Uncivil War: Bartman v. Houseboy/Quotes
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- Flossie: Do you bleed?
- Houseboy: Huh?
- Flossie: Because if your gums are bleeding due to poor dental hygiene, you need to start flossing every day! Take it from me... Flossie, the floss industry mascot!
- Houseboy: Sorry, I thought you were my sidekick, Bartman!
- Bartman: Okay, for the last time, Bartman is the hero, Houseboy is the sidekick!
- Houseboy: That's not fair!
- Bartman: No one ever said things would be fair!
- Houseboy: It's on our business card!
- Chief Wiggum: Attention, all super people! Free ice cream for anyone who reveals their secret identities to the police!
- Bartman: Ha! Nice try, Chief Wiggum! But a secret identity is a sacred to a superhero as--
- Houseboy: I'm Milhouse van Houten, and I got to Springfield Elementary!
- Chief Wiggum: My boy Ralphie goes there! Here's your free ice cream!
- Bartman: Don't do this, Houseboy!
- Houseboy: You never respected me! Maybe now the Police department will!
- Chief Wiggum: Hey you, the little dorky hero! Just let me know Bartman's real name!
- Bartman: You do, and I'll tell the school about the time you wet the bed.
- Houseboy: Big deal.
- Bartman: I mean the time you wet Nelson's bed!
- Bartman: Lisa, I need a bunch of kid superheroes to join me!
- Lisa: Ooooh, sorry. I just read about the big fight on the super message boards. Most of the heroes have all joined up with Houseboy. Ice cream! and Chief Wiggum is giving them all an actual get out of jail free gift certificate.
- Bartman: What? Why?! Well, both of those are pretty sweet. How about you? I could use some help from The Jazzler.
- Comic Book Guy: "Last seen in issue five of "Simpsons Comics"!"
- Lisa: Sorry, Bart. After I joined the Sax-Men, I promised Professor Sax I wouldn't do any more solo gigs.
- Bartman: Don't worry, I'm sure I'll find someone!
- Flossie: Hold on a minute you're hiring children as your deputies? And making them work at night?
- Chief Wiggum: Yeah, what's it to you?
- Flossie: That violates the city's child labor laws! No underage person can work after six on a school night. You're in a lot of trouble.
- Chief Wiggum: What are you? A lawyer?
- Blue-haired lawyer: Yes, I am!
