Corporate Mergers/Quotes
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- Kent Brockman: ...And so, with the merger of Omni Global Monolith Corp and superuberopolis.com, virtually all Americans, save those working in the home gift-basket industry, now draw their pay check from one of three major corporations.
- Mr. Burns: Smithers, what are these "mergers" I keep hearing about on the televisioning box?
- Waylon Smithers: Well, sir, it's all the rage amongst top executives such as yourself. It involves one huge corporation taking over another huge corporation, creating an even larger corporation.
- Mr. Burns: "All the rage," you say? Well, I missed out on the Charleston craze, the whole "free love" thing, and the Rubick's Cube--maybe it's time old Monty jumped on the bandwagon. This is one fad I don't want to miss!
- Smithers: Sir, I've lined up some possible targets for a merger or even a hostile takeover.
- Mr. Burns: Hmmm, "hostile takeover"? I like the sound of that. It doesn't quite roll off the tongue like "blitzkrieg," but it's not bad.
- Smithers: Well, sir, first up we have Teddy Bear Corp...
- Mr. Burns: Too cuddly!
- Smithers: Allied Sofa?
- Mr. Burns: Too comfy!
- Smithers: Federated Skipping Rope?
- Mr. Burns: Too girly!
- Smithers: Amalgamated Razor Wire?
- Mr. Burns: You're getting warm...
- Kent Brockman: The merger between Healco.com and Burns Industries has come untied. Apparently, Montgomery Burns was furious that Healco employees do not wear the traditional business attire of suit, tie, and uncomfortable shoes... ...opting instead for the more casual golf-pro-meets-surfer look favored by workers in the "new economy."
- Mr. Burns: Casual?! Those pink-cheeked slackards at Healco were under-dressed for a Tijuana cock fight! Besides, I want to devote more time to these Pocket Monster cards you bought me, Smithers! Now this is a fad with legs!