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FlanCrest Enterprises

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki

FlanCrest Enterprises is an Internet company that Ned and Maude Flanders run. They use the company to sell religious books and rugs.

History[edit]

When Homer decided to start his own internet company, he learned that Flanders was also running a company of his own.[1]

The company appears to have evolved significantly, and is now more involved in the manufacturing of a variety of left-handed gadgets and other items advertised in the Leftorium catalog.[2]

THE SHARPEN' EDGE - Premium Selections from the Leftorium Catalog[edit]

"From the FlanCrest® line of high-end gadgets and doodily-doohickeys that no one needs but by gosh and by golly a fella's just gotta have!"

Just-a-Half-a-Cup-More Left-handed Coffee Brewer[edit]

"If you're like me, no matter how much java you have-a, you still want just a skosh more. Well, say no more, or should I say: say more! The FlanCrest® Brewster serves up that perfect left-handed half-a-cup-a-coffee you crave. Its compact design lets it snuggle up on your kitchen counter in between your FlanCrest® Brewhaha 12-cup left-handed coffeemaker and your FlanCrest® Breuropean left-handed coffee espresso machine. $129.99"

Say "Y'ello-dily-odily" to Our Left-handed Cell Phone[edit]

"If you're like me, you miss a lot of important calls using a right-handed phone because you always have the wrong side up to your ear. That's why I think you'll flip over this flip phone with its exclusive left-handed keypad and a whole kit and caboodle of features so advanced you'll probably never learn to use 'em! $59.99"

Superbo Turbo-Thwacker Left-handed Weed Whacker[edit]

"If you're like me, you know that no good weed goes unpunished . And nobody knows punishment like the employees at the Thwacker Whacker factory. Their Turbo-Thwacker transforms weed whackin' from a right-handed bore of a chore into a left-handed ton o' fun! And the thwacker's new turbocharger engine now delivers increased noise levels up to 50%! $49.99"

Stylin' Left-handed Shoulder-Mount MP3 Tune Tote[edit]

"If you're like me, you can never find your MP3 player because the li'l puppy is so gosh darn itsy bitsy small. That's why I call this ultimate left-handed MP3 player accessory "The Big Woofer"! Just slip your teensy-weensy MP3 player into the cradle and you're ready to tote dem tunes all over town. Super-duper-size speakers eliminate the need for those pesky earbuds. $199.99"

Flatterin' Flanders' Left-handed Compli-Mints[edit]

"If you're like me, you know that nothing falls flatter than false flattery. That's why our left-handed Compli-Mints take the "phony" out of "baloney." Bow of 24 sweet-talkin' mints. $3.99"

Left-handed Nose Hair Styler[edit]

"If you're like me, fells, you know that the left hand "nose" best! And Ned "nose" you'll love this thingamabob that detangles, and adds body, giving you silky, shiny salon-styled nose hair-at home! $29.99"

Tippity-top-tippin' Left-handed Hats[edit]

"If you're like me, fellas, you like to tip your hat howdily-doodily-do when you meet a lady... but that's easier said than done when you're fumblin' to find the brim of a right-handed hat. Our nifteroonie left-handed hats will put you gents back in goodly graces with your gal pals quicker than you can say, "H-h-hats all, folks! $19.99"

The Ned Flanders Signature Left-handed Pullover Sweater[edit]

"When Judgment Day comes, this is the sweater you'll reach for!"
―Ned Flanders[src]

"If you're like me, you'll love this classic pullover sweater that harkens back to the days when us fellas didn't give a rooty-toot-toot about fashion. Men's sizes: Medium. Extra Medium. Extra Extra Medium. Available in green only. $39.99"

Left-handed Artists' Sofa-size Art Prints[edit]

"If you're like me, you believe art should be a picture of something, not like that godless abstract stuff. That's why all of our sofa-size prints by left-handed artists depict actual recognizable objects. Choose from such eye-pleasin' categories as: Plants & Flowers, Trees & Shrubs, Cows & Horses, Kittens & Puppies, and many, many more! $99.99"

"Let There Be Light!" Left-handed Flashlight[edit]

"If you're like me, you hate to be in the dark when it comes to choosing a flashlight. When then, let ol' Flash Flanders light up your life with this shining example! Our left-handed flashlight is so well designed you'll think it was designed by an intelligent designer. $39.99"

Appearances[edit]


References[edit]