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FlanCrest Enterprises

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki

FlanCrest Enterprises is an Internet company that Ned and Maude Flanders run. They use the company to sell religious books and rugs.


When Homer decided to start his own internet company, he learned that Flanders was also running a company of his own.[1]

The company appears to have evolved significantly, and is now more involved in the manufacturing of a variety of left-handed gadgets and other items advertised in the Leftorium catalog.[2]

THE SHARPEN' EDGE - Premium Selections from the Leftorium Catalog[edit]

"From the FlanCrest® line of high-end gadgets and doodily-doohickeys that no one needs but by gosh and by golly a fella's just gotta have!"

Just-a-Half-a-Cup-More Left-handed Coffee Brewer[edit]

"If you're like me, no matter how much java you have-a, you still want just a skosh more. Well, say no more, or should I say: say more! The FlanCrest® Brewster serves up that perfect left-handed half-a-cup-a-coffee you crave. Its compact design lets it snuggle up on your kitchen counter in between your FlanCrest® Brewhaha 12-cup left-handed coffeemaker and your FlanCrest® Breuropean left-handed coffee espresso machine. $129.99"

Say "Y'ello-dily-odily" to Our Left-handed Cell Phone[edit]

"If you're like me, you miss a lot of important calls using a right-handed phone because you always have the wrong side up to your ear. That's why I think you'll flip over this flip phone with its exclusive left-handed keypad and a whole kit and caboodle of features so advanced you'll probably never learn to use 'em! $59.99"

Superbo Turbo-Thwacker Left-handed Weed Whacker[edit]

"If you're like me, you know that no good weed goes unpunished . And nobody knows punishment like the employees at the Thwacker Whacker factory. Their Turbo-Thwacker transforms weed whackin' from a right-handed bore of a chore into a left-handed ton o' fun! And the thwacker's new turbocharger engine now delivers increased noise levels up to 50%! $49.99"

Stylin' Left-handed Shoulder-Mount MP3 Tune Tote[edit]

"If you're like me, you can never find your MP3 player because the li'l puppy is so gosh darn itsy bitsy small. That's why I call this ultimate left-handed MP3 player accessory "The Big Woofer"! Just slip your teensy-weensy MP3 player into the cradle and you're ready to tote dem tunes all over town. Super-duper-size speakers eliminate the need for those pesky earbuds. $199.99"

Flatterin' Flanders' Left-handed Compli-Mints[edit]

"If you're like me, you know that nothing falls flatter than false flattery. That's why our left-handed Compli-Mints take the "phony" out of "baloney." Bow of 24 sweet-talkin' mints. $3.99"

Left-handed Nose Hair Styler[edit]

"If you're like me, fells, you know that the left hand "nose" best! And Ned "nose" you'll love this thingamabob that detangles, and adds body, giving you silky, shiny salon-styled nose hair-at home! $29.99"

Tippity-top-tippin' Left-handed Hats[edit]

"If you're like me, fellas, you like to tip your hat howdily-doodily-do when you meet a lady... but that's easier said than done when you're fumblin' to find the brim of a right-handed hat. Our nifteroonie left-handed hats will put you gents back in goodly graces with your gal pals quicker than you can say, "H-h-hats all, folks! $19.99"

The Ned Flanders Signature Left-handed Pullover Sweater[edit]

"When Judgment Day comes, this is the sweater you'll reach for!"
―Ned Flanders[src]

"If you're like me, you'll love this classic pullover sweater that harkens back to the days when us fellas didn't give a rooty-toot-toot about fashion. Men's sizes: Medium. Extra Medium. Extra Extra Medium. Available in green only. $39.99"

Left-handed Artists' Sofa-size Art Prints[edit]

"If you're like me, you believe art should be a picture of something, not like that godless abstract stuff. That's why all of our sofa-size prints by left-handed artists depict actual recognizable objects. Choose from such eye-pleasin' categories as: Plants & Flowers, Trees & Shrubs, Cows & Horses, Kittens & Puppies, and many, many more! $99.99"

"Let There Be Light!" Left-handed Flashlight[edit]

"If you're like me, you hate to be in the dark when it comes to choosing a flashlight. When then, let ol' Flash Flanders light up your life with this shining example! Our left-handed flashlight is so well designed you'll think it was designed by an intelligent designer. $39.99"