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The Simpsons: Tapped Out Tragic Magic content update/Gameplay

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki

Party Woes[edit]

After the user logs in on August 16th:
Homer Marge! Wake up! It's Thursday! They're coming!
Marge Homer, the garbage men come every Thursday morning...
Homer Bart! Lisa! GET UP!
Bart Do you have to wake us up every time the stupid garbage gets picked up?
Lisa Yeah, if anything, wake me up for the recycling or compost.
Homer None of you appreciate the miracle of the garbage men...
Bart And we're fine continuing to live out our days not appreciating it.
Homer Garbage men are civilization's most prized individuals!
Bart Yawn.
Homer For millions of years, they've gone house to house, cave to cave, while humanity sleeps...
Bart and Lisa - Annoyed ...they pull up to our curbs, and take away all of our most-foul junk.
Bart We know! You say this every week!
Lisa *pointing outside* Wait, what's that giant box they're throwing into their truck?
Marge Oh no! They're throwing away the bouncy house for Maggie's birthday party!
Lisa The delivery guy must have left it too close to the trash bins!
Homer Garbage men are supposed to take all the old crap we don't want, not the new crap we NEED!
Homer Give us back our crap!
Bart Whoa! Now they're smashing it all together in their trash smusher thingy!
Homer CURSE YOU, GARBAGE MEN!
Marge Now what are we going to do for Maggie's birthday? The party's in 3 hours!
Bart Just cancel it. She won't remember.
Maggie *suck suck*
Homer That's true. You never remembered us blowing off your first birthday.
Bart Wait, what?!
Lisa Well... I could always put on a little magic show for Maggie. Kids love magic!
Marge Oh, that'd be wonderful, Lisa!
Lisa Hmm... I wonder where I left my magician's outfit...
Task: Make Lisa Look for Her Magician's Outfit (6s, Simpson House)
Task: Make Homer Chase After the Garbage Truck (6s, Simpson House)
If the user has Bart: Task: Make Bart Search for Photos of His 1st Birthday Party (6s, Simpson House)
Lisa Woo-hoo! I found my magician's outfit!
Marge Was it in the attic like I said?
Lisa No. It just magically appeared! One second it wasn't here, and then it just popped up out of thin air!
Marge Is this part of your magician's act?
Lisa My act?! Oh no! I forgot that I have to perform in front of all these kids! Ugh, it's been ages since I did magic. What if I'm terrible at it?
Homer Ooh, I'd be worried if I were you — kids these days are the harshest critics.
Lisa Um, thanks?
Homer But... these kids are way too young to speak, so it's not like they can heckle you off the stage or anything.
Lisa Well, that's a relief.
Homer They might throw their pacifiers at you though, and maybe even some diapers...
Marge Don't listen to him, honey. The only thing you have to worry about is making sure that your sister has the best birthday ever!
Lisa Wow, you guys are really terrible at boosting my confidence.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

The Greatest Trick Ever Performed[edit]

The Greatest Trick Ever Performed, Pt. 1[edit]

After completing Party Woes:
Bart Mom, Maggie's birthday is so boring! Plus, Milhouse and I were planning to take photos of Skinner's Prius and sell it online.
Marge Bart, you're staying put until the end. Also, you have to stop selling people's cars without them knowing!
Bart Hey! When I put Apu's car in the classifieds without him knowing, it sold way above its Blue Book value. He even gave me a commission!
Marge Shh... Lisa's magic show is about to start.
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Gather 'round and witness the spectacle of magic!
Maggie *suck suck*
Tapped Out Hudson Icon.png *suck suck*
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Presto! The rings, once separate, are now...
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png ...linked together!
Maggie *excited clapping*
Tapped Out Hudson Icon.png *excited clapping*
Baby Gerald *tries to pull apart his unibrow*
Marge I'm so proud of my little birthday girl. Maggie's having the best time!
Tapped Out Courtney Icon.png Yeah, and Hudson is having an amazing time too! I'm surprised, Marge. You seem to have actually put on a pretty good party.
Marge Thanks, Courtney...
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png And now, I need a volunteer. Who shall I pick?
Maggie *waves frantically*
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png You — the little lady with the red pacifier!
Maggie *crawls forward*
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png You will help me with my greatest trick yet!
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png I shall summon a horrifying monster from the great beyond, and you will banish it by throwing this mystical powder at it!
Maggie *suck suck*
Task: Collect Magic Wands [x185])
Task: Make Lisa Summon the Lard-Beast of Donuth (4h, Simpson House)
If the user has Maggie: Task: Make Maggie Banish the Beast (4h, Simpson House)
If the user has Hudson: Task: Make Hudson Watch and Be Amazed (4h, Simpson House)
If the user has Marge: Task: Make Marge Grumble About Courtney's Presence (4h, Simpson House)
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Behold, The Lard-Beast of Donuth!
Homer GROAAAR!
Maggie *suck suck*
Maggie *throws the mystical powder*
Homer AHH! Wait, is this...powdered sugar?
Homer Mmm... disappearing sugar...
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Begone, beast! *puff of smoke*
Maggie *suck suck*
Homer *eating noises*
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

The Greatest Trick Ever Performed, Pt. 2[edit]

After completing The Greatest Trick Ever Performed, Pt. 1:
Marge You did so well, Lisa! Maggie was so happy!
Lisa Aww, thanks Mom.
Cregg Demon The Great Simpsina!
Cregg Demon *puff of smoke*
Cregg Demon I've been waiting under this magical couch for you to return to the stage.
Lisa Cregg Demon, the Magicfreek? How long have you been under there?
Cregg Demon Long enough to sit through Homer attempt and reattempt to "get into" HBO's "The Wire" only to give up around the 3rd episode each time.
Homer People keep telling me it'll get good by episode 5, but why don't they just start there then?
Cregg Demon Anyway, now that you, The Great Simpsina, have returned to the stage, it's time to settle the ultimate question: which of us truly is the best magician?
Lisa Um, well, you're definitely better... I mean, I'm pretty good, but you're a professional and have your own TV show and Vegas residency...
Cregg Demon Well, I, Cregg Demon, challenge you to a magic-off! We will each perform our greatest trick and see who can Magicfreek the hardest!
Homer Abracadab-D'OH!
Bart Shouldn't it just be "Abraca-D'oh"?
Homer D'OH!
Task: Collect Magic Wands [x150])
Task: Make The Great Simpsina Perform Her Hardest Magic Trick (4h, Simpson House)
If the user has Cregg Demon: Task: Make Cregg Demon MAGICFREEK Everyone (4h, Simpson House)
If the user has Marge: Task: Make Marge Worry That This Isn't Appropriate (4h, Simpson House)
Homer So... Mr. Demon, if I give you a dollar, will you turn my glass of water into an ice-cold Duff?
Cregg Demon Dude, I'm not Jesus.
Homer I knew it! You CAN'T even do magic!
Cregg Demon Fine, here's some magic for you...
Cregg Demon MAGICFREEK!
Tapped Out Donut Homer Icon.png What?! You turned me into a donut!
Tapped Out Donut Homer Icon.png Now I'll have to stop me from eating me for the rest of my life!
Tapped Out Donut Homer Icon.png Mmmm... toroidal quandary...
Cregg Demon MAGICFREEK!
Homer Aw man, now I'm just a middle-aged loser again.
Homer Lisa, can you cheer me up by turning my water into a beer?
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Uh, I can try. Presto Beer-o?
Homer ...
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Nothing happened? Presto Beer-o! Nothing again?
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Okay, maybe this time — PRESTO BEER-O!
Homer Lisa! It's still water! Magic sucks.
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Oh no! Maybe I have the magical yips!
Cregg Demon Or... never had the skills in the first place. You know, I expected to win, but not to be bored doing it.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

The Greatest Trick Ever Performed, Pt. 3[edit]

After completing The Greatest Trick Ever Performed, Pt. 2:
Lisa I don't know why I agreed to compete against Cregg Demon! He's a professional magician! There's no way I'm going to beat him!
Homer You WILL beat him!
Homer You're going to wipe that smug eyeliner off that magicfreek!
Selma Strong words, Homer.
Patty Yeah, but you know what speaks louder than words?
Homer Louder words?
Selma Actions.
Homer Who let the vampire twins into the house?
Selma We're coded into the game. We can appear in and out of your little quests whenever we want!
Selma See? Disappear!
Selma Appear!
Homer DARK MAGIC!
Patty Anyway, it seems that Lisa is in the need of our Aunty advice.
Lisa I'll take anything!
Selma There's a woman who might be able to give you your magic back. And yes, she takes Venmo and Zelle.
Lisa What's Zelle?
Selma Nobody knows...
Selma Lisa, go see Princess Opal. She's a bit strange, but trust us — she'll sort everything out.
Patty And worst case, she'll give you a fun tarot reading.
Lisa Okay, I guess I can try it out, but only as long as you guys come with me.
Patty and Selma It's a deal!
Homer So this means you'll all leave?
Patty and Selma Disappear!
Homer Finally, some peace and quiet. Maybe I should try watching "The Wire" — it has to be good this time!
Patty and Selma Appear! It gets good around episode 5.
Homer D'OH!
Task: Collect Magic Wands [x150])
Task: Make Lisa Visit Princess Opal's (4h, Princess Opal's, Shops or Brown House)
If the user has Selma: Task: Make Selma Take Lisa to Princess Opal's (4h, Princess Opal's, Shops or Brown House)
If the user has Princess Opal: Task: Make Princess Opal Be Thankful for a Distraction (4h, Princess Opal's )
Tapped Out Princess Opal Icon.png Welcome to "Princess Opal's Potions, Hexes, and Fax Machine."
Lisa I guess she couldn't predict the demise of the fax machine.
Tapped Out Princess Opal Icon.png Hey! I heard that!
Tapped Out Princess Opal Icon.png I'd change the sign, but it's canon.
Patty Princess Opal, Lisa here is in need of a confidence boost. She is a great magician, but she can't access her magic.
Tapped Out Princess Opal Icon.png Mm, sounds like a case of low self-esteem.
Selma Can you help her?
Tapped Out Princess Opal Icon.png Probably not. My potions are 85% corn syrup and 15% high-fructose corn syrup, so there's very little chance they do anything.
Patty What if I Zelle you $50?
Tapped Out Princess Opal Icon.png What's Zelle?
Selma It says on your website you accept it, along with Venmo...
Tapped Out Princess Opal Icon.png Really? Never heard of it. But what I have heard of is cold, hard, cash.
Selma Okay, I'll try to find an ATM.
Tapped Out Princess Opal Icon.png Come on Lisa, let's get your magic back.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

The Greatest Trick Ever Performed, Pt. 4[edit]

After completing The Greatest Trick Ever Performed, Pt. 3:
Selma So, no. Turns out Princess Opal is a total scam artist. She couldn't help Lisa at all.
Homer Well, I guess "actions" don't speak louder than words.
Homer Anyhoo, I'm proud to announce that I have solved all of Lisa's magic problems, with my own form of magic.
Lisa I feel like that should make me happy, and not fill me with dread — but all I feel is dread.
Marge Don't worry, sweetie. That's a very normal reaction to your father's plans.
Homer Come with me, Lisa! We'll get your confidence back and then you can show that no-good Magicfreek that you're the best magician around.
Task: Collect Magic Wands [x185])
Task: Make Homer Take Lisa to the Magic Palace (4h, Magic Palace, Magic Shop, Casinos or Brown House)
Task: Make Lisa Try Not to Panic (4h, Magic Palace, Magic Shop, Casinos or Brown House)
Lisa The Magic Palace?
Homer Yup! And there he is! The man, the myth, the magician himself, Dr. Mesmerino.
Tapped Out Mesmerino Icon.png It's just Mesmerino.
Homer Look, I don't care what you call yourself. All I know is that my little girl needs a confidence boost so that she can teach that no-good Cregg Demon that she's the best magician in town.
Tapped Out Mesmerino Icon.png Cregg Demon! I hate that hack! His Magicfreek show exposed several of my greatest secrets.
Tapped Out Mesmerino Icon.png I will help you, Lisa — free of charge.
Lisa Thanks, but I don't know if my problem is fixable.
Tapped Out Mesmerino Icon.png Just keep your eyes on this watch. Stay focused on it.
Lisa Hypnosis? Really?
Lisa ...
Tapped Out Mesmerino Icon.png You are brave, and confident, and capable. You can do anything your mind can imagine.
Tapped Out Mesmerino Icon.png And you will come up with the greatest magic trick of all time and thoroughly humiliate that fool, Cregg Demon.
Lisa Yes, I will. I will humiliate the fool, Cregg Demon.
Homer Okay, Mesmerino, now it's my turn. I want you to hypnotize me into becoming super rich!
Tapped Out Mesmerino Icon.png Free of charge for her, but $50 for you.
Homer Okay, fine. Do you take Zelle?
Tapped Out Mesmerino Icon.png What's Zelle?
Homer Fine... I'll try to find an ATM...
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

The Greatest Trick Ever Performed, Pt. 5[edit]

After completing The Greatest Trick Ever Performed, Pt. 4:
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Behold! I, The Great Simpsina, have returned, and have come up with the greatest trick ever conceived!
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png I will perform a trick of such daring, such brilliance, that Cregg Demon will be forced to realize that he's nothing but a second-rate magic thief!
Marge Homie? Where did you take her?
Homer To see Mesmerino! He hypnotized her to make her more confident. He also got her to quit smoking.
Marge But Lisa doesn't smoke.
Homer Not any more, she doesn't.
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Now, come with me! To the site of my greatest trick!
Marge Ooh, a destination showdown!
Later, at Springfield Gorge...
Marge Homer, this is too dangerous! Do something!
Homer But I just found a good seat. Also, it's not like anything bad ever happens at the Gorge!
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Greetings, Springfielders, and welcome to the site of the greatest escape act that has ever been and will ever be!
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png I will be strapped into this straightjacket, and then chained up.
Cregg Demon Straightjacket? All right, Harry Hou-tweeny...
Homer Your wordplay sucks, Demon!
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png And then, I will be lowered into this small clear container filled with water, which will be closed and locked.
Cregg Demon Getting more interesting, but I've done far more challenging escapes.
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png And then, this container will be hung over this rope bridge crossing the gorge, which will be lit on fire on both ends, giving me only two minutes to escape!
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png If I fail, then I'll either drown, or fall to my death at the bottom of the gorge below.
Cregg Demon Okay, this is like way cooler than anything I've ever done.
Marge HOMER! We can't let Lisa do this!
Homer Marge, she goes by the Great Simpsina now.
Task: Collect Magic Wands [x230])
Task: Make The Great Simpsina Perform an Exceptionally Dangerous Escape (4h, Springfield Gorge, Casinos, Magic Palace or Brown House)
If the user has Marge: Task: Make Marge Take Matters Into Her Own Hands (4h, Springfield Gorge, Casinos, Magic Palace or Brown House)
Task: Make Homer Not Notice Marge has Disappeared (4h, Springfield Gorge, Casinos, Magic Palace or Brown House)
If the user has Cregg Demon: Task: Make Cregg Demon Be Entertained Despite His Best Efforts (4h, Springfield Gorge, Casinos, Magic Palace or Brown House)
Task: Make Springfielders Watch the Escape [x20] (2h, Springfield Gorge, Casinos, Magic Palace or Brown House)
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Presto Chain-no!
Cregg Demon Awkward delivery, but she got out of those chains way faster than I could.
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png And voila! I am free from my straightjacket!
Cregg Demon She's like if David Blaine and Dumbledore had a baby and then that baby... I don't know where I'm going with this.
Cregg Demon All I know is, her act is way better than anything I've ever done.
Moe Wait— Oh God, the bridge! It's collapsing!
Ned Oh lordy, she'll fall to her death!
Marge OUT OF THE WAAAAAY! *rockets past everyone on a motorcycle*
Cregg Demon Hey, that's my motorcycle!
Marge AAAAAAAAAAH! *motorcycle leaps into the air over the gorge*
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png *realizes that the bridge is gone* Aaaah!
Marge BABY! I'M COMING! *grabs the Great Simpsina*
Marge AAAAAAH! *lands safely on the other side*
Cregg Demon That was the greatest piece of magic I've ever witnessed!
Quest reward: Cash200 and XP20

The Cards Have Fallen[edit]

After completing The Greatest Trick Ever Performed, Pt. 5:
Marge Are you okay, honey?
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Yes, Mom. I'm fine.
Homer LISA! MARGE!
Homer YOU BOTH ALMOST DIED!
Marge Go get the car, Homer. We're leaving.
Homer *slips and falls down gorge* Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh! Ow! Eeee! Ow! I'm okay!
Homer *from bottom of gorge* I'll just meet you guys back home.
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Thanks for saving my life, Mom.
Marge Any time!
Marge Say, now that it's just us two, wanna take the motorcycle home?!
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png LET'S DO IT!
Marge *take off on motorcycle*
Task: Make Homer Climb Out of the Gorge (1h, Springfield Gorge, Casinos, Magic Palace or Brown House)
If the user has Cregg Demon: Task: Make Cregg Demon Begrudgingly Admit He Lost (1h, Springfield Gorge, Casinos, Magic Palace or Brown House)
If the user has Nelson: Task: Make Marge Stop to Refuel the Motorcycle (1h, Springfield Gorge, Casinos, Magic Palace or Brown House)
Cregg Demon All right. I'll admit it. You, The Great Simpsina, are the best magician and magicfreekiest in the world.
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Thank you, Mr. Demon! So, where are you off to next?
Cregg Demon Oh, I just figured I'd go back under your couch. I kind of got used to it after all that time.
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png No. That's really weird. Please go.
Quest reward: Cash200 and XP20