The Simpsons: Tapped Out State of Despair content update/Premium Gameplay

Get to the Point

Get to the Point Pt. 1

Placed as premium as progressing it requires Blue-Haired Lawyer. If started during event: After completing Inter-State Debacle: After tapping on Quimby's exclamation mark: Order, order, I, er, bring this town hall meeting to order! Something strange has come over our town. And it's not March Madness because we eradicated that years ago. We've been having a series of, well, I don't want to say Biblical plagues but I'm, er, going to. It's global warming! We drove the Earth to its limits and now we must pay. But we can stop it- No one likes to hear about global warming. So let's put our heads together and find something else to blame. Isn't it obvious? We know exactly who to blame-diddly-ame. Oh no. Dear Lord, why do I even bother leaving my trains? Task: Make Ned Rant About Fire and Brimstone (4h, Town Hall or Brown House) On job start: We have incurred God's rather just wrath because none of you were willing to spend one hour in church one day a week. But you'd all rather sit around in front of the TV getting fat than visit our Lord on a Sunday. He's seen how you've pushed him aside in favor of all your vices, and now he's sent a plague to teach us. We must show him we got the message loud and clear by erecting a monument to him on the front steps of the courthouse! The Ten Commandments erected in solid gold ought to do nicely. Yessir, empty out your pockets and let's start the collection. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Get to the Point Pt. 2

After tapping on Blue-Haired Lawyer's exclamation mark: I feel I must advise you that erecting a statue to the Ten Commandments would violate separation of church and state. Not to mention that gold is both tacky AND expensive. B-but, if we don't erect a statue to our Lord then how can we expect his forgiveness?! Wait a minute, if we're going around erecting statues to gods then what about Sky Finger? Hmm. Sky Finger is not formally recognized by the church, more's the pity, so it wouldn't violate separation of church and state. Great! A proposal that's unlikely to get me sued. Make it so! Task: Place the Sky Finger Monument Wait a minute! I thought we were making this statue out of solid gold?! My heart said gold, but what's left of the city budget after I, er, borrowed some funds, said styrofoam convincingly painted like bronze and stone. So Sky Finger erects an entire city and this is all the thanks we give?! We can do better...maybe? Quest reward: 100 and 10

Get to the Point Pt. 3

After tapping on Quimby's exclamation mark: Better? What more do you want, a parade? We're not allowed to have those anymore after the last one ended in a stampede. What about a ribbon cutting? That also ended in a stampede. We're a town of stampeders. There must be something we can do to show our devotion to Sky Finger?! Like, I don't know, a funny limerick or something? I think you mean a prayer. I've never known a limerick to start a stampede. Let's give it a go. Task: Make Homer Compose a Limerick to Sky Finger (8h, Sky Finger Monument or Simpson House) On job start: A God amid thumbs is our Sky Finger. On the might of its point our lives linger. Our town isn't the same. Since its knuckles took reign. Something, something, comedic rhyme, the end! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Get to the Point Pt. 4

After tapping on Quimby's exclamation mark: That was barely a limerick, but at least it didn't result in a stampede. Homie gave it his best, that ought to be more than enough. Yes, everything always seems to work out for him, but in matters of religion I really think you ought to listen to a more Godly man. Hey! Sky Finger! I wrote you a poem; I've never even done that for Marge. Come on, I've always thought we were pals! Don't turn your back, er, the back of your finger on us now! Task: Use the Sky Finger Monument Woohoo! I knew Sky Finger was our one true savior. B-b-but! I've been praying to our Lord for a miracle for years and Homer recites half a poorly written limerick and gets it?! Come along Ned, I've got a bottle of communion wine I've been saving for just such a crisis of faith. Bless you Sky Finger, I'll worship at your altar as often as I feel like it, and always with a side of nachos. Quest reward: 200 and 20

Into Harm's Way

Into Harm's Way Pt. 1

After building Juvenile Courthouse: All rise for the honorable Judge Constance Harm! Rise higher! Use the provided step stools! Yes, that's the stuff. You may now be seated. Before we begin adjudication, Defendant, is there anything you would like to say to the court? *suck suck* Order! Order in the court! Do you have a reply, Plaintiff? *ominous glare* Bailiff, I know toddlers are fully capable of representing themselves in court. But babies? Court orders. You're too harsh on adults and too mean for children. We are hoping Baby Court will be just right for you. Task: Make Judge Harm Sternly Contemplate Babies (1h, Juvenile Courthouse) Sorry, I don't have baby fever. Just dengue, yellow, and cat-scratch. *suck suck* Dancing baby? Nah, still feel nothing. *ominous glare* Now there's a baby after my own withered heart. Let's hear your case, Plaintiff. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Into Harm's Way Pt. 2

After tapping on Judge Costance Harm's exclamation mark: Where are the babies' lawyers? There should be one behind each snack table. Maggie! There you are. How did you get yourself arrested? Aw, baby court. This brings back memories. You two tiny adults. You will be these itsy-bitsy adults' lawyers. I hope for their sake you've passed the bar. I've snuck into a bar. Does that count? Task: Make Judge Harm Assign Lawyers to the Case (4h, Juvenile Courthouse) On job start: Children, I've written down everything you need to know about being a lawyer on this card. It just says – "Settle." Hmm... I can tell that you have the moral compass of a defense attorney. You shall defend Maggie. Now you, sir, how do you feel about recklessly wielding your disproportionate amount of power and determining people's fates on a whim? Sounds like my dream job! Prosecutor it is! You're hired! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Into Harm's Way Pt. 3

After tapping on Judge Costance Harm's exclamation mark: What are these babies' crimes? Except the obvious ones of being on an airplane or eating in public. I saw these two babies fighting over a lollipop. I turned my head for one moment and then poof the candy was gone and Baby Gerald was crying. That's proof enough for me. Guilty! Objection your honor! But I already banged my gavel! It's the second best part of my job, after Meatball Mondays. My client has the right to plead her case! And to change her diaper. Fine. Bailiff, assist in changing the defendant's diaper. I'd help, but I've got important work to do. Task: Make Judge Harm Sharpen Pencils (8h, Juvenile Courthouse) Alright Maggie, if that's your real name, let's hear your side of the crime. *suck suck* My client says that while she was in the park, both she and Baby Gerald found an unattended lollipop, which they then fought over. *ominous glare* Objection! My client says that he saw the lollipop first. It's a classic finders keepers scenario. *suck suck* Everyone knows that finders keepers is predicated on touch, not sight. Maggie touched the lolly first. She is the finder, ergo the keeper. This would make some riveting daytime TV. But what happened to the lollipop? Quest reward: 100 and 10

Into Harm's Way Pt. 4

After tapping on Judge Costance Harm's exclamation mark: Unless we produce this contested property, I can't make my ruling. Wait a minute! I've got it! Babies stick out your tongues. Drat. They're just tongue color. *suck suck* Oh! Maggie says Mr. Burns was in the park. Maybe he saw who stole the lollipop! It's subpoena time! Wow, the court lets you have balloons and sparklers? I have to pay for it out of pocket, but it's worth it! Task: Make Judge Harm Hand Out Subpoenas (12h) I call to the stand Montgomery Burns. Mr. Burns, who stole the lollipop in the park? Oh, candy gets stolen from a baby and now everyone looks toward the town's only known baby candy thief. Is there no justice? Permission to treat this witness as hostile? Granted. Show us the lolly, you old dirt bag! Or Bobo gets it. Nooo! It wasn't me. I swear. I was at a benefit to save the ocean from the whales. Mr. Burns, I've just been informed that you have threatened to start a lengthy and expensive judicial impeachment campaign. Unrelated, you are free to go. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Into Harm's Way Pt. 5

After tapping on Judge Costance Harm's exclamation mark: I guess we're back to that classic conundrum: who's the guiltier baby? Not so fast, your honor. There was one more person in that park that day. Is Bart figuring out something before me? There was also-- I confess, I stole the lollypop from the babies. I wanted to feel like a big man but now I want MY mommy. *dramatically weeps into a soggy handkerchief* Aw, you ruined my dramatic reveal. Another inside job, another case closed. Maybe I should do a better job vetting my employees... But I must say, I've grown fond of these babies. Maybe one day I'll become an aunt and occasionally send age-inappropriate gifts to my niece. But today, I will keep my kindness to the sentencing. Task: Make Judge Harm Pass a Lenient Sentence (24h, Juvenile Courthouse) In the case of Maggie Simpson vs. Baby Gerald, I find the Bailiff guilty of willful candy theft. I hearby sentence you community service: free babysitting to all who need it. Including these two – where are their parents? Judge Constance Harm, may I call you Constance? No. I like your style. Bitter on the outside, but also bitter on the inside. Like a solid 90% dark chocolate bar. Are you interested in a promotion? Finally, yes! I'm moving you to Critter Court. The only all-animal court this side of the Mississippi. Whichever side that might be. Quest reward: 200 and 20

Young at Heart

Young at Heart Pt. 1

After tapping on Judge Costance Harm's exclamation mark: I sentence you to four weeks of Pinterest parenting. I can't create that much whimsy! I wouldn't even know how to Bento a box! Perhaps you'll think twice before bouncing all the castle out of that bounce castle. You shouldn't be allowed to operate a business in America if you aren't prepared for an obese man. The law is the law and I'm not above it. Except when I'm on an airplane – then it's sky law. Task: Make Homer Create Magical Memories (4h, Juvenile Courthouse) Dad, get me another grilled cheese in the shape of Texas. Dad, where's my hand-sewn beautifully designed Arbor Day costume? And what about that indoor trellis with distressed beams and paper flowers for our family portraits? Ugh, this punishment combines my three least favorite things: effort, parenting, and documenting. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Young at Heart Pt. 2

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark: Maggie, you won't judge me if I don't make your childhood perfect. Because you still love me no matter what. *suck suck* A bejeweled pacifier? Are you sure I can't just give you candy? You better make that candy from scratch or it's jail for you! *sigh* I'll get out the glue gun and sequins. Task: Make Homer Bejewel (4h, Juvenile Courthouse) On job start: Children have it too good these days. Nobody doted on me and I turned out fine. Dad, do you think you'll get unstuck from the doorway soon? I need to use the bathroom. Daddy has to wait until he panic sweats off some weight, sweetie. Use the sink. Quest reward: 200 and 20