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Now You Wiggum, Now You Don't!/Quotes

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki



Chief Wiggum: Here you go, Simpson. If you have any problems just call 911.
Homer: Oh right, were we still doing this?
Ralph Wiggum: Hi, new daddy!
Homer: Um... so what do you do?
Ralph: At school I eat things for money.
Homer: Sweet.

Ralph: This show is scary! The boat talks!
Homer: It's all right. The talking boat just helps the police solve crimes.
Ralph: Police like my other daddy!
Bart: Homer's not your dad, Ralph. He's barely mine!

Homer: Time to wake up! It's the father and son picnic!
Bart: I told you I'm not going!
Homer: I wasn't talking to you!
Ralph: Oh, boy! Let's go!

Bart: Hey, Homer, I decided to be part of the dumb day after all!
Homer: Well, Ralph and I...
Bart: Meet my new dad!
Barney Gumble: Every day with this little one is a gift! Because he's paying me. Braaaap!
Homer: Barney?! What's the big idea?

Bart: Do you have any hamster food?
Lisa: There's still some in my pockets!
Bart: Give it here!
Ralph: Hi, Bart!
Bart: Hey, Ralph! I'm just going to throw this hamster food on you, okay?
Ralph: Sure!