| Hijinks and Hoop Dreams
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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Hijinks and Hoop Dreams is a temporary questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the "22 for 30" episode tie-in content update.
Dialogue[edit]
| After starting the update
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All right students, as you know assemblies mean I have dispiriting news.
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Government funding is better for sports than academics, so we are now focusing on that. Seems the teachers that always wore sweat pants were ahead of the curve.
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Sports? I'm allergic to those. And dust. And cotton. And my own hair.
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This isn't easy for any of us. I have to attend a seminar on the proper operation of a whistle.
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What if there's an exam at the end?!
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Task: "Make Youngsters Play Basketball Instead of Doing Math" (x5). The jobs take place at Springfield Elementary and take 4 hours.
Task: "Make Milhouse Shoot Some Hoops". The job takes place at Springfield Elementary and takes 4 hours.
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I now have a whole new relationship with sports. It's based on mutual respect!
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It's still school. Haven't you noticed "Coach" Largo is waving a baton?
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But my shots are going in. That's a thing my shots don't normally do!
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| Message
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Don't forget to check out the store, where a fine selection of limited time sports items are now available!
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
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| After tapping on Milhouse's exclamation mark
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Milhouse, you're really enjoying basketball. You remind me of me when I first discovered the joy of following rules.
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I love the swish sound when the ball goes in the net. Reminds me of the sound my legs make when I wear corduroy pants.
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How odd. Anyway, we acquired an outdoor court. For half price - it's a half-court.
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This is great! I feel like Dr. J! Not the player, my "private talks" doctor. He plays in a league with other therapists!
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Task: "Place the Outdoor Basketball Half-Court".
Task: "Make Milhouse Practice His Two-Pointers". The job takes place at the Outdoor Half-Court and takes 2 hours.
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I can't believe you get special treatment 'cause you're good at basketball. It's almost like this school doesn't appreciate pranking at all.
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You could join me. You know, like how up until now I've done everything you want?
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Please. Our relationship is based on your blind obedience. That's why it works.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Milhouse's exclamation mark
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Hey Bart, did you change your mind? Who's that guy?
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This blue-haired, weak-eyed, quiver-voiced kid is who you've been bragging about?!
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Milhouse, this is Anger Watkins, a famous sports reporter with an even more famous short temper. He wants to watch you. Don't be nervous because he's totally judging you.
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I'm judging you, this school, and even those clouds. You call that cumulonimbus? Please! I find better fluff in my navel after wearing a wool sweater. Now shoot the ball, four eyes!
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| Task: "Make Milhouse Practice Very Nervously". The job takes place at the Outdoor Half-Court and takes 2 hours.
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I've been covering basketball a long time, but I'm not even sure how to describe this pathetic display.
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I need to go home, heat up some canned ravioli, and then sit down and write an apology note to my eyes for making them watch this garbage! I can already tell this is going to be a four stress ball night!
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| Message
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Angry sportscaster Anger Watkins can now be purchased from the store!
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Milhouse's exclamation mark
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Bart, why would you do this?
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I thought a famous sportscaster mocking you would be funny. And, I'm proud to say, my instincts were right. You should be happy for me.
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I finally found something that made me feel good and then you made me feel bad about it.
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Wow! I think... I think... I think I'm about to stand up for myself.
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| Task: "Make Milhouse Fight Bart". The job takes place at the Outdoor Half-Court and takes 4 hours.
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| After starting the job
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I can't believe it! The blue-haired boy has attacked his friend with the same level of intense fury I use to brush my teeth.
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The foundations of their friendship have been hit with an explosion of anger that seems to have simmered longer than a well-made tomato sauce!
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I see now I may be somewhat responsible for this. I need a diversion so the guilt can't sink in. How about some road rage? That always works!
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| After finishing the task
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OK Milhouse, it took being punched in the guts to realize I may have been wrong. I'm sorry. I was jealous of how good you were at b-ball.
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I prefer if you call it "my mad hoop skills". But I forgive you. Van Houtens can't hold grudges, or in my Dad's case, jobs.
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| Message
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Does Bart ever give basketball a chance? Is Anger Watkins even a real character? Tune in to The Simpsons this Sunday 8/7C on FOX!
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| Quest Reward: 200 and 20
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