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Comic Book Guy's Lament

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
Comic Book Guy's Lament
Comic Book Guy's Lament.png
Song Information
Singers: Hank Azaria
Maurice LaMarche
Characters: Comic Book Guy
Length: 1:10
Writer(s): Music by Alf Clausen
Lyrics by Tim Long
Appearance(s): "Married to the Blob"

"Comic Book Guy's Lament" is a song sung by Comic Book Guy.


Comic Book Guy:
I've always been happy to call myself single.
No Mary Jane.
Or Lois Lane with whom I'd comingle.
(Comic Book Guy opens the lid on a can of Pringle Potato Chips and grabs a chip,
He pours out all of the chips in a line and eats them all.)
You could say that I was an unstackable Pringle.
(Comic Book Guy walks past pillars with various magazines on display)
I've got originals signed by Siegel and Shuster.
But they don't satisfy in the way that they used-ter.
(Milo plays the guitar while Strawberry plays the Drums on the sidewalk in front of the Comic Book Shop.)
It really don't matter if you've got a Cap Anson.
If you spend your nights in your underwear prancin' with a cardboard stand of Scarlett Johansson!
Comic Book Guy:
Guess I've always been lonely
but I've never revealed it.
Dropped my heart into Mylar and then...
(sobs) vacuum sealed... it.