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DNAin't Necessarily So/Quotes

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki

Lisa: Joy! The greatest day of the year is only two weeks away!
Bart: Christmas was months ago, Lis!
Milhouse Van Houten: Maybe she means Chinese Christmas!
Lisa: It's the science fair, sillies!
Bart: So, is there a prize?
Lisa: The opportunity to push back the boundaries of knowledge and publicize your findings.
Bart: So, no prize.
Martin Prince: As if you had prayer of winning, Bart.
Bart: I could if I wanted to, Martin.
Martin: I'm afraid every breakthrough in flatulence has been documented. While I am assured top honors for the top secret porject I've been working on all year.
Lisa: Top secret project? Are we supposed to be impressed by that?
Milhouse: Wowww... top secret...
Martin: Well, see you at the awards ceremony. I'll be the one being handed the first prixe ribbon.
Lisa: What a jerk.

Marge: Lisa, a very important-looking envelope came for you today.
Lisa: My research results! Now I can mpa the SImpsons genome! Martin Prince and his "top secret project"... [HMMPF!] that science prize is mine! This could lead to bigger things. Publication in a scientific journal. Eraly college admission. Huh?! This letter says I'm of Dutch ancestry. But that's not what mom and dad have told me. But this says I'm half hollander. Half? How's what possible? One of my parents would have to be 100% Dutch. I'll scan the DNA charts and send them to genes-4-u. There must have been a mistake. This probably happens all the time. heh. it's a mix-up... has tob be... Greta Vanglotten? My mother is Dutch? And Homer is still my father?

Marge: Today's the big day! Science fair! You must be so excited, Lisa! Your father and I will both be there for the award ceremony!
Lisa: Good luck! Yeah... good luck...

Lisa: I don't deserve this award! I'm a fraud! I faked my results! My research was meant to show the combined gentics of my parents created my own unique pattern. Instead I proved that my real mother is a woman named Greta from Holland!
Homer: I made it with a Dutch broard and don't even remember it?
Marge: But...
Superintendent Chalmers: Skinnerrrr...
Marge: Lisa, how can you think I'm not your mother?
Lisa: You don't have to lie any more, Marge. I know the truth.

Principal Skinner: Well, I'll just take his back now.
Lisa: Hey!
Principal Skinner: No reproducible results... no prize.
Gary Chalmers: Skinnerrr...
Principal Skinner: Must... choose... now... Um. Rod Flanders for his exhibit.
Rod Flanders: I proved that dinosaurus never existed and that the devil made all those fossil bones to try and fool us.
Principal Skinner: Wonderful work. Very conclusive.
Ned Flanders: Good work, Roddy! You showed them where they could park their jurassics.