me the way, lord!

Ned: Boys, I'm sorry for that kafuffle back at the carpet store.
Rod: It's okay, dad.
Ned: Thanks, Rod. I guess I'm not much of a Rug Wrangler. Being a single parent means I have to be a mommy and a addady.
Rod: Like Rupaul?
Ned: No, not like that! Picking out rugs and furniture and dishes was your mom's job. I'm still trying to fill her shoes. Not that I'm waring your mom's shoes or—Wha--?! That woman...! She looks like... ...Maude? --Maude? -Maude? No... no....

Ned: This isn't the place I was thinking of.
Homer: Two cold and frosties. Put 'em on Ned's tab.
Ned: I don't have a tab here.
Homer: Let's talk about that later. Tell the boys your problem.
Moe Szyslak: Your pal here has run up a serious tab, Homer!
Homer: Quiet, Ned's talking.
Moe: You said he'd pay up when you brought him in.
Ned: Well, it's like this, gentlemen.. ...my wife diead a while back. Don't know if you remember that.
Lenny Leonard: Sure do, I got a t-shirt that day.
Ned: Well, I thought I was over the trief period... ...but the other day I thought I saw Maude.
Carl Carlson: Saw Maude? Like a ghost?
Ned: No.
Zombie: Like a zombie?
Ned: No.
Lenny: Like a sexy robot sent from the future?
Ned: I don't think so.

Ned: This is the same time of day as when I saw her yesterday. She either works near here or lives near here, right?
Homer: Mm-hmm!
Ned: Keep your peepers peeled, Homer. Sing out if you spot here.
Homer: Ooh! Ooh!
Ned: What is it? Did you see her?
Homer: No... brain freeze... ...frontal lobes. icebound.
Ned: There! There she is!
Homer: Oh, I'm sorry, Ned... ...she's really let herself go.
Ned: No! There! We'll follow her!
Homer: A car chase? I call shoutgun!

Ned: Do I feel like a silly willy, thinking that anyone could replace maude.
Homer: Bea Arthur? Where?
Ned: But I guess there was a reason for all of this. Maybe this will set that carbon copy Maude on the path to a better life.
Homer: You said it, handsome stranger.