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Squidport

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki


For the location, see Springfield Squidport.


Squidport
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 15
Update: Squidport
Required characters: Homer
Sea Captain
Previous quest(s): Is There an Al Coholic Here Pt. 2

Squidport is a questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Squidport content update. The questline unlocks the Springfield Squidport and several characters, buildings and decorations to go with it.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
Homer - D'oh‎ D'oh!
Lisa What's wrong, Dad?
Homer Oh, that wasn't an annoyed "d'oh" -- I was just thinking about "dough".
Homer Like the delicious fried dough they used to sell down at the waterfront.
Homer Get in the car, kids! We're going to the Squidport!
Lisa Dad, remember? You blew up the town. There is no Squidport.
Homer - D'oh‎ D'oh!
Homer That one was an annoyed d'oh.
Lisa I suppose we could rebuild the Squidport. It'd be nice to see our town finally stretch down to the water.
Homer Get in the car, kids! We're going to rebuild the Squidport!
Lisa - Annoyed Nobody "gets in cars" anymore. We all just walk around aimlessly on the streets.
Homer - D'oh D'oh!
Lisa Which kind was that?
Homer Little of both.
Tasks: "Have Beach Expansion" and "Have Water Expansion".
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Pt. 2[edit]

After completing Pt. 1
Homer Okay, water expansion bought!
Homer ...and it was surprisingly easy considering it's prime oceanfront property and all my money is fake.
Lisa Great! Now we can build the Squidport Entrance.
Homer You know what they say: "Every great building begins with the door!"
Lisa Who says that?
Homer I dunno, building builders, I assume.
Task: "Place Squidport Entrance".
Homer So I've bought the Squidport Entrance, and I should place it... um...
Lisa On the waterfront.
Homer Yes! Yes, exactly... and I would find that... er...
Lisa In front of the water.
Homer I know that. I'm not totally incompetent.
Homer The water is the blue part, right?
Lisa Just put it in the shaded area.
Place: Squidport Entrance
If the player tries to place it somewhere else:
Message Please place the Squidport in the shaded area, and stop being dumb on purpose.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Pt. 3[edit]

After completing Pt. 2
Homer - Dreamy‎ Mmm, fried dough. A plate-sized glob of wet flour, deep fried and covered with whipped cream... Ow! Chest pains!
Homer I need to exercise. By walking a short distance along the boardwalk to get to the Fried Dough Stand.
Task: "Place Boardwalk Sections".
Message Place the boardwalk section and drag to create a boardwalk.
If the player tries to place it somewhere else:
Message Shaded. Area. Don't make me turn this game around!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Pt. 4[edit]

After completing Pt. 3
Homer - Dreamy Ah, the Squidport! Full of charming junkies and colorful runaways, attracted by the smell of carnival food and shady merchants...
Homer Wait a minute! My Squidport doesn't have any of that!
Lisa Dad? Is something wrong?
Homer No, Sweetie. Daddy just has to have a talk with some of his real estate partners.
Homer STUPID WATERFRONT! EMBARRASS ME IN FRONT OF THE JUNKIES AND RUNAWAYS!
Task: "Make Homer Swear at the Ocean". The task takes place at the Squidport Entrance and takes 12 hours.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Next Quest: The Old Man and the Sea Pt. 1

Pt. 5[edit]

Previous Quest: The Old Man and the Sea Pt. 2
After tapping on Sea Captain's exclamation mark
Sea Captain Y'arr, the Squidport! This old seadog has spent many a silver here, having me caricature made and eating Dipping Dots.
Sea Captain Tho something's different now, can't lay a finger to it.
Sea Captain - Aghast Wait, I have it -- it's become totally lame.
Homer I know, right? You can't buy a fried anything or squoosh a penny into a worthless flat oval.
Sea Captain Me men'll get this place into ship-shape. The finest builders what sailed the seas!
Lisa It makes sense that sailors would know carpentry. They have to constantly repair the ship.
Sea Captain Aye. We'll start by building a logo store to increase footfalls and up the spill-over effect.
Lisa Okay, now it's making less sense.
Sea Captain Sailors must also be well versed in mall-science and neuromarketing.
Task: "Build the Itchy & Scratchy Store". It takes 3 hours.
Build: The Itchy and Scratchy Store
After select the building
Sea Captain Squidport buildings can only be placed on the boardwalk, ye land-lubbers!
Homer Yeah, build on the boardwalk, Land-lubbers! If you lub land so much, why don't you marry it?
Sea Captain Y'arr, Homer, don't help.
If the player doesn't place it on the boardwalk
Homer ou have to put Squidport buildings on the boardwalk, or the pirate guy will get mad!
Sea Captain Pirate?! Aarg, I should keelhaul the lot of ye!
If the player doesn't place it in the shaded area
Sea Captain Dash my buttons! Build in the shaded area, or I'll run you up the mast and let the gulls have at ye!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Pt. 6[edit]

After tapping on Sea Captain's exclamation mark
Sea Captain T'is a start, but a short boardwalk is like a peg-leg dancing girl. If she's right there, you'll look at 'er, but enh. Ye need to build more Boardwalk.
Homer How do we do that? I mean, I know... but explain it slowly for the people who aren't as smart as me am.
Sea Captain Head ye over to the Squidport Entrance and then, er... I don't know, just build it.
Task: "Build a Boardwalk Section at the Squidport Entrance".
Sea Captain And ye can always speed the work along with donuts!
Homer - Sarcastic What a surprise.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Pt. 7[edit]

After tapping on Sea Captain's exclamation mark
Sea Captain Little girl, I need some supplies, where can an old salt get hands on rope and tarps?
Lisa Are you going out to sea again?
Sea Captain Nay, I'm going to an Adele concert and wanted to unfurl a sign that says I heart her. I've got bad seats so it has to be a big one.
Lisa Well, the boardwalk used to have a place that sold camping supplies.
Sea Captain And it shall again. Fall on, men -- the cheap seats await!
Tasks: "Have Boardwalk Sections x8" and "Build Malaria Zone". It takes 3 hours.
Build: Malaria Zone
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Pt. 8[edit]

After tapping on Sea Captain's exclamation mark
Sea Captain Y'arr! The boardwalk is coming 'round nicely, but still there's something missing.
Ned Mr. Captain, sir? If I could offer a suggestion... a spruce or two could really, well, spruce things up!
Sea Captain That's it exactly, matey! You gay men always have the best design advice.
Ned Oh, I'm not a homosexual.
Sea Captain Neither am I, wink-wink! Now let's get to decorating, girlfriend!
Tasks: "Have Boardwalk Lampost", "Have Boardwalk Trees" (x3) and "Have Boardwalk Fences" (x5).
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Next Quest: The Old Man and the Sea Pt. 3

Pt. 9[edit]

Previous Quest: The Old Man and the Sea Pt. 3
After tapping on Sea Captain's exclamation mark
Sea Captain Y'arr! I've learned a thing or three in me travels. Things I'd like ta share with the good folk o' Springfield.
Sea Captain Mayhaps a cultural imports store.
Lisa It's so wonderful that you want to expose people to the crafts and cultures of distant peoples!
Sea Captain N'arr, I jest want to fleece tourists the way the locals fleeced me everywhere I went.
Sea Captain Maybe unload some tribal gew-gaws I got conned inta buying.
Tasks: "Have Boardwalk Sections" (x12) and "Build Just Rainsticks". It takes 3 hours.
Build: Just Rainsticks
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Next Quest: The Old Man and the Sea Pt. 4

Pt. 10[edit]

Previous Quest: The Old Man and the Sea Pt. 4
After tapping on Sea Captain's exclamation mark
Sea Captain ...and I said, "That's as useful as a tall powder monkey!"
Homer I don't get it.‎
Sea Captain If he was tall, he couldn't fit in the gunwale which would be hilarious because... aw, forget it!‎
Sea Captain My quality sea-comedy's too good for the likes of you. Ye can amuse yerself with the low-rent antics of boardwalk street performers.
Task: "Have a Street Performer". The player has to purchase one of the Boardwalk Performers.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Pt. 11[edit]

After tapping on Sea Captain's exclamation mark
Sea Captain Now this is a boardwalk on which Ahab himself would be proud to play skeeball.
Sea Captain The Squidport is finally ready for the placement of its crowning jewel.
Homer Jewels? You're going to share your ill-gotten treasure booty with us!
Sea Captain Stop calling me a pirate! I meant a metaphorical jewel. Something that will really make the Squidport shine.
Homer A fried dough stand?
Sea Captain Better than that.
Lisa An Antique Book Store?
Sea Captain Better than that.
Bart A hundred foot tall climbing wall that you parachute down from?
Sea Captain Well okay, not as good as that.‎
Tasks: "Have Boardwalk Sections" (x16) and "Build the Frying Dutchman". It takes 4 hours.
Build: The Frying Dutchman
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Next Quest: The Frying Dutchman Pt. 1

Pt. 12[edit]

Previous Quest: The Frying Dutchman Pt. 2
After tapping on Sea Captain's exclamation mark
Sea Captain - Aghast‎ Homer, I'm beggin' ye. What can I do to have you turn your mighty eatin' power elsewhere?
Homer Well, the only reason I even came down to the waterfront was to get some fried dough.
Sea Captain That's it? That's all we have ta do? Yee-haw! I mean... I don't know, whatever sailors say when they're happy.
Task: "Have Boardwalk Sections" (x17) and "Build a Fried Dough Stand".
Place: Fried Dough Stand
Sea Captain There, take it! Eat ye vast yellow whale! Eat yer fried dough! Eat like the great sucking whirlpool you are!
Homer Hmm, you know what's funny? I'm not hungry anymore. I'm feeling kind of nappish.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Next Quest: The Old Man and the Sea Pt. 5

Pt. 13[edit]

Previous Quest: The Old Man and the Sea Pt. 5
After tapping on Sea Captain's exclamation mark
Sea Captain Poseidon and Neptune have decided they will only be appeased if we build more random stores on the boardwalk.
Sea Captain I know, I was as surprised as you. Gods, huh? Who can figure 'em out?
Tasks: "Have Boardwalk Sections" (x21) and "Reach Level 16 and Build Turban Outfitters". It take 4 hours.
Build: Turban Outfitters
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Pt. 14[edit]

After tapping on Sea Captain's exclamation mark
Sea Captain Y'arr, salty air and sand have caused me tattoos to fade. That and the obsessive hand washing brought on by me OCD.
Sea Captain Time I go in for some fresh ink!
Tasks: "Have Boardwalk Sections" (x25) and "Reach Level 17 and Build My First Tattoo". It take 4 hours.
Build: My First Tattoo
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Pt. 15[edit]

After tapping on Sea Captain's exclamation mark
Lisa Mr. Sea Captain? As much as I love your quaint restaurant, there really aren't many breakfast options.
Sea Captain What are ye talking about? The swim bladder of a kipper is a breakfast delicacy on Norwegian prison ships.
Lisa Be that as it may, I think vegetarians would prefer, pretty much anything else. How about muffins?
Sea Captain Vegetarians? Preachy blowhards! But I suppose their money's green enough. Let's build your Muffin shop!
Tasks: "Have Boardwalk Sections" (x27) and "Reach Level 18 and Build Much Ado About Muffins". It takes 4 hours.
Build: Much Ado About Muffins
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Pt. 16[edit]

After tapping on Sea Captain's exclamation mark
Sea Captain The gods have seen that our hearts are true and that we are trying to please them.
Sea Captain Still, they want us to build a store whose name doesn't, in any way, explain what kind of products the store sells. They were that specific.
Tasks: "Have Boardwalk Sections" (x31) and "Reach Level 19 and Build Crypto Barn". It takes 4 hours.
Build: Crypto Barn
Sea Captain Y'arr, let the bells ring out! The Sea Gods have accepted our offering! The oceans are once again roiling with bountiful sea life. And we are killing it as fast as we can.
Sea Captain And best of all, my restaurant is turning a moderate profit, all thanks to my renewed humility and mindfulness.
Sea Captain And the sign I put over the door: "No Fatties!"
Homer - D'oh D'oh!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Behind the Laughter[edit]

The following dialogue was cut from the update.

Once a Kid, Always a Kid[edit]

Homer What are all these holes in the sidewalk?
Homer Hmm, there's a sign. "Caution: Fountain is slippery when wet."
Homer Well obviously, all fountains are slippery when wet. Luckily there's no fountains anywhere aroun--- *thump*
Task: Make Homer Dodge the Water Jets.