Krusty Gets Busted/Quotes
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- Apu: What's the matter, sir? Never have I seen you look so unhappy while purchasing such a large quantity of ice cream!
- Homer: The reason I look unhappy is 'cause tonight I have to see a slideshow starring my wife's sisters! Or as I call them "The Gruesome Twosome!" [chuckles and accidentally steps on Krusty's foot]
- Krusty: Ow! My foot you stupid, lousy, clumsy...!
- Homer: Sorry, pal! [gasps in horror when he sports Krusty holding a handgun and dives head first into a potato chip display]
- Krusty: [pointing gun at Apu] Hand over all your money in a paper bag!
- Apu: Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery! I do work in a convenience store you know! [hands over paper bag afterwhich Krusty flees]
- Apu: [to Homer] You can emerge now from my chips. The opportunity to prove yourself a hero is long gone.
- [Homer gasps with relief]
- [Springfield Courthouse. Krusty is being indicted.]
- Judge Snyder: How does the defendant plead?
- Krusty: I plead guilty, Your Honor.
- [Entire courtroom gasps. Defense attorney looks annoyed.]
- Defense attorney: No, no!
- [Defense attorney covers microphone and whispers to Krusty.]
- Krusty: Oops, I'm sorry. I plead not guilty, Your Honor. Opening night jitters!
- [Krusty's trial. Judge Snyder is not yet a judge, instead he is the prosecution attorney. He is attempting to prove Krusty's motivation for robbing the Kwik-E-Mart]
- Judge Snyder: Krusty, will you point out Exhibit B?
- Krusty: Huh? Wh-What do you mean?
- Judge Snyder: The one with the "B".
- Krusty: Uh...Uh...
- Judge Snyder: What is the matter, can't you read?
- Krusty: [distraught] No, okay?! I'm illiterate!
- [Courtroom audience and jury gasp]
- Judge Snyder: I do not believe it: the king of children's literacy is himself illiterate!
- Krusty: Is it a crime to be unable to read?
- Judge Snyder: Well, no, so I will point it out for you. Okay, Krusty, this is a "B", and this is Exhibit B. Betting slips! Indicating to this court you have lost substansial amounts of money wagering on sporting games!
- Krusty: Is it a crime to wager on sporting games?
- Snyder: Yes, it is.
- [Reverend Lovejoy spearheads a bonfire of all Krusty products]
- Peddler: Krusty dolls for sale, $2! Buy them and burn them!
- [Homer has confiscated all of Bart's Krusty toys and loaded them in a wheelbarrow.]
- Bart: Dad, you're giving in to mob mentality!
- Homer: No, I am not, I am part of the mainstream, participating with the herd! So come on,boy, join the winning team!
