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The Simpsons: Tapped Out Tragic Magic content update/Gameplay

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki

Party Woes[edit]

After the user logs in on August 16th:
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Marge! Wake up! It's Thursday! They're coming!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Homer, the garbage men come every Thursday morning...
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Bart! Lisa! GET UP!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Do you have to wake us up every time the stupid garbage gets picked up?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Yeah, if anything, wake me up for the recycling or compost.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png None of you appreciate the miracle of the garbage men...
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png And we're fine continuing to live out our days not appreciating it.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Garbage men are civilization's most prized individuals!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Yawn.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png For millions of years, they've gone house to house, cave to cave, while humanity sleeps...
Tapped Out Annoyed Bart and Lisa Icon.png ...they pull up to our curbs, and take away all of our most-foul junk.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png We know! You say this every week!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png *pointing outside* Wait, what's that giant box they're throwing into their truck?
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Oh no! They're throwing away the bouncy house for Maggie's birthday party!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png The delivery guy must have left it too close to the trash bins!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Garbage men are supposed to take all the old crap we don't want, not the new crap we NEED!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Give us back our crap!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Whoa! Now they're smashing it all together in their trash smusher thingy!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png CURSE YOU, GARBAGE MEN!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Now what are we going to do for Maggie's birthday? The party's in 3 hours!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Just cancel it. She won't remember.
Tapped Out Maggie Icon.png *suck suck*
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png That's true. You never remembered us blowing off your first birthday.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Wait, what?!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Well... I could always put on a little magic show for Maggie. Kids love magic!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Oh, that'd be wonderful, Lisa!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Hmm... I wonder where I left my magician's outfit...
Task: Make Lisa Look for Her Magician's Outfit (6s, Simpson House)
Task: Make Homer Chase After the Garbage Truck (6s, Simpson House)
If the user has Bart: Task: Make Bart Search for Photos of His 1st Birthday Party (6s, Simpson House)
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Woo-hoo! I found my magician's outfit!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Was it in the attic like I said?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png No. It just magically appeared! One second it wasn't here, and then it just popped up out of thin air!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Is this part of your magician's act?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png My act?! Oh no! I forgot that I have to perform in front of all these kids! Ugh, it's been ages since I did magic. What if I'm terrible at it?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Ooh, I'd be worried if I were you — kids these days are the harshest critics.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Um, thanks?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png But... these kids are way too young to speak, so it's not like they can heckle you off the stage or anything.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Well, that's a relief.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png They might throw their pacifiers at you though, and maybe even some diapers...
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Don't listen to him, honey. The only thing you have to worry about is making sure that your sister has the best birthday ever!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Wow, you guys are really terrible at boosting my confidence.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Greatest Trick Ever Performed[edit]

The Greatest Trick Ever Performed, Pt. 1[edit]

After completing Party Woes:
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Mom, Maggie's birthday is so boring! Plus, Milhouse and I were planning to take photos of Skinner's Prius and sell it online.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Bart, you're staying put until the end. Also, you have to stop selling people's cars without them knowing!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Hey! When I put Apu's car in the classifieds without him knowing, it sold way above its Blue Book value. He even gave me a commission!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Shh... Lisa's magic show is about to start.
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Gather 'round and witness the spectacle of magic!
Tapped Out Maggie Icon.png *suck suck*
Tapped Out Hudson Icon.png *suck suck*
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Presto! The rings, once separate, are now...
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png ...linked together!
Tapped Out Maggie Icon.png *excited clapping*
Tapped Out Hudson Icon.png *excited clapping*
Tapped Out Baby Gerald Icon.png *tries to pull apart his unibrow*
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png I'm so proud of my little birthday girl. Maggie's having the best time!
Tapped Out Courtney Icon.png Yeah, and Hudson is having an amazing time too! I'm surprised, Marge. You seem to have actually put on a pretty good party.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Thanks, Courtney...
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png And now, I need a volunteer. Who shall I pick?
Tapped Out Maggie Icon.png *waves frantically*
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png You — the little lady with the red pacifier!
Tapped Out Maggie Icon.png *crawls forward*
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png You will help me with my greatest trick yet!
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png I shall summon a horrifying monster from the great beyond, and you will banish it by throwing this mystical powder at it!
Tapped Out Maggie Icon.png *suck suck*
Task: Collect Magic Wands [x185])
Task: Make Lisa Summon the Lard-Beast of Donuth (4h, Simpson House)
If the user has Maggie: Task: Make Maggie Banish the Beast (4h, Simpson House)
If the user has Hudson: Task: Make Hudson Watch and Be Amazed (4h, Simpson House)
If the user has Marge: Task: Make Marge Grumble About Courtney's Presence (4h, Simpson House)
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Behold, The Lard-Beast of Donuth!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png GROAAAR!
Tapped Out Maggie Icon.png *suck suck*
Tapped Out Maggie Icon.png *throws the mystical powder*
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png AHH! Wait, is this...powdered sugar?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Mmm... disappearing sugar...
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Begone, beast! *puff of smoke*
Tapped Out Maggie Icon.png *suck suck*
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png *eating noises*
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Greatest Trick Ever Performed, Pt. 2[edit]

After completing The Greatest Trick Ever Performed, Pt. 1:
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png You did so well, Lisa! Maggie was so happy!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Aww, thanks Mom.
Tapped Out Credd Demon Icon.png The Great Simpsina!
Tapped Out Credd Demon Icon.png *puff of smoke*
Tapped Out Credd Demon Icon.png I've been waiting under this magical couch for you to return to the stage.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Cregg Demon, the Magicfreek? How long have you been under there?
Tapped Out Credd Demon Icon.png Long enough to sit through Homer attempt and reattempt to "get into" HBO's "The Wire" only to give up around the 3rd episode each time.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png People keep telling me it'll get good by episode 5, but why don't they just start there then?
Tapped Out Credd Demon Icon.png Anyway, now that you, The Great Simpsina, have returned to the stage, it's time to settle the ultimate question: which of us truly is the best magician?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Um, well, you're definitely better... I mean, I'm pretty good, but you're a professional and have your own TV show and Vegas residency...
Tapped Out Credd Demon Icon.png Well, I, Cregg Demon, challenge you to a magic-off! We will each perform our greatest trick and see who can Magicfreek the hardest!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Abracadab-D'OH!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Shouldn't it just be "Abraca-D'oh"?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png D'OH!
Task: Collect Magic Wands [x150])
Task: Make The Great Simpsina Perform Her Hardest Magic Trick (4h, Simpson House)
If the user has Cregg Demon: Task: Make Cregg Demon MAGICFREEK Everyone (4h, Simpson House)
If the user has Marge: Task: Make Marge Worry That This Isn't Appropriate (4h, Simpson House)
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png So... Mr. Demon, if I give you a dollar, will you turn my glass of water into an ice-cold Duff?
Tapped Out Credd Demon Icon.png Dude, I'm not Jesus.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I knew it! You CAN'T even do magic!
Tapped Out Credd Demon Icon.png Fine, here's some magic for you...
Tapped Out Credd Demon Icon.png MAGICFREEK!
Tapped Out Donut Homer Icon.png What?! You turned me into a donut!
Tapped Out Donut Homer Icon.png Now I'll have to stop me from eating me for the rest of my life!
Tapped Out Donut Homer Icon.png Mmmm... toroidal quandary...
Tapped Out Credd Demon Icon.png MAGICFREEK!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Aw man, now I'm just a middle-aged loser again.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Lisa, can you cheer me up by turning my water into a beer?
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Uh, I can try. Presto Beer-o?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png ...
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Nothing happened? Presto Beer-o! Nothing again?
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Okay, maybe this time — PRESTO BEER-O!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Lisa! It's still water! Magic sucks.
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Oh no! Maybe I have the magical yips!
Tapped Out Credd Demon Icon.png Or... never had the skills in the first place. You know, I expected to win, but not to be bored doing it.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Greatest Trick Ever Performed, Pt. 3[edit]

After completing The Greatest Trick Ever Performed, Pt. 2:
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I don't know why I agreed to compete against Cregg Demon! He's a professional magician! There's no way I'm going to beat him!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png You WILL beat him!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png You're going to wipe that smug eyeliner off that magicfreek!
Tapped Out Selma Icon.png Strong words, Homer.
Tapped Out Patty Icon.png Yeah, but you know what speaks louder than words?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Louder words?
Tapped Out Selma Icon.png Actions.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Who let the vampire twins into the house?
Tapped Out Selma Icon.png We're coded into the game. We can appear in and out of your little quests whenever we want!
Tapped Out Selma Icon.png See? Disappear!
Tapped Out Selma Icon.png Appear!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png DARK MAGIC!
Tapped Out Patty Icon.png Anyway, it seems that Lisa is in the need of our Aunty advice.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I'll take anything!
Tapped Out Selma Icon.png There's a woman who might be able to give you your magic back. And yes, she takes Venmo and Zelle.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png What's Zelle?
Tapped Out Selma Icon.png Nobody knows...
Tapped Out Selma Icon.png Lisa, go see Princess Opal. She's a bit strange, but trust us — she'll sort everything out.
Tapped Out Patty Icon.png And worst case, she'll give you a fun tarot reading.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Okay, I guess I can try it out, but only as long as you guys come with me.
Tapped Out Patty and Selma Icon.png It's a deal!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png So this means you'll all leave?
Tapped Out Patty and Selma Icon.png Disappear!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Finally, some peace and quiet. Maybe I should try watching "The Wire" — it has to be good this time!
Tapped Out Patty and Selma Icon.png Appear! It gets good around episode 5.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png D'OH!
Task: Collect Magic Wands [x150])
Task: Make Lisa Visit Princess Opal's (4h, Princess Opal's, Shops or Brown House)
If the user has Selma: Task: Make Selma Take Lisa to Princess Opal's (4h, Princess Opal's, Shops or Brown House)
If the user has Princess Opal: Task: Make Princess Opal Be Thankful for a Distraction (4h, Princess Opal's )
Tapped Out Princess Opal Icon.png Welcome to "Princess Opal's Potions, Hexes, and Fax Machine."
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I guess she couldn't predict the demise of the fax machine.
Tapped Out Princess Opal Icon.png Hey! I heard that!
Tapped Out Princess Opal Icon.png I'd change the sign, but it's canon.
Tapped Out Patty Icon.png Princess Opal, Lisa here is in need of a confidence boost. She is a great magician, but she can't access her magic.
Tapped Out Princess Opal Icon.png Mm, sounds like a case of low self-esteem.
Tapped Out Selma Icon.png Can you help her?
Tapped Out Princess Opal Icon.png Probably not. My potions are 85% corn syrup and 15% high-fructose corn syrup, so there's very little chance they do anything.
Tapped Out Patty Icon.png What if I Zelle you $50?
Tapped Out Princess Opal Icon.png What's Zelle?
Tapped Out Selma Icon.png It says on your website you accept it, along with Venmo...
Tapped Out Princess Opal Icon.png Really? Never heard of it. But what I have heard of is cold, hard, cash.
Tapped Out Selma Icon.png Okay, I'll try to find an ATM.
Tapped Out Princess Opal Icon.png Come on Lisa, let's get your magic back.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Greatest Trick Ever Performed, Pt. 4[edit]

After completing The Greatest Trick Ever Performed, Pt. 3:
Tapped Out Selma Icon.png So, no. Turns out Princess Opal is a total scam artist. She couldn't help Lisa at all.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Well, I guess "actions" don't speak louder than words.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Anyhoo, I'm proud to announce that I have solved all of Lisa's magic problems, with my own form of magic.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png I feel like that should make me happy, and not fill me with dread — but all I feel is dread.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Don't worry, sweetie. That's a very normal reaction to your father's plans.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Come with me, Lisa! We'll get your confidence back and then you can show that no-good Magicfreek that you're the best magician around.
Task: Collect Magic Wands [x185])
Task: Make Homer Take Lisa to the Magic Palace (4h, Magic Palace, Magic Shop, Casinos or Brown House)
Task: Make Lisa Try Not to Panic (4h, Magic Palace, Magic Shop, Casinos or Brown House)
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png The Magic Palace?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Yup! And there he is! The man, the myth, the magician himself, Dr. Mesmerino.
Tapped Out Mesmerino Icon.png It's just Mesmerino.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Look, I don't care what you call yourself. All I know is that my little girl needs a confidence boost so that she can teach that no-good Cregg Demon that she's the best magician in town.
Tapped Out Mesmerino Icon.png Cregg Demon! I hate that hack! His Magicfreek show exposed several of my greatest secrets.
Tapped Out Mesmerino Icon.png I will help you, Lisa — free of charge.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Thanks, but I don't know if my problem is fixable.
Tapped Out Mesmerino Icon.png Just keep your eyes on this watch. Stay focused on it.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Hypnosis? Really?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png ...
Tapped Out Mesmerino Icon.png You are brave, and confident, and capable. You can do anything your mind can imagine.
Tapped Out Mesmerino Icon.png And you will come up with the greatest magic trick of all time and thoroughly humiliate that fool, Cregg Demon.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Yes, I will. I will humiliate the fool, Cregg Demon.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Okay, Mesmerino, now it's my turn. I want you to hypnotize me into becoming super rich!
Tapped Out Mesmerino Icon.png Free of charge for her, but $50 for you.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Okay, fine. Do you take Zelle?
Tapped Out Mesmerino Icon.png What's Zelle?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Fine... I'll try to find an ATM...
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Greatest Trick Ever Performed, Pt. 5[edit]

After completing The Greatest Trick Ever Performed, Pt. 4:
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Behold! I, The Great Simpsina, have returned, and have come up with the greatest trick ever conceived!
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png I will perform a trick of such daring, such brilliance, that Cregg Demon will be forced to realize that he's nothing but a second-rate magic thief!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Homie? Where did you take her?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png To see Mesmerino! He hypnotized her to make her more confident. He also got her to quit smoking.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png But Lisa doesn't smoke.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Not any more, she doesn't.
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Now, come with me! To the site of my greatest trick!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Ooh, a destination showdown!
Later, at Springfield Gorge...
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Homer, this is too dangerous! Do something!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png But I just found a good seat. Also, it's not like anything bad ever happens at the Gorge!
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Greetings, Springfielders, and welcome to the site of the greatest escape act that has ever been and will ever be!
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png I will be strapped into this straightjacket, and then chained up.
Tapped Out Credd Demon Icon.png Straightjacket? All right, Harry Hou-tweeny...
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Your wordplay sucks, Demon!
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png And then, I will be lowered into this small clear container filled with water, which will be closed and locked.
Tapped Out Credd Demon Icon.png Getting more interesting, but I've done far more challenging escapes.
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png And then, this container will be hung over this rope bridge crossing the gorge, which will be lit on fire on both ends, giving me only two minutes to escape!
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png If I fail, then I'll either drown, or fall to my death at the bottom of the gorge below.
Tapped Out Credd Demon Icon.png Okay, this is like way cooler than anything I've ever done.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png HOMER! We can't let Lisa do this!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Marge, she goes by the Great Simpsina now.
Task: Collect Magic Wands [x230])
Task: Make The Great Simpsina Perform an Exceptionally Dangerous Escape (4h, Springfield Gorge, Casinos, Magic Palace or Brown House)
If the user has Marge: Task: Make Marge Take Matters Into Her Own Hands (4h, Springfield Gorge, Casinos, Magic Palace or Brown House)
Task: Make Homer Not Notice Marge has Disappeared (4h, Springfield Gorge, Casinos, Magic Palace or Brown House)
If the user has Cregg Demon: Task: Make Cregg Demon Be Entertained Despite His Best Efforts (4h, Springfield Gorge, Casinos, Magic Palace or Brown House)
Task: Make Springfielders Watch the Escape [x20] (2h, Springfield Gorge, Casinos, Magic Palace or Brown House)
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Presto Chain-no!
Tapped Out Credd Demon Icon.png Awkward delivery, but she got out of those chains way faster than I could.
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png And voila! I am free from my straightjacket!
Tapped Out Credd Demon Icon.png She's like if David Blaine and Dumbledore had a baby and then that baby... I don't know where I'm going with this.
Tapped Out Credd Demon Icon.png All I know is, her act is way better than anything I've ever done.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Wait— Oh God, the bridge! It's collapsing!
Tapped Out Ned Icon.png Oh lordy, she'll fall to her death!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png OUT OF THE WAAAAAY! *rockets past everyone on a motorcycle*
Tapped Out Credd Demon Icon.png Hey, that's my motorcycle!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png AAAAAAAAAAH! *motorcycle leaps into the air over the gorge*
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png *realizes that the bridge is gone* Aaaah!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png BABY! I'M COMING! *grabs the Great Simpsina*
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png AAAAAAH! *lands safely on the other side*
Tapped Out Credd Demon Icon.png That was the greatest piece of magic I've ever witnessed!
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

The Cards Have Fallen[edit]

After completing The Greatest Trick Ever Performed, Pt. 5:
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Are you okay, honey?
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Yes, Mom. I'm fine.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png LISA! MARGE!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png YOU BOTH ALMOST DIED!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Go get the car, Homer. We're leaving.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png *slips and falls down gorge* Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh! Ow! Eeee! Ow! I'm okay!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png *from bottom of gorge* I'll just meet you guys back home.
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Thanks for saving my life, Mom.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Any time!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Say, now that it's just us two, wanna take the motorcycle home?!
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png LET'S DO IT!
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png *take off on motorcycle*
Task: Make Homer Climb Out of the Gorge (1h, Springfield Gorge, Casinos, Magic Palace or Brown House)
If the user has Cregg Demon: Task: Make Cregg Demon Begrudgingly Admit He Lost (1h, Springfield Gorge, Casinos, Magic Palace or Brown House)
If the user has Nelson: Task: Make Marge Stop to Refuel the Motorcycle (1h, Springfield Gorge, Casinos, Magic Palace or Brown House)
Tapped Out Credd Demon Icon.png All right. I'll admit it. You, The Great Simpsina, are the best magician and magicfreekiest in the world.
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png Thank you, Mr. Demon! So, where are you off to next?
Tapped Out Credd Demon Icon.png Oh, I just figured I'd go back under your couch. I kind of got used to it after all that time.
Tapped Out The Great Simpsina Icon.png No. That's really weird. Please go.
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20