Bart the Unconscionable Menace/Quotes

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Quotes



Bart: Oh, Mr. Flanders! If God is all powerful, can he create a rock that even he can't lift?
Ned Flanders: Well that's a diddly-doozy of a paradox, Bart. But the answer is no, because God has the power to do all things possible. He can't create a circle with corners or a quart of color either.

Bart: Oh, Mr. Flanders! How could there be a God before creation?
Ned: Well, that's a trick-diddly-icky one. The early Christians had a concept called "Demiurge" to explain it. It's like the Taoist's Tao...

Bart: Oh, Mr. Flanders! How can there be only one God when he's also part of a Trinity?
Ned: Glory be, Bart, you're just full of questions today. And that's one of the toughest of all. I believe you shouldn't add the members of the Trinity-- multiply them instead. One times one times one and you still have one!

Bart: Oh, Mr. Flanders! How can the Bible say "an eye for an eye" when it also says, "turn the other cheek"?
Ned: Bart Simpson, you are the living end! Well, I'll tell you, one phrase refers to the proper punishment for the crime, while the other refers to mercy.

Bart: I think he's beginning to get peeved.
Reverend Lovejoy: This is great stuff, boy. Let's test his "turn the other cheek" theory. I'll give you five more bucks if you give him a hotfoot.